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10-14-2013, 04:18 PM
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#1
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Senior Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 184
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feeling negative
I need to vent and I can't talk about this to anyone right now. I am feeling down because normally I am thinking positive about the future but all of a sudden my mind is telling me that it is unlikely I will die from anything but cancer. I was married early (I was 20, husband 23) and had kids late (I was 33 and 37 yrs at their adoptions). I am 57 and our kids are 20 and 24. Been married 37 years and feel blessed in so many ways but it's not fair anyway. I think losing Amanda so young has gotten me thinking maybe I've used up my luck and have had a life with struggles but so many good things that maybe I've had my share. I know this is a temporary mood and it will pass but it seems that not only does cancer change our futures and plans but it takes our joy in the future, even if it's only for the time it takes to type this. I don't need to put on a false face for my husband or sister especially but the burden they carry is enough and I just don't want to add to it.
Thank you all for being there and letting me vent. I am on my way back to joy and humor and cooking dinner.
Love, laughter and big hugs to all,
Cathy
__________________
3/06 DX stage III er-pr-her2+++ breast, 1+node
age 49 and 364 days
3XAC 4X taxol and herceptin continue herceptin one year
bilat mastectomy w/TRAM
32 rads
9/08 recurrance 4 sternal nodes
mediastinoscopy, able to remove 3
taxotere, carboplatin, herceptin, x6
continue herceptin indefinately
5/10 recurrance in same node/area
mediastinoscopy, removed nodes
added tykerb
27 rads
10/18/10 PET shows inflammation no active disease
8/2011 recurrence one right mediastinal node, xeloda and proton radiation to node.
D/C xeloda due to toxicity
12/5 PET scan clear
2/2012 colon blockage, breast cancer
(never thought it could go there! thought I was constipated)
start abraxane, herceptin, continue tykerb
10/2012 Kidney ablation (renal CA!)
3/2013 CT and biopsy R kidney (BC met to R kidney)
4/4/2013 Begin Kadcyla
7/30/13 Craniotomy cerebellar mets, 1.7cm 3cm
Sept 4-6 post op cyberknife
Sept 23 ablation right kidney (blow up pesky breast ca met)
Oct headaches MRI Oct 10 (only surgical changes ! Yay!)
Short of breath. CT, pulmonary function, echo
New crap in right lung heart good. Pooh!
12/13 DC kadcyla. Begin halaven
2/14 MRI brain NED Yay!
4/3/14 CT mostly stable but breast mets r kidney growing
4/16/14 ablation right kidney again
Continue halaven, tykerb
dc halaven gemzar?
2nd opinion May 14
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10-14-2013, 05:46 PM
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#2
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Sunny San Diego
Posts: 2,214
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Re: feeling negative
Cat,
I think losing Amanda is hitting us all pretty hard. You've been through a lot this year. So happy that your recent MRI was good news. We are hoping too that this is just grief for Mandamoo, and it will pass.
Schoonder posted about a trial with
Pictilisib (GDC-0941) and TDM1. You might want to check it out and see if is something you could try when the Phase II opens up.
[Big hug from Southern California]
Hope that you feel better after a nice dinner.
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10-14-2013, 07:22 PM
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#3
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Naples FL
Posts: 1,744
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Re: feeling negative
It is grief for Amanda that we are feeling, as I read the news tonight , I, too feel down and discouraged. It brings up my own grief for the innocence I had before I was dx'd with cancer...that dreaded word. She was too young...we are ALL too young. Cancer robbed me of my peace of mind...made me face my own mortality. I guess I have a bad case of Peter Pan Syndrome...!!!
__________________
 Suzan W.
age 54 at diagnosis
5/05 suspicious mammogram-left breast
5/05 biopsy-invasive lobular carcinoma with LCIS,8mm tumor,stage 1 grade 2, ER+ PR+ Her2+++
6/14/05 bilateral mastectomy, node neg. all scans neg.
Oncotype DX-high risk
8/05-10/05 4 rounds A/C
10/05 -10/06 1 yr. herceptin
arimidex-5 years
2/14/08 started daily self administered injections..FORTEO for severe osteoporosis
7/28/09 BRCA 1 negative BRCA2 POSITIVE
8/17/09 prophylactic salpingo-oophorectomy
10/15/10 last FORTEOinjection
RECLAST infusion(ostoeporosis)
6/14/10 5 year cancerversary!
8/2010-18%increase in bone density!
no further treatments
Oncologist says, "Go do the Happy Dance"
I say,"What a long strange trip its been"
'One day at a time'
6-14-2015. 10 YEAR CANCERVERSARY!
7-16 to 9-16. Extensive (and expensive) dental work done to save teeth. Damage from osteoporosis and chemo and long term bisphosphonate use
6-14-16. 11 YEAR CANCERVERSARY!!
7-20-16 Prolia injection for severe osteoporosis
2 days later, massive hive outbreak. This led to an eventual dx of Chronic Ideopathic Urticaria, an auto-immune disease from HELL.
6-14-17 12 YEAR CANCERVERSARY!!
still suffering from CIU. 4 hospitilizations in the past year
as of today, 10-31-17 in remission from CIU and still, CANCER FREE!!!
6-14-18 13 YEAR CANCERVERSARY!! NED!!
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10-14-2013, 11:22 PM
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#4
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 494
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Re: feeling negative
Cathy, we all have our down days and Amanda's death was a particular blow. But generally we just keep on going, trying not to upset friends and family, because we really don't have any other viable option. A truck might finish me off tomorrow or I might die of cancer, but maybe that's better than the Alzheimer's that afflicts my poor 95 year old father! It is good to be able to vent here though.
Best wishes..... Pam
__________________
Diagnosed 2004: Lumpectomy - 2 tumours, both grade 1 infiltrating duct carcinoma, about 12mm. ER+,
C-erbB-2 status 3+.
Clear margins, no nodal involvement.
Radiotherapy, i year Tamoxifen, 4 years Arimidex.
Rediagnosed 2012: Multiple bone metastases.
3/12: began on Marianne trial - T-DM1 + Pertuzamab/Placebo.
5/12:Unexpected development of numerous bilateral liver mets. Came off trial.
Started Docetaxol/ Herceptin + Zometa.
8/12:Bones stable +major regression in liver (!)
9/12:Can't take any more Docetaxol! Start on Herceptin and Tamoxifen. Cross fingers!
Changed to Denosumab.
11/12: Scan shows stable - yay!
11/13: Still stable :-) !!!
1/16: All stable, but lowered calcium, so switched to Zometa 3 monthly.
2/19: Happily still stable on Herceptin, Letrozole and 3 monthly Zometa.
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10-15-2013, 04:46 AM
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#5
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Senior Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 1,427
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Re: feeling negative
Cathy,
The great thing about a support group is you can say what you're really thinking, and ask for what you need. I understand what you're saying. I, too, was floored by Amanda's death. It hit me hard.
I'm not saying I'm glad I have cancer, but I am able to see some upside. Both my parents died young, and suddenly. I was 22 when my mother died and 26 when my dad died. At least my kids are all older than 22 (the youngest is turning 25 next month) and they're on notice that I most likely won't achieve a normal life span. I think we appreciate each other more.
That same understanding, for me, means I make different choices about my life than I might have. I really am a better person in some ways--more patient, less likely to get upset about little things, more focused on my spiritual needs and my need for love and companionship.
Still, it's hard sometimes. I can usually just put cancer out of my mind, but last weekend I had to let the sadness and regret have its time in my head. The dark has a claim on me too, and something to teach me, whether I like it or not.
I think everyone here should feel free to vent sometimes. That's what this group is for.
__________________
Amy
_____________________________
4/19/11 Diagnosed invasive ductal carcinoma in left breast; 2.3 cm tumor, 1 axillary lymph node, weakly ER+, HER2+++
4/29/11 CT scan shows suspicious lesions on liver and lungs
5/17/11 liver biopsy
5/24/11 liver met confirmed--Stage IV at diagnosis
5/27/11 Begin weekly Taxol & Herceptin for 3 months (standard of care at the time of my DX)
7/18/11 Switch to weekly Abraxane & Herceptin due to Taxol allergy
8/29/11 CT scan shows no new lesions & old lesions shrinking
9/27/11 Finish Abraxane. Start Herceptin every 3 weeks. Begin taking Arimidex
10/17/11--Brain MRI--No Brain mets
12/5/11 PET scan--Almost NED
5/15/12 PET scan shows progression-breast/chest/spine (one vertebra)
5/22/12 Stop taking Arimidex; stay on Herceptin
6/11/12 Started Tykerb and Herceptin on clinical trial (w/no chemo)
9/24/12 CT scan--No new mets. Everything stable.
3/11/13 CT Scan--two small new possible mets and odd looking area in left lung getting larger.
4/2/13--Biopsy of suspicious area in lower left lung. Mets to lung confirmed.
4/30/13 Begin Kadcyla/TDM-1
8/16/13 PET scan "mixed," with some areas of increased uptake, but also some definite improvement, so I'll stay on TDM-1/Kadcyla.
11/11/13 Finally get hormone receptor results from lung biopsy of 4/2/13. My cancer is no longer ER positive.
11/13/13 PET scan mixed results again. We're calling it "stable." Problems breathing on exertion.
2/18/14 PET scan shows a new lesion and newly active lymph node in chest, other progression. Bye bye TDM-1.
2/28/14 Begin Herceptin/Perjeta every 3 weeks.
6/8/14 PET "mixed," with no new lesions, and everything but lower lungs improving. My breathing is better.
8/18/14 PET "mixed" again. Upper lungs & one spine met stable, lower lungs less FDG avid, original tumor more avid, one lymph node in mediastinum more avid.
9/1/14 Begin taking Xeloda one week on, one week off. Will also stay on Herceptin and Perjeta every three weeks.
12/11/14 PET Scan--no new lesions, and everything looks better than it did.
3/20/15 PET Scan--no new lesions, but lower lung lesions larger and a bit more avid.
4/13/15 Increasing Xeloda dose to 10 days on, one week off.
7/1/15 Scan "mixed" again, but suggests continuing progression. Stop Xeloda. Substitute Abraxane every 3 weeks starting 7/13.
10/28/15 PET scan shows dramatic improvement everywhere. All lesions except lower lungs have resolved; lower lungs noticeably improved.
12/18/15 Last Abraxane. Continue on Herceptin and Perjeta alone beginning 1/8/16.
1/27/16 PET scan shows cancer is stable.
5/11/16 PET scan shows uptake in some areas that were resolved on the last two scans.
6/3/16 Begin Kadcyla and Tykerb combination
6/5 - 6/23 Horrible diarrhea from K&T together. Got pneumonia.
7/15/16 Begin Kadcyla only every 3 weeks.
9/6/16 Begin radiation therapy on right lung lesion that caused the pneumonia.
10/3/16 Last of 12 radiation treatments to right lung.
11/4/16 Huffing and puffing, low O2, high heart rate, on tiniest bit of exertion. Diagnosed as radiation pneumonitis. Treated with Prednisone.
11/11/16 PET scan shows significant improvement to radiated part of right lung BUT a bunch of new lung lesions, and the bone met is getting worse.
11/22/16 Begin Eribulin and Herceptin. H every 3 weeks. E two weeks on, one week off.
3/6/17 Scan shows progression in lungs. Bone met a little better.
3/23/17 Lung biopsy. Tumor sampled is ER-, PR+ (5%), HER2+++. Getting Herceptin and Perjeta as a maintenance treatment.
5/31/17 Port placement
6/1/17 Start Navelbine & Tykerb
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10-15-2013, 06:10 AM
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#6
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Philly Suburbs
Posts: 1,709
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Re: feeling negative
Cat,
Thanks for sharing what MANY of us are feeling. Well said, my friend.
I'm praying we'll all find some peace in our souls soon. Constant turmoil and sadness are wearing.
Sending peace your way!
Denise
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10-15-2013, 10:07 AM
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#7
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Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 585
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Re: feeling negative
I would imagine many of us are having these sort of feelings right now. Losing Amanda is a real shock, and so heartbreaking. Losing Jessica was also a big shock to me. I feel like sometimes we don't get a chance to prepare or brace ourselves...everything just turns around so quick and its such a shock. We have had a lot of loss in a what seems like a short amount of time, and there is just no avoiding the grief losing these wonderful women causes.
We can all get through this together, and we can all support each other. Our positive attitudes will return to us... Lots of prayers and positive energy headed your way.
__________________
Diagnosed in October 2011 Stage IV with metastasis to liver.
January 2012 after double mastectomy, started taxotere, carboplatin and herceptin.
Clear.
December 2012 was diagnosed with five brain mets, and had whole brain radiation.
Around July 2014 two mets in brain, one a residual spot and one new one growing in size. Received Cyberknife on both areas
Clear/NED
April 2015 remain NED
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10-15-2013, 04:02 PM
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#8
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Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Attica, IN
Posts: 371
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Re: feeling negative
Venting to others that understand without judgement, guilt or worry is worth more than a word I can come up with.
I have a cyber friend whom I have emailed, watched her documentary and she sent me a chemo tips book. Her name is Ann Murray Paige, and I have never met her in person, but I just love her. She has been fighting cancer for 9 1/2 years and is simply amazing.
I recommend her blog to everyone for inspiration and at the same time keeping it real. Today she is having WBR. She is spunky, spirited, funny sarcastic and she is my hero in the cancer world. I want her to come thru this and be okay, and I don't want to lose her. I don't want her to lose herself!
My point in writing this is cancer sucks! And today might suck but tommorrow is a new day and it takes a village like all of us to pull together on a forum with a common bond that we have never asked for but got. So Cat we got you today and hang tough...
I don't want anymore people to die, have treatments that change the person they are, and I hope and pray that a cure not just NED is in the very near future. But until that day we are blessed to have one another in all the good, bad, positive, negative and anything else that comes along our path !
__________________
myleftlump.wordpress.com - started blogging my
IDC breast cancer
7/2012 diagnosed with multiple solid lesions
7/20/12 biopsy done. ER+ 30 PR -, HER+++,k167 80% Grade 2
9/2012 biopsy on lymph node - showed malignant
9/2012 Pre-adjunctive TCH chemo.
12/6/12 MRI after Pre-adj.
Results: Modest Decrease in size of left breast malignancy As well as the associated satellite lesions and auxiliary Adenopathy compared to prior study. Doctors hoped for better but good response it didn't grow.
12/18/2012 left masectomy with axillary nodes
Size 3.2 CM, Nottingham score 9/9
Grade 3, no evidence of in situ carcinoma
Areas of angiolymphatic are identified
Carcinoma is 0.5 cm from inked deep
Margin of excision
Attached axillary lymph nodes: metastatic
Carcinoma in 6 of 8 nodes.
Size of largest node 1.5 cm
Extracapsular
ER + 73%, PR+2%, HER2+
2/27/13 6 weeks of IMRT radiation finished
2/2013 Started on Tamoxifan 5 years.
8/2013 will take last Herceptin, 17 treatments total every 3 weeks.
BRCA1 & BRAC2 - Negative
August 28, 2013 DIEP flap on the left breast.
February 2014 Nip & Tuck
March 14, 2014 nipple reconstruction and removed port.
August 14, 2014 lump in lymph nodes under arm and above clavicle. Stage IV
August 28, 2014 herceptin And projeta starting and port put back in.
3/18/15 stopped arimidex.
3/18/15 progression....Tdm1
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10-15-2013, 07:12 PM
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#9
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Senior Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 184
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Re: feeling negative
Wow! Now I am crying again but in a good way. I am so grateful to all of you for your positivity, support and acceptance. And yes today is a new day. We can't control what happens TO us only what we do with it when it happens.
I am in awe of all of you and so so grateful.
Thank you, thank you, thank you
Cathy
__________________
3/06 DX stage III er-pr-her2+++ breast, 1+node
age 49 and 364 days
3XAC 4X taxol and herceptin continue herceptin one year
bilat mastectomy w/TRAM
32 rads
9/08 recurrance 4 sternal nodes
mediastinoscopy, able to remove 3
taxotere, carboplatin, herceptin, x6
continue herceptin indefinately
5/10 recurrance in same node/area
mediastinoscopy, removed nodes
added tykerb
27 rads
10/18/10 PET shows inflammation no active disease
8/2011 recurrence one right mediastinal node, xeloda and proton radiation to node.
D/C xeloda due to toxicity
12/5 PET scan clear
2/2012 colon blockage, breast cancer
(never thought it could go there! thought I was constipated)
start abraxane, herceptin, continue tykerb
10/2012 Kidney ablation (renal CA!)
3/2013 CT and biopsy R kidney (BC met to R kidney)
4/4/2013 Begin Kadcyla
7/30/13 Craniotomy cerebellar mets, 1.7cm 3cm
Sept 4-6 post op cyberknife
Sept 23 ablation right kidney (blow up pesky breast ca met)
Oct headaches MRI Oct 10 (only surgical changes ! Yay!)
Short of breath. CT, pulmonary function, echo
New crap in right lung heart good. Pooh!
12/13 DC kadcyla. Begin halaven
2/14 MRI brain NED Yay!
4/3/14 CT mostly stable but breast mets r kidney growing
4/16/14 ablation right kidney again
Continue halaven, tykerb
dc halaven gemzar?
2nd opinion May 14
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10-15-2013, 07:53 PM
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#10
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Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Attica, IN
Posts: 371
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Re: feeling negative
Crying and laughing are good for the immune system.....because the Doctor said, and I am one big believer of expressing/relieving both now!!  .
__________________
myleftlump.wordpress.com - started blogging my
IDC breast cancer
7/2012 diagnosed with multiple solid lesions
7/20/12 biopsy done. ER+ 30 PR -, HER+++,k167 80% Grade 2
9/2012 biopsy on lymph node - showed malignant
9/2012 Pre-adjunctive TCH chemo.
12/6/12 MRI after Pre-adj.
Results: Modest Decrease in size of left breast malignancy As well as the associated satellite lesions and auxiliary Adenopathy compared to prior study. Doctors hoped for better but good response it didn't grow.
12/18/2012 left masectomy with axillary nodes
Size 3.2 CM, Nottingham score 9/9
Grade 3, no evidence of in situ carcinoma
Areas of angiolymphatic are identified
Carcinoma is 0.5 cm from inked deep
Margin of excision
Attached axillary lymph nodes: metastatic
Carcinoma in 6 of 8 nodes.
Size of largest node 1.5 cm
Extracapsular
ER + 73%, PR+2%, HER2+
2/27/13 6 weeks of IMRT radiation finished
2/2013 Started on Tamoxifan 5 years.
8/2013 will take last Herceptin, 17 treatments total every 3 weeks.
BRCA1 & BRAC2 - Negative
August 28, 2013 DIEP flap on the left breast.
February 2014 Nip & Tuck
March 14, 2014 nipple reconstruction and removed port.
August 14, 2014 lump in lymph nodes under arm and above clavicle. Stage IV
August 28, 2014 herceptin And projeta starting and port put back in.
3/18/15 stopped arimidex.
3/18/15 progression....Tdm1
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10-20-2013, 09:01 AM
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#11
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Hot Springs, South Dakota
Posts: 158
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Re: feeling negative
My favorite saying is from an old song "Sometimes a tear has to fall" I just have to remind myself that I can't stay there. I have to get up (and sometimes that in itself is a chore LOL) and move on. I think its great that we have a safe place to say I'm scared, tired, or negative. Talking about it takes the power out of the emotion and reminds us we really do have people that care - even if we have never met them. I have gained a wealth of info from this board and most importantly I no longer feel alone!!!! YEA!!! Hope you feel better
__________________
Paula T. (saygoon means dog, yes I am Native)
DX March 2012
Stage IV w/ 5 bone mets to spine 2 on ribs
Herceptin, Zometa, Taxotere and Anasterole and of course radiation
2/14/2014 2 mets on pelvic bone
Stop Anasterole continue on Herceptin and Zometa start radiation (again)
2/24/2014 start T-DM1 continue Herceptin and Zometa
4/28 more radiation that brings total to 5 (10 days ea) - I think I will soon glow in the dark....
6/01/2014 Great news! Rib mets gone, 4 of 5 spine mets showing new bone growth and pelvic mets shrinking.
8/28/2014 T11 on spine is being stubborn started Perjeta, Herceptin, Zometa and Taxol - goodbye hair!
9/04/2014 Tomo therapy - pain finally gone
1/3/2015 - starting New Year out as still stable. Feeling positive
2/23/2015 - problems with left leg, bone met flaring up - MORE radiation Whew!
2/24/2015 Stress fracture in right side of pelvic - (great just great) back to wheelchair then walker then.....
2/26/2015 Off Taxol!! Still on Perjeta, Herceptin and Hormone Blocker starting to feel a little more human.
4/10/2015 Cancer has spread to spinal fluid - not sure where I go from here
6/29/2015 Omaya Port placed,begin IT Herceptin on 7/7/2015
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10-20-2013, 01:15 PM
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#12
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Senior Member
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Haarlem, the Netherlands
Posts: 835
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Re: feeling negative
Cancer Sucks. There's no doubt about it. None of us can be positive all the time. Sometimes it's just too much and a small thing can trigger the blues. It is so good to have this group to vent. We all understand. And we all have to go through a tough spot when one of us dies. But we keep putting one foot in front of the other, we keep breathing. And we find a new equilibrium.
Putting my arms around you and giving you a big hug.
Jacqueline
__________________
Diagnosed age 44, January 2004, 0.7 cm IDC & DCIS. Stage 1, grade 3, ER/PR pos. HER2 pos. clear margins, no nodes. SNB. 35 rads. On Zoladex and Armidex since Dec. 2004. Stopped Zoladex/Arimidex sept 2009 Still taking mistletoe shots (CAM therapy) Doing fine.
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10-20-2013, 04:39 PM
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#13
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Senior Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 184
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Re: feeling negative
Thank you all again. Your support and knowledge is, as the commercial says, priceless. I have been feeling normal and I have you all to thank. Now if somebody could help me dealing with my parents! Physically and mentally! Haha! Love them dearly but as my kids get older, they seem to get younger! It truly is "the cycle of life".
Love and hugs to all
Cathy
__________________
3/06 DX stage III er-pr-her2+++ breast, 1+node
age 49 and 364 days
3XAC 4X taxol and herceptin continue herceptin one year
bilat mastectomy w/TRAM
32 rads
9/08 recurrance 4 sternal nodes
mediastinoscopy, able to remove 3
taxotere, carboplatin, herceptin, x6
continue herceptin indefinately
5/10 recurrance in same node/area
mediastinoscopy, removed nodes
added tykerb
27 rads
10/18/10 PET shows inflammation no active disease
8/2011 recurrence one right mediastinal node, xeloda and proton radiation to node.
D/C xeloda due to toxicity
12/5 PET scan clear
2/2012 colon blockage, breast cancer
(never thought it could go there! thought I was constipated)
start abraxane, herceptin, continue tykerb
10/2012 Kidney ablation (renal CA!)
3/2013 CT and biopsy R kidney (BC met to R kidney)
4/4/2013 Begin Kadcyla
7/30/13 Craniotomy cerebellar mets, 1.7cm 3cm
Sept 4-6 post op cyberknife
Sept 23 ablation right kidney (blow up pesky breast ca met)
Oct headaches MRI Oct 10 (only surgical changes ! Yay!)
Short of breath. CT, pulmonary function, echo
New crap in right lung heart good. Pooh!
12/13 DC kadcyla. Begin halaven
2/14 MRI brain NED Yay!
4/3/14 CT mostly stable but breast mets r kidney growing
4/16/14 ablation right kidney again
Continue halaven, tykerb
dc halaven gemzar?
2nd opinion May 14
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10-21-2013, 05:45 AM
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#14
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 260
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Re: feeling negative
Thanks to Cat for starting this thread and to all you others for answering.
I have had a few down times in this, my 4th TCH cycle. I think I shed tears each time a neutrophil explodes or something. (I think the white cells are coming back now.)
So I started nagging my 15 year old daughter, who doesn't want to grow up, I think. She lurks in her room and hopes that if she takes long enough to do anything, someone else will get impatient and do what ever needs to be done for her and meals and clean laundry will miraculously appear. She claims to know how to cook and clean and look after herself, but shows little evidence. You know how it is with teenagers. I think I was pretty useless for a while at that age.
Then after the shouting, I go back to my room and burst into tears because it's not really about her current behavior at all. It is about my fear that in a year or three, when she's about to go out in the world and truly needs and is motivated to learn these life skills properly, I might not be around to teach her (or to tell her I told you so).
That stuff is always lurking in the back of your mind. The front of my brain knows that my Stage 2a cancer has a fair chance of cure, but the shadow is still there. For others in this group, the shadow is much bigger or closer or a constant presence.
It's my feeling that the shadow has to come out to the daylight to do its horrid little dance to the sound of our wailing from time to time. When it's finished we can say "Well, nice to see you again, I suppose, but you'll have to go now because I've got better things to do with my time right now."
And today, I watched and laughed at strange Japanese anime cartoons with my daughter and she managed to finish her English essay without being told to and we have peace.
Aussie Girl
__________________
31mm Infiltrating duct carcinoma
Grade 3, ER/PR-, HER2+, Neg Sentinel nodes x 5
49mm field of DCIS
17 June '13: Screen detected impalpable mass, Mammogram neg, US.
25 June '13: Diagnosed after multiple biopsies and MRIs
28 June '13: Left lumpectomey
4 July '13: Left Mastectomy
12 August '13: Commenced TCH chemo
Mid December '13 : TCH finished. Herceptin continuing three weekly.
4 August 2014- Herceptin infusions finished.
END OF THERAPY - YAY!
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10-21-2013, 12:10 PM
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#15
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Ireland
Posts: 3,463
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Re: feeling negative
Its all been said but just wanted to send you good wishes Cathy. x
__________________
Tricia
Dx July '05 IDC 1.9cm Triple positive 3/9 nodes positive
A/C X 4 ..Taxol/Herceptin x 12 wks then herceptin 1 yr
Rads x 36 ..oophorectomy August '06
Currently taking Arimidex..
June 2011 osteopenia/ zometa x1 yearly- stopped Zometa 2015 as Dexa show normal bone density.
Stopped Arimidex July 2014- Restarted Arimidex 2015 for a further two years on the advice of my Onc.
2014 Normal Dexa scan
2018 Mammo all clear, still NED!
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