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12-17-2007, 01:06 PM
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#1
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: RHODE ISLAND
(Ed getting me a latte on 2nd Cancerversary Cruise 2008)
'BELIEVE': To accept as true or real, To have faith in, To presume
ALWAYS BELIEVE
Posts: 3,000
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~Just For BILL~Our Dear Nicola's Husband
Bill I wanted to take a moment and thank you for continuing to come here, all while dealing with the loss of our Dear Angel, Nicola. There is no argument here when saying how deeply this Sweetheart changed my life just being able to love and learn from her. You have read her posts and although you know how much she loved you, the depth of that love was admirable to all. I am so lucky to have had her in my life and I feel I can speak for the other family members here too. She was brave as she trudged forward with her fights and we are so blessed to have had her touch our lives.
With the holidays around the corner I needed you to know YOU will be in our hearts & prayers shall flow just as the tears I shall cry remembering how she found her way deep into my heart and soul. Thanks for coming here to the place she called home, talking to the people she called family. My vigils for our Lost Warriors now include another loved one, my Nicola. She is watching over all of us and smiling down upon us with the brilliant smile that always spoke a thousands words.
My sister's here set up a 'Spa Fund' for me (a caregiver) to go relax at a spa out west. Nicola wanted to go so badly and really could not wait, she was so excited. Whenever she mentioned the spa her voice lit up. She wanted to match and challenge someone else's donation to me. She never really had the time to send it because she became so ill. But her generosity does not end there...
....See Bill, as a tribute to Nicola my Mighty Oak Ed is going to put in Nicola's donation with the strict rule that I shall pamper myself 'In Memory' of this Sweet Angel. He wants me to go to relax and the donation is to go to something enjoyable that we were going to do together. Although Nicola is busy watching over us all she is coming to the spa with me. I am going to do all the things she yearned for and while I do I promise you that she will be in my heart. I shall carry Nicola to the spa she was so desperate to visit, for I know that her memories will be the best therapy I could ever dream of.
So thanks Bill for coming here and for sharing your life with us. And Bill, I am honored to have loved her; some people travel a lifetime and never get the blessings of meeting a True Angel. Truely blessed>>Believe51
__________________
9/7/06Husband 50yrs=StageIV IBC/HER2+,BoneMets10/06TaxotereX10,'H'1X wk,Zometa,Tamoxifen4/12/07Last Tax5/18/07Pet=Rapid Cell Activity,No Organ Mets,Lytic Lesions,Degeneration,Some Bone Repair5/07ChemoFail6/01/07Pleural Thoracentisis=Effusions,NoMalignantCells6/19/07+7/2/07DFCI
6/25/07BrainMRI=BrainMets,Many<9mm7/10/07WBR/PelvisRad37.5Gx15&Nutritionist8/19/07T/X9/20/07BrainMRI=2<2mm10/6/07Pet=BoneProgression
10/24/07ChemoFail11/9/07A/Cx10,EndTam12/7/07Faslodex12/10/07Muga7512/13/07BlasticLesions1/7/08BrainMRI=Clear4/1/08Pet=BoneImprovement,
NoProgression,Stable4/7/08BrainPerfect5/16/08Last A/C8/26/08BrainMets=10(<9mm)9/10/08Gamma10/30/08Met=5mm12/19/08Gamma5mets5
12/22/08SpinalMets1/14/09SpinalRads2/17/09BrainMRI=NoNewMets4/20/09BoneScan5/14/09Ixempra6/1/09BrainMRI=NumerousMets6/24/09DFCIw/DrBurstein6/26/09Continue
Ixempra/Faslodex/Zometa~TM now lower7/17/09Stop Ixempra By Choice9/21/09HOSPICE10/16/09Earned His Deserved Wings And Halo=37 Month Fight w/Stage 4 IBC, Her2+++,My Hero!!
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12-18-2007, 07:13 PM
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#2
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 2,077
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Hi Marie! Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers. The words escape me, but I can feel the emotion coming through in your words. Nikki and I spoke often of her friends on this site, and as I spend more time here, the memories start to "click" back into place. Yes, she did want to go on the spa trip, she was excited, but despite our best efforts here, things got out of control. She is watching over us all. Love, Bill
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12-19-2007, 08:12 AM
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#3
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: San Antonio, TX
Posts: 2,357
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Bill, Nicola was one of the very special ones who "lifted others up" by her kindness and wisdom. She brought sunshine in to some very dark moments for us. God bless you for continuing to allow us to have a bit of Nikki through you. ma
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MA in TX.
Grateful for each and every day....
Diag. 12/05 at age 60
Stage II, Grade 3, 4.5 cm primary tumor
ER/PR- Her2 +3 strongly positive
Her2 by FISH 7.7 amplified
vascular invasion
Ki67 20% borderline
Jan - March '06 Taxotere/Adriamycin X 3 to try to shrink tumor - it grew
April '06 Rt Modified Radical Mas, 7 of 9 nodes positive
April - Aug. '06 Herceptin/Taxol/Carboplatin X 8 (dose dense)
Sept - Dec. '06 Navelbine/Herceptin x 8 (dose dense)
Radiation & Herceptin Jan. 22 - March 1, 2007
Finished Herceptin Dec. 10 '08! One extra year.
Port removed August, 2012.
8 1/2 years since diagnosis! 5 1/2 Years NED!
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12-22-2007, 09:52 PM
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#4
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 2,077
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Thanks again, Mary Anne. The support here that I've gotten from you all is overwhelming. Words cannot convey how much it means to me that you all loved her so much. She truly was an angel among us. Love, Bill
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12-23-2007, 08:57 PM
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#5
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,756
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Bill, I just went back into the archives and found Al's post showing some of Nicola's art, and re-read some of her thoughts about life, cancer and her best friend (you). You really did share your life with an angel on earth. I think she thought the same of you.
Blessings on you and your family this Christmas season, although I know it will be bittersweet. You have the peace of knowing she's at rest.
<3 Lolly
__________________
Sept.'99 - Dx.Stage IIIB, IDC ER/PR-, HER2+++ by IHC, confirmed '04 by FISH. Left MRM, AC x's 4, Taxol x's 4, 33 Rads, finishing Tx May 2000. Jan.'01 - local/regional recurrence, Stage IV. Herceptin/Navelbine weekly till NED August 2001, then maintenance Herceptin. Right Mast. April 2002. Local/Regional recurrence April '04, Herceptin plus/minus chemo until May '07. Gemzar added from Feb.'07-April '07; Tykerb/Abraxane until August '07, back on Herceptin plus Taxotere and Xeloda Sept. '07. Stopped T/X Nov. '07, stopped Herceptin Dec. '07, started Avastin/Taxol/Carboplatin Dec. '07. Progression in chest skin, stopped TAC March '03, started radiation.
Herceptin has served as the "Backbone" of my treatment strategy for over 6 years, giving me great quality of life. In 2005, I was privileged to participate in the University of Washington/Seattle HER2 Vaccine Trial.
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12-24-2007, 09:24 PM
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#6
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 2,077
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Thank you Lolly, and all the rest of you who have offerred such sweet words of support to me. Yes, Nikki and I felt truly blessed to be together. She was so talented in so many ways, a woodcarver, painter, a poet, an excellent writer, I taught her to play chess (I've played over 2000 games and won most) and in no time she was beating me 2 games out of 3, lol. Everything she did seemed to be inspired. I miss her terribly, but we agreed that we were fortunate to be together and that I was able to be here with her every day for the last 5 months she was here. I could go on and on about how wonderful and sweet she was, but you all knew her almost as well as I did. She loved you all. Please have a Merry Christmas! Love, Bill
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