had scans today

[Joy]

Boy how things have changed in such a short time. I hadn't had a PET/CT in a long time. The last I did was in one of those trailers that was dank with a really ugly easy chair and heinous bad paneling and no bathroom. AND you had to have your arms 'tied' above your head for 45 minutes til your shoulders cramped. I remember the last 5 minutes seemed like years. I always kinda wondered if it wasn't tech humor behind the torture.

So now we have our own PET center in Ft. Fun. It is swanky. Comfy chair, rooms with big windows and I got to watch a DVD of "Everybody Loves Raymond" on HD TV. This is a treat to someone who has not had television for 11 years. My TV is tiny and we just watch the occasional dvd. Oh, and really good looking, funny techs who are quite smart-bonus. Then the PET/CT part was only 25 minutes, 2 warm blankies and my arms at my sides, I even dozed off-woo hoo.

The most hilarious part was my 'parting gift'. I got a gift bag (purple tissue and everything). The guy said, "Here is a drink and a snack". I got in my car and cracked up! There was a bottle of water-great and the snack was Keebler frosted animal cookies! I felt like recess would be next. There was, though, a beautiful book of quotes in there too.


Anyway, I have a regular CT with IV contrast scheduled for next Monday. I don't meet with my doc until a week from Thursday and I realized I don't even want the results. I mean, I know I have to get them, but I'm not chomping at the bit to get them the way I used to. It feels a little weird, but good, I think. The last couple of years I have lived results to results and I vowed I would not this year. Gina's story in her post kind of shored that up for me. My only anxiety now is when the phone rings, which happens A LOT. I just hate it when a doc calls and my hope is that there is no call and that results are good enough that it can all wait until the 8th.

So, of course, I'm asking you guys to think the happy thoughts that I know you do and for which I am always so grateful.


I would love to stay on navelbine. I really want to get my new hair highlighted and cut before my New Orleans trip March 28th. But I'm waiting until results. I wish I were gutsy enough to just do it and say even if the results stink I will approach this w/out chemo i.e. SIR or tykerb/herceptin (approval of tykerb would HELP) or adding avastin.

I want to stay excited about New Orleans.

My ex-husband and I still go on family vacations with our kids and we are thinking about a houseboat trip this summer -our 10 year old's request. I'd like to stay excited about that too.


My best friend of over 20 years has been in South America and when she returns she is thinking of hanging out here with us for awhile and working in Ft. Collins and I want that to be great too.


I would also like to get 'well' and work again. My family 'forbade' me after I started Taxol/Carbo last year as they wanted me to focus on health and kids. But I'm motivated to earn some money myself and I pledged money to our little private school that desperately needs it in order for me to stay focused and be positive. I have to make good on that.

And, most importantly, as so many know for yourselves, my kids need a mom. I'm not the best mom ever, but I sure try hard and I love doing it.


Oh and again, a date would be nice in the future too.


Okay, I have shared an awful lot-sorry. All I really wanted was some extra good thoughts from you, who understand all of this better than anyone. Love to you all.

[sassy]

Joy,

Keeping good thoughts going your way. And I have no doubt your kids know you ARE the BEST MOM! How could they not--you're their MOM!

Hoping all the good things come true...
________
Marijuana Bubbler

[MJo]

How exciting that you are going to NOrleans. I've always wanted to go there and it is definitely on my "must do" list. Women on this board are so interesting. Taking regular vacations with an ex husband and a potential houseboat trip. Sounds like a book to me.

[Barbara H.]

Hi Joy,
I was happy to hear that you had a much better experience with your PET-CT scan. I hope it turns out well and that you can stay on Navelbine or a drug with few side effects. My thoughts are with you and I wish you a great trip to New Orleans.
Barbara H.

[rinaina]

You have my prayers and only good thoughts. What do you mean you aren't the best mom. I can tell from your posts the type of person you are. You are humorous, sensitive, caring, considerate, kind and so on...if these aren't characteristics of a good mom, then I don't know what is. All this and a single mom to boot always continuing the fight against cancer. You are one strong woman and an inspiration to us all. Here's hoping for that highlighted hair before your New Orleans trip. I know there are many dates out there for you. You are too cute for the men to pass up and more importantly to good of a person for them to miss out on.

[Andi]

Joy - here's thinking positive thoughts for your test results. I hope you can stay on Navelbine. I agree with rinaina - you are a good mom - it difinitely comes through in your posts, as does your sensitivity and good humor. You sound like such a strong woman and a real fighter - two very key ingredients in fighting b/c and hanging around for a very long time. You certainly keep me inspired! As always, you are in my prayers.

[kareneg]

HI Joy,

Get your hair highlighted and have a great time in New Orleans! You sound so much like myself I don;t want to know any test results at all, but we both know thats not going to happen, And I enjoy the view when I go for my cat scans the techs are very pleasing to the eyes lol. Joy you have all my well wishes and prayers. Have a great trip!

[chrisy]

Joy - I loved reading your post (I always love reading your posts!)

You are so right to be wanting all those good things - and I will continue to send good thoughts and prayers your way. It is so hard to stay postive, but you have such a great way to find and enjoy the positives, even when you're down. You made me want to go to Ft. Collins for a PET scan - wow - goody bags AND smart, good looking nice techs!

Much love and I'll be watching for your full report!
Chris

[Joy]

you are all so great. Thank you so much for your thoughts and wishes. Still a little nervous these days. And very focused on the aches and pains-you know how it is. I can't separate what is real, concerning, imagined, etc. I make myself crazy.

Wow, I just looked out the window and we have quite a snowfall coming down-just about over the winter thing.

Chrisy-you come to Ft. Collins and we can have scan fun!

Seriously to all, May in Ft. Collins is usually so beautiful. The flowers are gorgeous, the sky is so blue, the vibe is happy. We have canyons and rivers and great coffee shops. So if anyone ever wanted to visit, my door is open.

[tricia keegan]

I'll be thinking only good results for you!
Your scans sound soo luxurious though compared to mine which is a dull hospital room with usually even duller staff lol!
As for the hair..GO FOR IT AND DO IT!!
While you're feeling so good why not, and have a wonderful trip.
Think only positive thoughts and I hope you get all you dream of!
Tricia

[Jeanette]

Good luck on your test results. I go for an Ultra sound guide biopsy tomorrow, so hope things go well there.

[Vi Schorpp]

The very best of luck to you Joy...I think it speaks volumes that you can vacation with your ex...yes the kids' priorities are taken care of that way, but it takes strong people to do that. The two of you (and your kids) will always share a history, so let family vacations be a part of those memories.

You have a very giving and caring persona about you...I wish a date for you very soon....maybe its in New Orleans you are supposed to meet, who knows?

[Vanessa]

Best wishes on your scans. I am sending positive vibes your way and saying lots of prayers. I had a petscan last Thursday and still had to put my arms on a pillow on my forehead. Keep up posted!

[Sandy H]

You are a special Mom! Your children will appreciate you doing things with them and their Dad and I assume they are your children's Dad. Some day they will thank you for that realizing it may not be that easy to do. You sound like such a caring and fun person. Would love to meet you some time. Have a wonderful time in New Orleans. I was there in January and took the city tour which I really enjoyed and learned so much. It was hard for us to drive around in the city so many one way streets. The tour guide told us everyone gets lost because its not south, north, east or west like on the map its up river, down river this side and the other side for directions!!! Sending you a hug that all will be well with your scan results. Sandy

[MGordon]

Gotta say it - if your scans did not reveal the biggest heart in Colorado - go back!

Love and Light
mel

[Carolyns]

Hi Joy,

Add me to the list of folks on you fan list and those who are thinking happy thoughts for you as requested. I hope that you have a great vacation in New Orleans with your beautiful newly highlighted hair!

Love, peace, and hope,

Carolyns

[lindaw]

Dear Joy


Wishing you all the best for your scans. fingers crossed.

love
linda

[vickie h]

Joy, I am praying your scans come back clear. You are such an inspiration to us all, always sharing such kind words and thoughts. Your children sound so wonderful and I think it is so great that you and your ex can do things together with them. This is the day that counts, the moment that stands still for us. I am looking outside at the cold breeze on the sunlit trees and sending you my heartfelt thank yous for all you have done for your sisters here at this website. Your name says it all....you are a joy to each and everyone of us. Have the most wonderful time on your vacation and hold those children so close....Good loving thoughts from California, Vickie

[lexigirl]

Joy,

Just seeing your sweet smiling face makes me smile! I pray that your scans look great and that you are able to have a wonderful time w/ your family.

Hugs,
Lexi

[Soccermom]

Smiles and fingers crossed from me also,Joy!
Make sure you have beignets and coffee at the Cafe du Monde.in NOLA..not to be missed! The weather is quite warm down here in Dixie,but the nights can be cool, check the forecast in advance!

Hugs,Marcia