Suggestions on working

[naturaleigh]

Hey folks,

When I was dx November 2005, I worked until my surgery in December 2005. I started my chemo treatments in jan 06 and stayed out of work for 6 months. When I went back, I went back 3 days a week (I am still on weekly Herceptin until early May). These 3 days are enough for me. Everyone is awaiting the arrival of May so that my life can go back to normal. Question 1: Does your life ever go back to normal?

My stomach goes into knots when I start thinking of going back to work full time. Everyone tells me I have to go back, (I have 7 yrs, 2 months before I can start getting my full retirement.) My job has been exceptionally good to me and as everyone here knows, I need my insurance. My mind and body are telling me to get a parttime job. My wallet, Doctor and hospital bills, insurance and friends and family are telling me I need to stay put.

Is anyone here experiencing the same feelings. What did you all do concerning work. My doctor told me I have 5 - 10 yrs survival rate, I am down a year, so if she is right, I am down 4 - 9 yrs. I would love to get a night time job, so I can have my days to walk, so I can prove my doctor wrong. I am also single, low income. Right now my cancer insurance is pulling me through. Don't mean to be whinning, would just like some feedback.

Thanks

[chrisy]

Hmmmm.

What is "normal"??

I think that after treatment your life finds a new normal. Different than before cancer, but not revolving around the disease and treatment. In the new normal life, you can do and have most if not all of what you had before, but your perspective on things may have changed.

I couldn't tell from your posts exactly what your diagnosis was, but it seemed that you had early stage disease with no node involvement and (I assume) no metastasis. If I'm guessing this right, then I wonder if you misunderstood your oncologist's "5-10 year" survival comment. It would seem to me given your diagnosis that you would have a good prognosis, meaning high chance of passing the 2 benchmark points, 5 and 10 years! So now after a year, you have 4 and 9 years left until you get to declare VICTORY over it.

You didn't say exactly why your stomach is in knots. Is it the idea of working 40 hours? Working THERE? Or feeling trapped by the "golden handcuffs" of insurance, retirement, bla bla bla? I've been there from time to time, especially the latter - it's a real issue for most of us.

For me, I couldn't wait to get back to work - and in fact worked almost entirely through my chemo because my workplace was such a strong source of support, and I was lucky to have an easy time with chemo. Of course, there were, and are those "what was I thinking!?" moments...

Sounds like you have some time to decide. If you need a change or just need more time to recover. Take this opportunity to explore your dreams, and your options before you jump back in 100%. This is your life, and only you can make the decisions about how you want to live it.

take care
Chris

[MCS]

I was working extremely long hours at work ( past 11pm), I'm an accountant and was at a high visibiliy job in the entertainment industry. I really think that the stress was a big part of my bc.

Anyway, I took short term disability and as soon as it was over, I was moved out. Great payback? They would not have been a great support base anyway.

I really didi not want to go back to this job. I would like to go to work and try to get some normality. But who would hire some one at my age now, 51!

I agree with Crissy, normal is different now, not the one before. You probably value life a lot more now, obviously, otherwise you would not even look at taking off to enjoy it, right?

I got a a bit scared at the the 5 and 10 year mark too that you mention and I too have it in the back of my mind. I would like to see my daughters settled and on their own and that's why bc scares me- I will not have this.

Anyway, put the numbers down on paper. I sound like a bean counter, don't I? At least, it would show concretely whether you can afford to do this or not. It sounds like you need to stay for the insurance. ask about slowly getting back in. 4 hours, 6 hours etc.

also ask human resources what is the min number of hours needed at your job to keep the benefits and if they would allow a 6 hour day for more months after May.

Good luck. I think that women that work thru going chemo and treatment are heroes. Deal with work and family and health.

XOXO

MCS ( maria)

[chrisy]

Once a beancounter, always a beancounter, like me! Nice thanks from your employer.

I was working 50-60 hours per week - not during chemo of course. I also had a good shift in life priorities and after 27 years of talking about getting life balance, I finally started doing something about it. With my boss's support, I "took back" a day and a half a week and now work a flex schedule which gives me Wednesday afternoons and Fridays to be "out in the world" and keeps me down to, well, a 40 hour work week. I have yet to put pencil to paper on how I could pull back further, but so far it works for me.

Naturaleigh - figure out on paper, and especially in your heart, what you want. The door will open up for you somehow.

Chris

[SusanV]

Naturaleigh,

It is a difficult decision for sure, and a personal choice for everyone. I have always LOVED my job...not the job exactly, but the sense of importance it makes me feel...valued I guess. During my initial days of dx, I took off 6 weeks to screw my head back on properly and to get through my lumpectomy. I did start back to work, and worked through chemo. I would get chemo on Monday and be at work on Tuesday. My job is very demanding, and I travel to 8 different accounts each week....BUT I have to say thank goodness for my job through all of this. The dust has settled for everyone I work with as it relates to "Oh my gosh she has cancer", and now everyone treats me NORMAL. That is the one thing I crave most...Just want things to be back to NORMAL. Although I know that can never truly be...It is great to pretend Monday-Friday.


And oh yes, there is the thing called the paycheck. My husband has great health benefits, but I make alot more money than he does, so calling it quits wasn't an option for that reason either. You may, like me,find going back to work a great distraction from all of this. Sometimes still, I get depressed over the weekends, because my mind is not occupied enough. It was very difficult at first coming back, just dealing with the seeing everyone...wearing a wig...telling the story a million times, etc...but I am sure glad to be back.

Good luck with your decision..it will all work out for the best !

[Shell]

naturaleligh-


chris and maria have said it well - it's a new normal - i worked through chemo, as much to keep things normal for my girls (5 and 7 at the time). i am a partner in a law firm, and had great partners who told me just to do whatever i could and to keep my health as the top priority...

regards,

[naturaleigh]

Thanks for the replys ladies, you gals are awesome!!

[bobbiw]

NaturaleighWe were diagnosed and began treatments at almost the same time. Pre diagnosis I loved my job and gave it more than 100% but I was let go after my FMLA ran out (was still doing chemo and could not go back to the high stres job), I have not worked since. I totally understand where you are coming from. Doesnt it seem that fighting this beast is sometimes the easy part, it's the other 'stuff' that we have to deal with that gets difficult.
At this point it scares me to even think about learning a new job skill, going into a new environment and being able to perform as I once used to. I have some cognitive stuff going on that wouldnt allow me to jump right back in although I would like to.
Anyway, good luck to you and your decision. And yes, normal is now very different than it once was isnt it? I have no words of wisdom just want to offer my support.
Bobbi

[Stephanie B.]

I was diagnosed while we were closed for Christmas. I took off work long enough to have surgery and recooperate. I then when back a couple of days a week for a month. After that I went back full time except for chemo weeks and then got chemo on Monday and worked Thurs-Sat. I was lucky that I was salary at the time and they paid me the entire time both while I was off and while I was part time. The Race track I was working for at the time closed, but I was lucky enough to find a great job with some people I met through my last job who knew my situation and are just as supportive. Now that I am back on weekly Herceptin indefinitly they are great to work around my appointments. I found that working kept my mind off of my cancer and kept me going.