Here I go being Silly AGAIN!!!!

Well, this year has been an experience! At 33 I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Breast Cancer, and I am half way through Radiation. My doctor after my second surgery, told my mom my cancer being the bitter, evil and can't leave out wicked little HER2 bug was pretty aggressive, and since it had spread ONLY (thank goodness) to the nodes, that I not being diagnosed quickly (Mamogram came back clean, did the biopsy thinking it was to remove a CYST!) that I may not be here at Christmas. Well it is Christmas now, and I am just pooped. I went to Disneyland last weekend, and CRIED like a BABY at the Fireworks. I have never been a heart on my sleeve kinda gal, although many knew when I was upset with them. I guess just never tears.
I am not sure if I am just tired as I am now working like 40 hours a week while going through the radiation, working Security in Retail so that alone right now is horrible. I just really want to snuggle up on the couch this Christmas with my honey and be thankful that I am here. I dont want a lot of hoopla or bells and whistles, I just want to get through treatment.
I know I have ALOT to be thankful for and I appreciate all my family and friends, but I am not through this yet. I kinda want me time... how selfish am I being????

Shannon,

Just like you, I continued to work my regular schedule through my 4 rounds of A/C and my 30 radiation treatments. For me it was like therapy because I knew I would have just stayed and home and felt sorry for myself if I hadn't been busy working. How many other people could do what you're doing? It takes real strength to get up and get going everyday - it would be easier to stay in bed and pull the covers over your head.

I'm sure the radiation is playing a big part in how you feel. It's very hard for someone who has never gone through this to understand "fatigue" and how many ways it can affect your life. Probably most of us who come to this site have been through it and understand very well how you're feeling. I remember but, for me, it was two years ago. Today I am NED and feeling better than ever.

Hope today finds you feeling good. Have a wonderful holiday!

Peggy in Orlando

Hello Shannon

Sorry you have been thru the year from hell, i too have had many a day where i have just cried and cried over stupid things this past year
I was diagnosed stage2 her2+++ 7/14 nodes positive, age 32, had all the nasty treatment and now 16 months on i am entering some level of normailty.
I was just wondering how come your oncologist was so negative about you being here for xmas??
You are stage 3 right? i thought that was totally curable? how come he was being so despondant?
I know that her2 is a negative factor in prognosis, but to say something like that to your mum is pretty grim considering many many stage 3 ladies survive for years.
I hope you are well, and a very merry xmas to you, and a very healthy 2005.
Love Nikki

Hi Shannon- you are not being silly- I hope the coming year brings better ththings for you- I too as many of us, have had our "meltdowns" It is impossible to go through what we all are and not have them periodically. I think we are more than entitled! Try to relax, enjoy the holiday. Fatigue is very common. I had WBR in Sept of 2003 and was dragging for the whole month! God bless and keep your hope up- it will get better! Patty D

Shannon,

Be Seflish, It's time for you. Don't feel bad about it. Take in the Holidays with your loved ones and snuggle up someone special and make it one to remember. Next year you'll be back on the party circuit, going to all these Christmas parties and it will be a whole other experience. Take Care k

[Lolly]

Well, I don't consider it selfish to want a little time for yourself. It sounds like you are incredibly busy, and going through treatment to boot it's about time you DID take a little break and just do what YOU want for a couple of days. You deserve it!

Love, Lolly

SHANNON--YOU ARE NOT BEING SILLY.....BESIDES SILLY IS NICE.........HAPPY HOLIDAYS..........ENJOY..

Ok, this is why I LOVE YOU LADIES... you always know the right thing to say and know exactly how I feel or what I am going through without me even finishing my sentence! I do plan on taking this holiday a little slower and then taking advantage of EVERYTHING that comes my way!

Happy Holidays to all of you!!!

Love, Shan