Is it just me??? - addendum to 6th paragraph

Addition to the end of my 6th paragraph:

"....just go for it!" And at the same time, I STILL want to remain angry!

Does your Dr. have a crystal ball too? Who the heck knows when the good lord decides to take us is. Nobody. That is the truth. My Dr. says it well when he says he has seen the best fair the worst and the worst fair the best. Meaning people he thought would live die and people he thought were going to die live. I think nobody has the right to take away hope from a patient. I do believe they have to tell you your risk so that you can prepare yourself (emotionally, finacially). The truth is you are never prepared for the inevindable. As for working for me it is part of the fight.

Jo Jo,
That is so true. Being a nurse I see it all the time. Someone with stage 1 cancer doesn't make, then someone with cancer all over DOES make it. Cancer does what it wants to do. It does not follow statistics or reason. It treats everyone different. I keep thinking of the cleche everyone uses "if it works for you, you are the 100%" Keep your spirits up and let GOD take your worry. Surrender to him and he will carry that burden for you!!

Jojo,

I'm sorry that I can't say anything to help you feel better, but I hope all of the great stuff that others offered did. I do, however, want to tell you that YOU deserve better than the pessimism that the doc offered you. The one thing you learn from this site is that no rules apply and there is no sure thing of continued recurrances.
I'm sorry that you have to struggle though this.
Best, Eric

Dearest Jojo,

Goodness do you ever have the right to be angry! I was angry right along with you when I read your recurrence post. Just a couple weeks before we had posted and were in the same boat with the year of Herceptin up in Aug, etc. I cried and then started yelling some choice words to cancer in general. But I think with your positive, loving, upbeat attitude this soon will pass and your strength will show again. Give yourself some time to adjust to this new road bump. You deserve to let yourself feel what your feeling. Don't let yourself blame yourself for this. It is NOT your fault. You got on with your life, that didn't cause this recurrence. You must believe that. You must live your life! I have two thoughts on your Onc. - either she is someone who was disappointed in the results and couldn't help how she was feeling or she views the world as half empty, not half full. Maybe she is not an optimistic person in general - not just with your case. Maybe the years of treated cancer have made her view things negatively...who knows. I would think about changing if her attitude remains the same. You need a person that believes in you. We all know there are so many treatments to try. You are just at the beginning of what is available.
Have a wonderful time on your vacation. We all will be thinking of you.
Ruth

You have EVERY right to be upset. No one knows how long we will be around (hopefully a long time) and it makes me so mad when I think the doctors aren't as supportive as I think they should be.

Also, as far as you're doing work and keeping yourself busy, I do the same thing. We all want to be "normal", whatever that is anymore. I still work full time. Sometimes I have to leave to go home and take a nap, but I want to keep doing things that make me feel normal like I used to be.

You go and have yourself a great vacation and come back and pick up the fight when you get back.

hugs,

shelley