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12-15-2007, 07:40 PM
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#1
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 131
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My father died last night
I posted several months ago about my father having mets to the liver and how they had removed a kidney...and almost all of the liver...It started out as colon cancer..I know this is a site for breast cancer, but I feel so helpless right now...so I apologize , if I should not be posting on the breast cancer site... well, he has been very sick , for weeks,....Chemo didn't work for him...
He was sent home by the Dr.from the hospital Monday night.. and hospice has been there since Tuesday.... I am very sad as I post this , because he was such a kind and gentle man.... He didn't have a mean bone in his body....
Please pray for us as we go through this difficult time....
This is a terrible disease that we are fighting.... I have tears in my eyes as I post this... I didn't think I had any tears left.... the funeral will be Tuesday.. the viewing will be Monday night...
By the way, the hospice nurses were wonderful to my father... I am thinking of volunteering after a while at the hospice office. they have been so kind to my father and family..The hospice nurse stayed over 10 hours with him yesterday.. would not leave his side....
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12-15-2007, 08:00 PM
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#2
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Misty woods of WA State
Posts: 4,128
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Very tough loss
Dear Charlotte -
You and I have had a rough year with our fathers being so very ill. I lost mine on Nov. 5, so the ache in my heart is still quite fresh and painful.
Makes these end of the year holidays that much more difficult as the family dynamic changes and reforms itself. I could not do the usual Christmas card letter as there was such a focus on trying to get dad better for so many months that just about everything else fell by the wayside. Not the kind of thing to send out in a holiday note ...
Once you get through the next week, I think you will be feeling a great sense of relief that your father is no longer in a state of suffering. It will sink in, but takes a few days after the initial wave of relief.
Remember to take care of yourself as well.
__________________
"When I hear music, I fear no danger. I am invulnerable. I see no foe. I am related to the earliest times, and to the latest." H.D. Thoreau
Live in the moment.
MY STORY SO FAR ~~~~
Found suspicious lump 9/2000
Lumpectomy, then node dissection and port placement
Stage IIB, 8 pos nodes of 18, Grade 3, ER & PR -
Adriamycin 12 weekly, taxotere 4 rounds
36 rads - very little burning
3 mos after rads liver full of tumors, Stage IV Jan 2002, one spot on sternum
Weekly Taxol, Navelbine, Herceptin for 27 rounds to NED!
2003 & 2004 no active disease - 3 weekly Herceptin + Zometa
Jan 2005 two mets to brain - Gamma Knife on Jan 18
All clear until treated cerebellum spot showing activity on Jan 2006 brain MRI & brain PET
Brain surgery on Feb 9, 2006 - no cancer, 100% radiation necrosis - tumor was still dying
Continue as NED while on Herceptin & quarterly Zometa
Fall-2006 - off Zometa - watching one small brain spot (scar?)
2007 - spot/scar in brain stable - finished anticoagulation therapy for clot along my port-a-catheter - 3 angioplasties to unblock vena cava
2008 - Brain and body still NED! Port removed and scans in Dec.
Dec 2008 - stop Herceptin - Vaccine Trial at U of W begun in Oct. of 2011
STILL NED everywhere in Feb 2014 - on wing & prayer
7/14 - Started twice yearly Zometa for my bones
Jan. 2015 checkup still shows NED
2015 Neuropathy in feet - otherwise all OK - still NED.
Same news for 2016 and all of 2017.
Nov of 2017 - had small skin cancer removed from my face. Will have Zometa end of Jan. 2018.
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12-15-2007, 08:02 PM
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#3
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Northern Calif.
Posts: 981
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Dear Charlotte,
I am so very sorry for your loss. I feel the pain in your post. My eyes are filled with tears for you. Please accept my sympathies and my prayers.
Hugs,
Lexi
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12-15-2007, 08:40 PM
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#4
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: FLORIDA
Posts: 148
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I Am Very Sorry For Your Loss. My Father Passed Last January. One Thing That Has Helped Me Is That I Know My Father Would Want Me To Be Okay & Be Happy. I Will Miss Him Every Day. I Will Say A Prayer For You And Your Family.
__________________
SHEILA (45)
09/2005--BREAST CANCER/8 POS NODES --A/C, MASTECTOMY,TAXOTERE, RADS, TAMOXIFEN,HERCEPTIN
02/2007--B/C METS TO OVARIES--HYSTERECTOMY, FASLODEX
12/2007--ENLARGING LYMPH NODES IN ABDOMEN--IXEMPRA, THEN TYKERB
08/2008--COLON TUMOR--A/C AGAIN,
12/2008--ABDOMEN TUMOR--AVASTIN/NAVELBINE FEMARA
05/2009--MET TO SPINE (L2) RADS
CURRENT TREATMENT
07/2009- START ZOMETA MONTHLY, XELODA & ABRAXANE......SURVIVING THE BEST I CAN
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12-15-2007, 08:44 PM
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#5
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Senior Member
Join Date: May 2006
Location: northshore suburb of chicago
Posts: 1,093
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Charlotte, please accept my most sincere condolences. May you find some comfort in your circle of friends and family. My thoughts are with you at this very difficult time.
__________________
~Rina~
Dx:3/06 had a lumpectomy April 19, 2006
Her2+ er/pr- Stage I Grade 3 tumor size 1.4 cm, node negative
AC 4 dense doses
34 radiation treatments including booster doses
receiving herceptin every 3 weeks since late August 2006 for 12 months
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12-15-2007, 09:40 PM
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#6
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 2,077
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Charlotte, I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. I don't presume to speak for the site, but I am sure that you can come here anytime for help and support. Cancer is cancer, and these women here are among the strongest I've ever seen. Steph, I'm sorry for your loss as well. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Bill
Last edited by Bill; 12-15-2007 at 09:41 PM..
Reason: mis-spelling
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12-15-2007, 10:21 PM
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#7
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,756
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Charlotte, my deepest sympathies for your loss. It's hard to see our parents suffer, and losing them is even harder. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
<3 Lolly
__________________
Sept.'99 - Dx.Stage IIIB, IDC ER/PR-, HER2+++ by IHC, confirmed '04 by FISH. Left MRM, AC x's 4, Taxol x's 4, 33 Rads, finishing Tx May 2000. Jan.'01 - local/regional recurrence, Stage IV. Herceptin/Navelbine weekly till NED August 2001, then maintenance Herceptin. Right Mast. April 2002. Local/Regional recurrence April '04, Herceptin plus/minus chemo until May '07. Gemzar added from Feb.'07-April '07; Tykerb/Abraxane until August '07, back on Herceptin plus Taxotere and Xeloda Sept. '07. Stopped T/X Nov. '07, stopped Herceptin Dec. '07, started Avastin/Taxol/Carboplatin Dec. '07. Progression in chest skin, stopped TAC March '03, started radiation.
Herceptin has served as the "Backbone" of my treatment strategy for over 6 years, giving me great quality of life. In 2005, I was privileged to participate in the University of Washington/Seattle HER2 Vaccine Trial.
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12-15-2007, 10:43 PM
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#8
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 3,519
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Love and blessings to you in your time of loss, Charlotte. If anyone understands your heartbreak at this time, it is this forum of people. Please keep well and know that your father felt (and still feels) every ounce of your love. I know you will miss him, but he will find ways to continue to send his kind and gentle love to you... and you will know it when it happens.
__________________
Brenda
NOV 2012 - 9 yr anniversary
JULY 2012 - 7 yr anniversary stage IV (of 50...)
Nov'03~ dX stage 2B
Dec'03~ Rt side mastectomy, Her2+, ER/PR+, 10 nodes out, one node positive
Jan'04~ Taxotere/Adria/Cytoxan x 6, NED, no Rads, Tamox. 1 year, Arimadex 3 mo., NED 14 mo.
Sept'05~ micro mets lungs/chest nodes/underarm node, Switched to Aromasin, T/C/H x 7, NED 6 months - Herceptin only
Aug'06~ micro mets chest nodes, & bone spot @ C3 neck, Added Taxol to Herceptin
Feb'07~ Genetic testing, BRCA 1&2 neg
Apr'07~ MRI - two 9mm brain mets & 5 punctates, new left chest met, & small increase of bone spot C3 neck, Stopped Aromasin
May'07~ Started Tykerb/Xeloda, no WBR for now
June'07~ MRI - stable brain mets, no new mets, 9mm spots less enhanced, CA15.3 down 45.5 to 9.3 in 10 wks, Ty/Xel working magic!
Aug'07~ MRI - brain mets shrunk half, NO NEW BRAIN METS!!, TMs stable @ 9.2
Oct'07~ PET/CT & MRI show NED
Apr'08~ scans still show NED in the head, small bone spot on right iliac crest (rear pelvic bone)
Sept'08~ MRI shows activity in brain mets, completed 5 fractions/5 consecutive days of IMRT to zap the pesky buggers
Oct'08~ dropped Xeloda, switched to tri-weekly Herceptin in combo with Tykerb, extend to tri-monthly Zometa infusion
Dec'08~ Brain MRI- 4 spots reduced to punctate size, large spot shrunk by 3mm, CT of torso clear/pelvis spot stable
June'09~ new 3-4mm left cerrebellar spot zapped with IMRT targeted rads
Sept'09~ new 6mm & 1 cm spots in pituitary/optic chiasm area. Rx= 25 days of 3D conformal fractionated targeted IMRT to the tumors.
Oct'09~ 25 days of low dose 3D conformal fractionated targeted IMRT to the bone mets spot on rt. iliac crest that have been watching for 2 years. Added daily Aromasin back into treatment regimen.
Apr'10~ Brain MRI clear! But, see new small spot on adrenal gland. Change from Aromasin back to Tamoxifen.
June'10~ Tumor markers (CA15.3) dropped from 37 to 23 after one month on Tamoxifen. Continue to monitor adrenal gland spot. Remain on Tykerb/Herceptin/Tamoxifen.
Nov'10~ Radiate positive mediastinal node that was pressing on recurrent laryngeal nerve, causing paralyzed larynx and a funny voice.
Jan'11~ MRI shows possible activity or perhaps just scar tissue/necrotic increase on 3 previously treated brain spots and a pituitary spot. 5 days of IMRT on 4 spots.
Feb'11~ Enrolled in T-DM1 EAP in Denver, first treatment March 25, 2011.
Mar'11~ Finally started T-DM1 EAP in Denver at Rocky Mountain Cancer Center/Rose on Mar. 25... hallelujah.
"I would rather be anecdotally alive than statistically dead."
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12-16-2007, 05:56 AM
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#9
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Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Massillon, Ohio
Posts: 247
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I am very sorry for your loss, and very glad you shared with us. May God give you strength in spirit during this rough time.
__________________
Laurie
Diagonsed 8/10/06 (found own lump)at 35
Her 2 +++, er-/pr-
4 A/C 8-29-06 to 11-06
Lumpectomy, node dissection- 11/30/06
Pathology report stage IIIC
1 tumor 3 cm
10 of 15 nodes +
12 Taxol 12/18/06-03/06/07
Herceptin 12/18/06- 12/11/2007 done!!! yeah!!!
33 rads started 3/22/07, done!! yeah!! 5/07/07
Lymphedema diagonsed 2/1/07
BRCA1/BRCA2 negative
port out 1/10/08
pregnant after 6 yeas of trying- due mid feb.
Ryder David Kessel Hunter born feb.6th 2009
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12-16-2007, 07:06 AM
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#10
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Poland Ohio just a little south of Youngstown.
Posts: 473
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Charlotte, I am so very sorry to hear this news. Please except my deepest sympathy, I will keep you in my prayers.
__________________
Susan
Age: 61
dx: 5/25/06
2 cm/ 0 nodes
Lumpectomy rt breast on 7/26/06
ER/PR- / Her2+++
A/C x 4
finished taxotere 2/07
finished 33 rads
Herceptin finished 12/07/07 Yippee!
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12-16-2007, 07:32 AM
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#11
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: San Antonio, TX
Posts: 2,357
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Charlotte, I'm so sorry to hear of your father's death. How hard it must be to let him go. I'm so glad that you were blessed by hospice this week with the care that they gave your dad. They truly do know how to care. God bless you and your family during this difficult time. ma
__________________
MA in TX.
Grateful for each and every day....
Diag. 12/05 at age 60
Stage II, Grade 3, 4.5 cm primary tumor
ER/PR- Her2 +3 strongly positive
Her2 by FISH 7.7 amplified
vascular invasion
Ki67 20% borderline
Jan - March '06 Taxotere/Adriamycin X 3 to try to shrink tumor - it grew
April '06 Rt Modified Radical Mas, 7 of 9 nodes positive
April - Aug. '06 Herceptin/Taxol/Carboplatin X 8 (dose dense)
Sept - Dec. '06 Navelbine/Herceptin x 8 (dose dense)
Radiation & Herceptin Jan. 22 - March 1, 2007
Finished Herceptin Dec. 10 '08! One extra year.
Port removed August, 2012.
8 1/2 years since diagnosis! 5 1/2 Years NED!
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12-16-2007, 07:44 AM
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#12
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: moved to Lancaster, Pa in June, 2010
Posts: 576
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Charlotte, Please accept my deepest sympathies in the loss of your father. It is never easy when we lose a parent. He will forever be an angel watching over you.
__________________
Debbie in North Carolina
Diag 10/2006-high grade invasive ductal carcinoma- mastectomy L breast
2.5 cm tumor ER/PR pos-Her2+++
4 rounds A/C, 4 rounds Taxol
Herceptin every 3 weeks until Jan. 2008
6/18/07 prophylatic mastectomy R breast
8/2007 started aromasin/stopped arimidex (side effects)
12/07 stopped aromasin due to side effects (now what?)
Finished herceptin 1/8/08
started tamoxifen for 2 years then will switch to femera
allergic to tamoxifen started femera 4/2008
June 20, 2008 portacath removed
Learnig to live life to the fullest!
Stopped Femera due to side effects
July 28, 2008 start trial for breast cancer vaccine
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12-16-2007, 08:46 AM
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#13
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Acworth, GA
Posts: 2,104
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Charlotte,
Please accept my sincere sympathy on the loss of your father. I lost my father many years ago and I know the pain you feel. Just try and realize he is no longer in pain and is looking over you. I'm happy to know that Hospice was such a help. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Take care of yourself.
__________________
Kate
Stage IIIC Diagnosed Oct 25, 2005 (age 58)
ER/PR-, HER2+++, grade 3, Ploidy/DNA index: Aneuploid/1.61, S-phase: 24.2%
Neoadjunct chemo: 4 A/C; 4 Taxatore
Bilateral mastectomy June 8, 2006
14 of 26 nodes positive
Herceptin June 22, 2006 - April 20, 2007
Radiation (X35) July 24-September 11, 2006
BRCA1/BRCA2 negative
Stage IV lung mets July 13, 2007 - TCH
Single brain met - August 6, 2007 -CyberKnife
Oct 2007 - clear brain MRI and lung mets shrinking.
March 2008 lung met progression, brain still clear - begin Tykerb/Xeloda/Ixempra
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12-16-2007, 11:20 AM
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#14
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 232
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Dear Charlotte,
I am so very sorry for your loss. My dad died in 1991 from lung cancer and I remember how sad I felt. I will pray for you and your family.
Hugs,
Karen
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12-16-2007, 12:32 PM
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#15
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Lincoln, Rhode Island
Posts: 371
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Dear Charlotte,
I am so sorry and you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
__________________
Love and Hope
Karen
IDC
DX 1998 STAGE I ER+/ PR+
AC CHEMO TILL FEB 1999
Tamxofin till 2001
2001 exstensive liver mets and mets to lungs
Started weekly taxol
Jan 2002 found out I was strongly HER2POS+++ started herceptin continued with taxol and herceptin till June 2002 then from June 2002 till Jan 2005 just herceptin and Arimidex
2005 Navelbine herceptin had RFA Then back on taxol with herceptin
April 2006 progression again went on clinical trial with tykrerb/herceptin progressed on the started Xeloda/ herceptin
Feb 2007 started Doxil
August 2007 Taxotere,Carboplatin and Herceptin exstensive mets to liver and pancreas
October 2007 Had to stop Carboplatin due to sever allergic reaction
Jan 2008
Stopped Taxotere due to progression now on Gemzar and Herceptin
March 2008 Starting Carboplatin, Abraxane, and Herceptin.
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12-16-2007, 12:37 PM
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#16
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Thornhill, Ontario
Canada
Posts: 2,320
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Dear Charlotte,
Sorry for your loss. My darling father passed away in 1991 from a heart attack at age 59. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of him.
all the best
caya
__________________
ER90%+/PR 50%+/HER 2+
1.7 cm and 1.0 cm.
Stage 1, grade 2, Node Negative (16 nodes tested)
MRM Dec.18/06
3 x FEC, 3 x Taxotere
Herceptin - every 3 weeks for a year, finished May 8/08
Tamoxifen - 2 1/2 years
Femara - Jan. 1, 2010 - July 18, 2012
BRCA1/BRCA2 Negative
Dignosed 10/16/06, age 48 , premenopausal
Mild lymphedema diagnosed June 2009 - breast surgeon and lymph. therapist think it's completely reversible - hope so.
Reclast infusion January 2012
Oopherectomy October 2013
15 Years NED!!
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12-16-2007, 12:54 PM
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#17
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Mountains of Virginia
Posts: 2,267
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Charlotte,
Losing a parent is so difficult. They are such a part of our foundation, that we are left feeling somewhat weakened by their passing. But our strength can be found in the life and love that they gave to us, and their spirit that will always remain a part of our lives.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
__________________
Rhonda (Sassy)
dx age 45
DX 2/15/05 Stage IIb (at surgery)restaged IIIa
Left mast .9cm tumor 5 of 14 nodes
Triple Positive
4 DD A/C
12 Taxol/Herceptin
33Rads
Strange infect mast site one year aft surg, hosp 1 wk
Herceptin for total of 18 months
Lupron Monthly 4 yrs
Neurontin for aches, pains and hot flashes(It works!)
Ovaries removed 11/09 stop Lupron and Neurontin
Arimidex 6 yrs (tried Femara, no SE improvement)
Tried Exemestane-hips got so bad could hardly walk
Back to Arimidex for year seven
Zometa 2X Annual for 7years, Lasix
Stop Arimidex 5/13
Stop Zometa 7/13-Bi-lateral Stress Fractures in Femurs from Zometa
5/14 Start Tamoxifen
3/15 Stem cell transplant to stimulate femur bone growth/healing
5/15 Complete fracture of right femur/Titanium rods both femurs
9/16 Start Evista stopTamoxifen
3/17 Stop Evista--unwelcome side effects!
NED and no meds.......
14 YEARS NED!
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12-16-2007, 01:23 PM
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#18
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 869
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My heartfelt sympathies to you. I lost my dad in 2002-I think of him everyday. in time, your pain will ease. May God Bless. Ceesun
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12-17-2007, 10:57 AM
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#19
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: RHODE ISLAND
(Ed getting me a latte on 2nd Cancerversary Cruise 2008)
'BELIEVE': To accept as true or real, To have faith in, To presume
ALWAYS BELIEVE
Posts: 2,999
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Dear Charlotte...
Please accept my condolences for the loss of your Angel Father, my heart goes out to your entire family. I shall keep you in our prayers as your family and you move forward through this very difficult time. Sassy made me cry reading her post, it really hit home as I read it and I could have not said it better. May you find comfort with what he has left you all with and may his many wonderful memories keep him alive in your hearts & minds forever. Prayers and Blessings coming your way. As far as volunteering, I think it is a magnificent way to give back and to keep Dad's spirit circulating. I am sure he would be so honored to see you doing that in his memory!! Love & hugs>>Believe51
__________________
9/7/06Husband 50yrs=StageIV IBC/HER2+,BoneMets10/06TaxotereX10,'H'1X wk,Zometa,Tamoxifen4/12/07Last Tax5/18/07Pet=Rapid Cell Activity,No Organ Mets,Lytic Lesions,Degeneration,Some Bone Repair5/07ChemoFail6/01/07Pleural Thoracentisis=Effusions,NoMalignantCells6/19/07+7/2/07DFCI
6/25/07BrainMRI=BrainMets,Many<9mm7/10/07WBR/PelvisRad37.5Gx15&Nutritionist8/19/07T/X9/20/07BrainMRI=2<2mm10/6/07Pet=BoneProgression
10/24/07ChemoFail11/9/07A/Cx10,EndTam12/7/07Faslodex12/10/07Muga7512/13/07BlasticLesions1/7/08BrainMRI=Clear4/1/08Pet=BoneImprovement,
NoProgression,Stable4/7/08BrainPerfect5/16/08Last A/C8/26/08BrainMets=10(<9mm)9/10/08Gamma10/30/08Met=5mm12/19/08Gamma5mets5
12/22/08SpinalMets1/14/09SpinalRads2/17/09BrainMRI=NoNewMets4/20/09BoneScan5/14/09Ixempra6/1/09BrainMRI=NumerousMets6/24/09DFCIw/DrBurstein6/26/09Continue
Ixempra/Faslodex/Zometa~TM now lower7/17/09Stop Ixempra By Choice9/21/09HOSPICE10/16/09Earned His Deserved Wings And Halo=37 Month Fight w/Stage 4 IBC, Her2+++,My Hero!!
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12-20-2007, 08:03 AM
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#20
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 131
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First thanks to all for posting in response to this....We buried my father Tuesday.. My mother is like in a daze, but she does have and will have the rest of the family's support..
I come to this site for comfort, to ask questions and for the vast knowledge of information that is shared ...
By way, I have not find the book from hospice that was mentioned in one of the posts.. I will see if I can find it soon... If not , I will go to the hospice office and ask for it .
Thanks again to all, it brought me a lot of comfort and caring to read all the posts...
Last edited by charlotte; 12-20-2007 at 08:33 AM..
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