My Profile/ Its Scary

dawn · 07-13-2006, 10:11 AM

Thanks Wendy, Its posts from people like yourself that helps continue and instill hope in us all. If we didn't have hope what would we have. Im taking that firm stand that Im going to raise my kids up and beat this thing or the next best thing to beating it. The drug manufacturers, govenment, health care makes so much money of these drugs and treatments. It just infuriates me, that someone has to do without because of money. When in the greater scheme of things money is the least important. Health, Happiness, Family and Friends! I did my 5th chemo today, not feeling too bad just a little tired. One more to go ! Yes!
All the best
DAwn

cgregor · 07-16-2006, 02:23 PM

Just discovered this website and decided to respond to your particular email given our kindred Canadian connection, albeit I am communicating from the west coast (Vancouver) and not the east coast (although I did visit Newfoundland last year and loved it). I was 45 when I was diagnosed in Dec 2001 (Xmas eve) with Stage IIIa, HER2, er+ (weak response) , 5 cm tumor, and 6/11 positive lymph nodes. Had 3 surgeries, chemo and radiation. Fast forward 4 1/2 years and so far so good -no signs of recurrence. I did not receive Herceptin at the time because it was not widely used as an adjuvant treatment in Canada, excepting people on clinical trials... so others like you who receive herceptin will have even better odds than me.
I thought that I was "toast" when I was diagnosed and started preparing a list of "suitable" available women for my husband when I was gone

. I am thrilled to still be here and am grateful for this gift of time, no matter how long it might be. My experience with a life-threatening disease has had a tremendous impact on my life - it has helped me address my fears (I lost my mother to cancer when she was 56), clarify my priorities, make the most of every day, and open my heart to others. I wish that this had not happened to me - denial of my mortality was more fun

but I know that I have a much deeper appreciation of my life, and of my relationships than I had in the past. I am hopeful that I am around for many more years to take advantage of this "new" insight and encourage you to keep hoping as well..Carla
PS I am turning 50 later this year and am thrilled to bits. I cannot understand how anyone can be sad about such an awesome milestone.

dawn · 07-17-2006, 12:38 PM

So good to hear from you especially today. Im having one of my blah days today. Just finished my 5th chemo 4 days ago and still smelling the chemicals. But cant get my mortality out of my head or let go of the fact that someone else could possibly raise my 5 year old son, and 2 year old daughter. Im having a weeping afternoon and this morning in the shower it was an all out ball fest, with hysterics included. I must admit I did feel a little better after but this breast cancer thing really makes you wake up and face life. So of course, I went to my lawyers office, got a copy of my will, updated it for my childrens sake. I have a sister, who has been my angel since this whole thing started and of course my children think of her as another mommy. I know she will always be here for my kids and treat them like I do, but there are just days you cant get past it. All this pessimisim is coming from a woman who just got all her scans and results back, all clear, nothing showing anywhere but Im having a GOSH IM SCARED TO DEATH day. More for what I'll miss with my children, than anything. Wow, 10 years ago, you would have been talking to a self centered, I don't care about anyone else in the world only myself, person. Now look at me! Anyway, had to get this off my chest, blub, blub, blub. Im hoping I can follow in your footsteps and many like you and look at my children 5 years from now and say. Thank You God, I've gotten them this far, Im so blessed. All we can do I guess, is hope and Pray and put it in gods hands.