Those with small children..

[Carol H]

I read your message and it was like listening to myself - I am also 37 and I have a Daughter aged 9 and a son aged 7 - they were only 3 yrs old and 18 months old when I was originally diagnosed and for about 1 year I though I was cured but sadly the cancer came back - I won't bore you with all treatment and surgery details but my cancer has spread to my bones and remaining breast but receive weekly herceptin intravenously and every 4 wks Pimmidrante which strengthens my bones - I cope fine and don't have any bad days at all - I just try to shove the cancer to my sub conscious and try to live a normal day with my beautiful children and husband and love the fact Ithere are no side effects to the Herceptin so can walk around with a full head of hair and appear like a healthy young mum - you are right to cherish your children - since the cancer came back I have not told my kids I am 'terminal' and tell them that the cancer cannot be taken away but I am doing really really well andnot to worry about it and if they do to talk to me or their Dad about it and my younger son talks about the cancer as if its like having a common cold and you just get on with it - he doesn't remember life before when I was cancer free as he was only a little baby when I was first diagnosed and has basically had to grow up with it being a large part of his life and is not phased by it - I think it has made my children more understanding and supportive to their friends and other adults - I also wake up every day thanking God I can have another day with my family and yes I also dream of all the things I want to live for to share with the kids - like seeing them go to High School would be marvelous or even better being there for them when they get married 0r the ultimate would be being around to see my grandchildren born - I can but hope - you just never know do you - I was given 10 months to live only 3 years ago and I am still here so keep positive - I find the women with young children who depend on them seem to survive and live a lot longer than all the doctors in the world say they will so keep prving them wrong and enjoy every minute with your lovely kids.

Carol, Dundee, Scotland

[tousled1]

I do not have any young children of my own as mine but do have a 5 year old grandson. I went on disability retirement July 05 and moved to GA to be with my daughter and her family. In Oct 05 I was diagnosed with Stage III her2+++ axillary lymph node involvement. My grandson is the light of my life. When I started neoadjunct chemo I told him that I would probably loose my hair, etc. I have lost my hair, eye lashes, eye brows, etc. My grandson accepts it easily and when he does ask questions I try and answer him as truthfully as I can and at a level he will understand. Children are amazing and instinctively know more than we give them credit for. A positive attitude goes along way in calming a small child. I hope to be around long enough to enjoy my great grandchildren.

[lisahammo]

Hi

I can definitely relate to this topic. I cannot bear to even think about not being here for my 5 y.o. son. We are having trouble with him at school. It is his first year, and he cries each morning, because he misses me during the day. Of course, this makes me think how much worse it would be for him if I wasn't here at all. It just breaks my heart. He is the reason I get up in the mornings, and fight each day.

I find that I have to write things down for him. I am realistic to know that I probably won't be here to share a lot of things with him, so I have to prepare for that. I have written him letters about things that I think he will want my opinion on, such as our IVF treatment, my illness, etc. He can always ask his Dad, but I think it is important that he knows my thoughts. I always feel so much better after writing a letter. They are certainly hard to write, but I do feel a sense of relief after.

Good luck.

Love Lisa