A rough week

Tracy · 11-30-2005, 06:07 PM

I have this on another board, but need as many positive thoughts I can.

I had to have a muga scan today. The girl who put my blood back in me blew 2 veins trying. My arm is killing me. She did it in my left arm and my bc is on the left. I thought it was only bad if you had a mast. I did not so I thought it was ok. Then the man who took my blood came in and did it and told me never to use that arm for blood or anything. I spent 45 minutes on my back on a table for someone who is very small, I was in a pediatric room....I have my 1st chemo tomorrow and I am so scared. Not scared of the chemo, but scared of the scan results I will be getting. I had cat scans and bone scans on Monday. I am having pains all over, feel like it is just traveling through my body and I can not stop it. I know I am grade 3 and her2+ so I know it is aggressive, what I don't know is how aggressive...does it grow tumors in days, weeks, months??? I had to wait 2 weeks after my last surgery to start chemo...I just wonder has it been growing more and more inside of me...I am so confused and depressed right now. I have been so positive and strong and tonight I feel as if I am falling apart.

Berta · 11-30-2005, 07:33 PM

Tracy: sounds like a really rough day. The muga's are better after the first one and you know what to expect. I didn't know you couldn't draw blood from the affected side either. Most of the time, I have them use my port for the muga( They have to get a nurse in from oncology because no one in radiology knows how to use a port, but that's the way it is.

I understand about being scared. I was terrified of chemo and while it certainly wasn't a pleasant experience, it wasn't nearly as bad as you see on TV either, at least not for me. I started counting down the days from day one until I would be done, but things really do get better as time passes.

Good luck. I hope chemo goes well for you. I am also StageI , grade 3 Her2+++ but from what I understand, with chemo and herceptin, the survival rate is really good. I had a month between lumpectomy and chemo and a year later, I'm doing great. I don't think the tumors grow THAT fast. There are plenty of people on this board who have been at this longer than me and know more than I do, but I really think the outlook for you is positive.
Take care. BERTA

lexigirl · 11-30-2005, 07:45 PM

Tracy,
I'm sorry your day was so scary. I know just how you are feeling. With this aggresive Her2 + cancer, I too thought it was spreading and growing by the second. I had my scans and everything was fine. I praised the Lord and pray that He and the medicines will keep this cancer away. What I have learned here is that if you had lymphnodes removed, you don't want any blood draws or IV's in that arm.
Take Care,
Lexi

Tracy · 11-30-2005, 08:46 PM

Thank you for your support Berta and Lexi, I will let you know how my scans went as soon as I feel up to it. First A/C tomorrow...the unknown is such a scary thing.

fourboysmom · 11-30-2005, 09:24 PM

Hi Tracy,
Reading your post sent me back in time to March when I too was diagnosed with high grade, Her+3 cancer. I had been having hip pain (keeping me up at night) and was so convinced it was in my bones and Lord knows where else.The hardest part was the waiting...I was beside myself. I couldn't believe it when my scans were all negative.
I finished my last A/C 4 weeks ago and you will get through it too. Remember, it is what it is. We are all in it together my friend. My MUGA scan is in the morning. I'll be thinking of you. Love and peace, Janet from CT

Karen t · 11-30-2005, 10:44 PM

Hi Tracy,

Please know that are not alone. Many of us will be sending you positive energy as you go through these next steps in your treatment.

My understanding is that you should not have anything done to your arm on the side that has had lymph nodes removed; this also means no BP taken on that side.

I have a rule (and here I go breaking it again!) not to think about or focus on cancer in the evenings (after 5 p.m.). It seems that I am emotionally stronger earlier in the day when I'm not tired and it's also not a good idea to go to bed at night worrying about cancer. I have also decided not to discuss cancer on weekends - trying to treat my medical condition like a "job" and give myself evenings, weekends and vacation so that there will be time for other interests - enough time so that cancer does not end up defining me. Since I have chemo/Herceptin every week (and sometimes find myself having a doctor's appt, lab test, blood draw, etc., on almost a daily basis), it can be a challenge to "ignore" my situation - but it really helps to make time to "have a life."

Take care.
Karen

Lolly · 11-30-2005, 10:48 PM

Tracy, I know the feeling. When my scan dates roll around, it's a struggle to not end up feeling like a lab rat by the end of the day. But you did get through it, and you'll get through the next day too, and for awhile just take it one day at a time like that. One day you'll realize "hey, I'm halfway through this thing!" It DOES get easier. Hang in there kiddo.

<3 Lolly

Tracy · 12-01-2005, 02:52 PM

My scans were clear, Thank God!!! I had my chemo, I feel ok right now, but getting tired. I found I have arthritis in my feet and knees. He saw 2 small "nodules" 4mm on my lung but said it is nothing he is worried about! Thanks for all the prayers.

Tracy

12-01-2005, 03:07 PM

Tracy - Thank God, yes on your good scans!!!

The email I received right before your good news was that a very dear friend of mine has just been diagnosed with BC and will have surgery next week. We'll be driving to San Francisco to spend the weekend with her, help sort through her questions and lend moral support. It never ends, but thank goodness we have each other. I am very grateful for this support group.

All the best,
Karen

Patty H · 12-01-2005, 03:23 PM

Tracy
I remember when I had my first set of scans. I cried through most of them. It is all so over whelming and scary at first. I think the young lab tecs didn't know what to do with this woman crying. And my scans came out pretty good then too. Now when I have scans I always get a little apprehience but no more tears. We do adjust and it is completely normal to feel the way you did that day. It will get easier. best of luck Patty H

sassy · 12-01-2005, 05:24 PM

I found that keeping a good attitude and deciding that chemo would not get me down helped a great deal--chemo is not what it used to be!

Sassy
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