I only had the mastectomy--no reconstruction--but the one piece of general advice I'd give you is to buy drain pouches. It will be a lot easier than pinning and unpinning them (which is what I did).
Here's an example, but you can google for many others, including camisoles and bras. There are even some for the shower:
http://www.tlcdirect.org/products/sk...__dept-35.html
As for the rest--I was in the hospital for a little over 24 hours, and I slept almost the entire time. I have no idea how long they keep you when reconstruction is involved, and that's what matters when you're planning what to take. What I've been told is that front-button shirts are a must, but I had full movement from the beginning, so that may not be true. Better to be safe than sorry, though.
I was not allowed a full shower until after the drains were removed (I had three), so a hand-held shower attachment made life much more pleasant. Afterward, my surgeon's APN said I could've showered and used a blow dryer afterwards, so be sure to ask.
Mostly, I just wanted to say good luck. I also wanted to say that you apparently live not so far from me, so if there's anything I can do for you, please feel free to call on me. It's actually easiest to get me with an IM to
rhondalea@gmail.com, but (hope this isn't against the rules), you can also call me at 469-619-7553. I can't be there in a flash like someone around the corner, but I will get there.
My final word to you is that my anticipation of the event was overblown, and in the end, it was pretty much a big nothing. I hated the drains passionately, but only because they made me feel like the invalid I most certainly was not. Other than that, it wasn't a big deal, so don't let fear get the best of you.
Edited to add: On the pain management--just take what they give you, and be religious about taking it. One of the residents came in and said to me: "Don't let the pain get ahead of you." I didn't have much pain at all--it was more irritation than anything--but life was easier with Percocet than without it, so take it as directed, and if you need something stronger, ask immediately. There's no good reason to suffer when you don't have to. You can't drive with the drains anyway (well, you're not supposed to, although I did that too after the first week, but not when I was taking pain meds), so taking the drugs as directed won't stop you from doing anything you could be doing.
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