Wanting to escape

Rich66 · 10-22-2008, 02:24 PM

I hear you. I just returned to my own abode for a couple days and I feel the guilt for not being there..even when there isn't much I can do. And yes..when I'm in the midst of "normal" life, or feeling healthy, it's easy to feel guilty about enjoying it. I try to keep in mind the notion that our folks don't want us to be consumed by their issues. I look at it as trying to find a reasonable balance in an unreasonable situation. Oh..I'm far from achieving it but want you to know you aren't alone in your feelings.

ElaineM · 10-22-2008, 09:00 PM

I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I am sorry you are both having such a hard time. Can you have a family meeting to discuss whatever needs to be discussed? Are you listed on the list of "in case of emergency notify" in her doctor's office? Can you talk to a counselor or instructors at your school-----people who could help you get your school work done during this difficult time for you and your family?

Colleens_Husband · 10-23-2008, 12:31 PM

Hey Sue:

Thanks for posting and thanks for being so open and honest with all of us here. I know this wasn't very easy for you to say.

Sue, you have nothing to feel sorry about or to apologize for. You live a full five hours away and you have your own life to live. With you being away to college, you are doing the absolute best you can for your mother. The best thing you can do for your mother is to live the best you can and become the best person you can possibly be.

You may want to make inquiries into a thing called 'survivor's guilt'. This may help you see that you are having perfectly normal and predictable feelings over an emotionally devastating situation.

I don't wish to get away from it all because I know that each and every day I spend with my dear wife is a precious gift. Try to make the time you spend with your mom mean something and you may not feel so bad when you go away to college.

And don't take this trying to be strong stuff too seriously. Sometimes its okay to lean into your fears and pain. Its often the easiest way to get through all of this.

Sue, you are in our hearts and prayers.

Lee