Debbie says:
Quote:
I think what all our discussions about anxiety and fear are really about is accepting uncertainty. But everyone's life is uncertain. No one's life (even the sweetest, healthiest newborn's) is certain. We've just experienced a higher-level alert than most, in this regard. We can use that alert to explore and grow. I see that as an opportunity for which I am grateful. Cancer is just one of so many things that can afflict people. I do not see it as a "terrible disease". I do not hate it. Everyone has burdens. This one just happens to be one of ours.
For myself, I'm no longer scared. I mostly let go of scared about a year after diagnosis. This is not to say that I believe that I will never recur and die. I know and acknowledge that possibility. Sometimes, in fact, I "use" that possibility to remind myself to focus on what's important.
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wow Debbie, thank you so much for writing this, I've just finished rads after almost a year of treatments/ surgery etc etc, and I'm still in that scary place where you can't quite allow yourself to live your life again because you're so scared it's going to hit you again..........in the meantime you waste precious time of your life....
where you are now is where I hope to be some time in the future, won't be a year from diagnosis as that is only a month away....but hopefully, not long after that.....so again, thank you for expressing it so well, for showing me there is a way out which doesn't entail any "thinking positive" - how I hate that phrase - nor feeling paralyzed by fear of recurrence.
(I have been visiting this forum from almost soon after my diagnosis, rarely post as I nver feel I have much to contribute that hasn't already been said by someone else, but I thank you all ladies as you are an incredible source of information, and reading your stories has helped me get through this really long and difficult journey!)
Chiara
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