Thanks Sherry
We have had these talks over the last year and I am so happy that we did. I have promised him that I shall survive and need to go on, that he can count on me to continue to make differences here on earth while I still have the chance. We have talked about 'that time' and he will know when that is. Sherry, I told him he has to tell me when he is too tired to fight, when the pain is too unbearable, when the fight is gone...I told him I would motivate and push him UNTIL he said "NO MORE". I know myself and I will let go and even if I thought I could not, I would have to. I never thought I could handle this journey we are on either, but look at us now. As a patient I know there comes that time when the fight is gone. As a caregiver I know the time comes for me too that seeing him like that is too much to bear. I know at his burial I will know and say..."He is not suffering anymore, he is doing God's work now".
On a happy note, I went to the cemetary to see our site and it is all I wanted it to be and more. We wanted the same thing so when he was feeling well about 5 weeks ago he reserved the spot with his mom. Gorgeous trees deep surround us and we are going to plant our own tree. I hope they let me have a Dogwood tree, I have fond memories of my Meme's house and those trees. (messy but gorgeous) They are one of my favorites. Tomorrow I want to reserve my stone....black granite with many features including two vases right on it and a locket on front that will have our pictures in it. So happy to have this closure!!
Thanks for your input, I appreciate it. Big hug and loves.>>Believe51
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9/7/06Husband 50yrs=StageIV IBC/HER2+,BoneMets10/06TaxotereX10,'H'1X wk,Zometa,Tamoxifen4/12/07Last Tax5/18/07Pet=Rapid Cell Activity,No Organ Mets,Lytic Lesions,Degeneration,Some Bone Repair5/07ChemoFail6/01/07Pleural Thoracentisis=Effusions,NoMalignantCells6/19/07+7/2/07DFCI
6/25/07BrainMRI=BrainMets,Many<9mm7/10/07WBR/PelvisRad37.5Gx15&Nutritionist8/19/07T/X9/20/07BrainMRI=2<2mm10/6/07Pet=BoneProgression
10/24/07ChemoFail11/9/07A/Cx10,EndTam12/7/07Faslodex12/10/07Muga7512/13/07BlasticLesions1/7/08BrainMRI=Clear4/1/08Pet=BoneImprovement,
NoProgression,Stable4/7/08BrainPerfect5/16/08Last A/C8/26/08BrainMets=10(<9mm)9/10/08Gamma10/30/08Met=5mm12/19/08Gamma5mets5
12/22/08SpinalMets1/14/09SpinalRads2/17/09BrainMRI=NoNewMets4/20/09BoneScan5/14/09Ixempra6/1/09BrainMRI=NumerousMets6/24/09DFCIw/DrBurstein6/26/09Continue
Ixempra/Faslodex/Zometa~TM now lower7/17/09Stop Ixempra By Choice9/21/09HOSPICE10/16/09Earned His Deserved Wings And Halo=37 Month Fight w/Stage 4 IBC, Her2+++,My Hero!!
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