I just want to be normal

SoCalGal · 06-27-2007, 09:49 PM

Hey Brenda - I also sent emails to Oprah's producers today. I think someone will contact me this summer!

Andrea Barnett Budin · 06-28-2007, 05:13 AM

Let me give this a whirl here. Your post made me happy, Flori!

Okay. That did not work. Simple. For morons. Maybe the REPLY (magic) part of the instructions allude me. Oh, Flori. Help a mechanically/technologically challenged gal.

If you look sideways -- the colon and end parenthesis look a little like a smiley face.

Where the heck is REPLY (magic)?????????????????

Going in for scans now. Drank my drink. It's raining. But my heart is smiling cause of your NEW SIGN! Love... ANDI

Andrea Barnett Budin · 06-28-2007, 05:15 AM

I'LL BE DARNED! Like magic.

It appeared!

I'm giddy w/joy. Will think of your smiley face tip while WAITING for my scans...

Andrea Barnett Budin · 06-28-2007, 04:31 PM

Had my CT scans this AM. NO EVIDENCE OF METASTIC DISEASE. STABLE. Thank you God. Thank you body. Thank you mind. All systems working together...

I did NOT use my port for contrast, as you wise women, and my chemo nurses and my onc just told me, in passing. After all these yrs of scanning regularly since '98. Yes, they always used to saline flushes and heplock. No, I never had a problem. But I will never take a chance again with my precious port. So they stabbed me a few times, and dug and dug, to thread it in. Not horrible. I have one good arm, as most of us and one good vein in the middle of my wrist, which ALL wince at approaching, hating to do as I plead. They all start off w/the juicy looking one and become so dismayed when it fails. They pump saline in to be sure it's working and IT'S NOT. I get a big bubble of saline. They call for reinforcements. Next. Please use my wrist. I know you think it hurts the most, but the hand hurts more. I promise you. They gave me a nice bandage cuff to go home with. And, in accordance with my plea for a SAME DAY REPORT, I got the results in 1 1/2 hrs (rather than waiting most of the day). They spoil me. I can't take the waiting. And Paul is worse than I am. He gets so nervous EVERY time. Still. Bless his heart. Wishing you all good reports, health and wellness, joy and harmony. With much love my sweet Soul Sisters... ANDI

lilyecuadorian · 06-28-2007, 06:57 PM

congratulations i soo happy for you .....mean it

Andrea Barnett Budin · 06-28-2007, 07:30 PM

Wishing you all I wish for myself! Really and truly... ANDI

hutchibk · 06-28-2007, 07:49 PM

Andi - I too have the 'vein in my wrist or hand' conversation with any new tech who needs to get some blood outta me... many of them spend unnecssary time trying to convince me that it is too painful and that they should go into the traditional elbow bend area. They are terrified that they will hurt me. I have spent many a moment convincing them that on me it is the other way around, I don't really feel it in my hand or wrist, but it hurts like heck in my elbow bend. One tech I argued and argued with because she refused my way (for CT contrast) and then after I agreed to her way to prove the point, she blew the vein and I moaned in pain - so she had to get her supervisor to access my hand which I barely felt. I had the biggest bruise for a couple of weeks... but she promised to never question another patient who wanted it in the hand. I should know, we have been doing this for almost 4 years now!

SoCalGal · 06-29-2007, 07:35 AM

Andi,

Thanks for sharing your fantastic news. Made my day and it's only 7:30 in the morning...I have my pet on 3rd of July. My stomache flips just typing the words. You'd think I'd be better at this after 11 years of practice.

Have a wonderful day today - bask in the good news, you certainly deserve it!
Flori

suzan w · 06-29-2007, 08:23 AM

This has been a great topic! I just got back from a week vacation and found a "lump" (pimple) right between my mastectomy scars. Because I had been on an airplane from one end of the country to the other and back again I had an " achy node" (stiff neck). Convinced it was the worst...It took a call to my oncologist who told me it was nothing and she will see me in 2 weeks at our regular appointment AND finally a visit to my PCP who told me that it was indeed a pimple, and I had a stiff neck from sitting up all funky on the airplane. Ibuprofin (now, why didn't I think of that??!!) worked on the neck and the pimple was almost gone by the time I got to the doctor's office. That's why I love this topic, because YOU all GET IT!! (

trying the smiley face insert! NOTHING is NORMAL anymore! I worry about everything! I am a very spiritual person, was before my diagnosis-thank goodness!!! Sometimes, however, the creeping worries can overshadow all my good intentions, no matter how hard I try. Yet, here I am, in my "new normal"...trying not to waste a moment! Every time I log onto this site it is such an upper visiting with everyone! Thanks!!!

Andrea Barnett Budin · 06-29-2007, 12:47 PM

No matter who you are, new to bc, or a veteran warrior -- the test that could/might/please God won't looms large. Keep thinking I'd do better, I don't. Except this time, when I was busy being scared for Paul and forgot about being scared myself, for myself. Well, that isn't good. Diversion IS good, but by scrubbing a stained sink, writing, painting, whatever, NOT obsessing about a loved ones' saga of woes. But we do what we must, and surprise ourselves how strong we can be! And that alone is EMPOWERING, which is UPLIFTING...!

Yes, a pimple on my chest/declotte area freaks me out. I think, I never had skin mets. WHAT DO SKIN METS LOOK LIKE/FEEL LIKE? I don't think I want to know. Yet, of course, I do. To be adequately prepared, to be vigilant while seeking not to become crazed. I have a few teeny weeny little things that *normal* people wouldn't think twice about. On my legs for the most part, I think. I have "dermatologist" on a list, to get to once past Paul's orthopedist, cardiologist, urologist, internist and maybe neurologist. We have twin endocrinologist appts 7/18. Derma guy will have to wait. Supposed to go to Calif late July for littlest grandson's 1st Bday. Taking one day at a time, what w/Paul's issues and all. Guess you all know about taking ONE DAY AT A TIME. Too overwhelming to look too far ahead. The One Day Plan works wonderfully. But can't give my daughter any promises, which she totally understands. Pamela was supposed to come back to Boca w/us and 2 little guys, leaving Tom to his conference to join us when done. Now, I can't say just yet. Being a "planner" by nature has to be shelved for the moment.

Flori, good luck 7/3! Will think of you with

smiley face, which is a trick you taught me. Love it!

Habit forming! Just drew a blank on your name (w/the pimple and the stiff neck and the great sense of humor and...) Afraid to click elsewhere and lose this post. Can't seem to COPY it, so will have to think of you and your pretty face and blond hair and check after submitting. I apologize. I love all my sweet Soul Sisters who all get it!! Every one of you. This site is like HOME. Sending loving energy to all... ANDI Seeking to be *normal* when nothing else is, is quite the daunting challenge, eh?

Andrea Barnett Budin · 06-29-2007, 12:53 PM

I ACTUALLY WAS THINKING "s" AND EVEN SUSAN, but was scared of being wrong.

ANDI BB

Joy · 09-21-2007, 07:56 AM

I SO KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. I often say to my family in tears that Ijust want to be normal. Whatever that is. Remember as we get older everyone has health issues and that becomes their normal. But Stage IV cancer is a crazy ride, crazier than most. You are inspirational and funny and gorgeous-so maybe you can never be normal becaue you are soo exceptional!