New member fears

Myra,

We are on a similar time schedule. I had my surgery in July, and the anxiety still comes, and fortunately, always goes, usually when I begin to think about something else. There are days when I forget completely about cancer and other days when it totally occupies my thoughts. In my long life I never thought about my underarms except when I shaved them, and now I find myself checking all the time for lumps. When does it pass?--I don't know but for sure it does. I've become less anxious since I stopped searching the internet trying to learn everything I can about HER2 breast cancer. I have a friend, a very brilliant woman, formerly a distinguished professor at a well-known university, and a many times published writer who was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2005. She never talks about it, hasn't a clue what type she has, and doesn't know her prognosis. How she is able to ignore it is beyond me, but in truth she copes better than I do. So perhaps in the case of breast cancer, some ignorance is better than total knowledge. Anyway, my recent resolution is to stop searching the internet and to visit this site only when I need a boost in confidence. I'll let you know if it works. Good luck.

[Jean]

Myra,
Is thinking about how you are taking positive steps to ward off the disease.
The herceptin treatments are a big step in fighting off the her2. Most times
when we feel frightened it is due to the unknown and not being able to have
control. Say to yourself daily "I can beat this." A positive attitude will give
you the courage to go on when things get rough. Most important to remember
you are not alone. When you need some lifting just get to this board.

Regards,
Jean

[rinaina]

Myra, all i can say is everything you are feeling is so normal. We all have our ups and downs with this. Have a heart to heart with your onc or onc nurse. They always seem to know just the right thing to say to me when I get like this. Also, remember, most of your days are good by comparison so don't let the few bad ones rule. Try and be positive all the time and then maybe more than half the time you will be. These feelings we get are a normal by product of having this lousy disease. Many are beating it though and that is what we have to hold onto.

[Bev]

Hi Myra,

I had massive anxiety before surgery and chemo and rads. I had problems with anxiety before cancer but dealt with it. Seeing an Onc every few weeks gave me the opportunity to say I need some help. I received a prescription for Ambien which I only used a couple of times. I also have one for Zoloft, which has also helped and continues to do so. They have also given me Ativan which they said to reserve for emergencies. Only have taken one. If you've had the anxiety before, it's some sort of imbalance that can be helped with meds. If it's new with the cancer, you may just need a little something until time heals all. And it will. You will be just fine with the Herceptin.

Do seek some sort of treatment. It's not worth suffering over. If used as directed, these are not mind altering drugs.
Good luck, Bev

[SusanV]

Myra,


I took one low dose ativan for several months before bedtime. Without it, I like you tried to solve all my problems, and the worlds problems between 10 pm and 6 am when I should have been sleeping. The ativan really helped me get to sleep, and most importantly stay asleep. Sleep deprivation brings its own set of problems, and you don't want to add any more than you have to !


Best wishes

[saleboat]

It seems like one of the biggest side-effects of this wretched disease is its emotional impact-- and at least my doctors never really addressed it in any real way, even though it was as real as the chemo side-effects.

I found Ativan to be an enormous help, although I'm very hesitant to take drugs (well, that rule sure went out the door with chemo...)

I was diagnosed two years ago this April, and there are many days now when cancer barely enters my mind. Then there are days that I find it consuming and I'm plagued by fear. But those days get further and further apart, and I feel a much greater sense of well-being than I did even 6 months ago.

All to say, what you feel is totally normal and understandable and yes, there are things like Ativan that can help. I also found trying to meditate a help (I'm not very good at it), yoga and exercise help a lot now too. And I started seeing a therapist, which truthfully, I think every cancer patient should see a therapist at least for a little while. It is such a trauma to be dx'd with cancer, and just like we all have Oncologists, I think a dose-dense regimine of seeing a shrink would help too!

Also, I find that if I spend too much time on breast-cancer discussion boards, I start to freak a little. I have to moderate my usage...it is very tempting to surf the internet for a cure-- and it is a big disappointment!

Best of luck to you,
Jen