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Joy,
I do not have children, so I can't address parenting issues first hand. I do have to echo the comments from others about the effect of altering your living arrangements on both sets of children. There is currently uncertainty in all their lives, and the comfort of what they think of as "home" may be a constant that helps to keep them grounded.
As to your thoughts about complicating his life, well, now is not the time to go getting all co-dependent. He has free will. He is an adult capable of making decisions, running a business and raising two children. This is his call. It sounds to me like the idea of blending families is what is really kicking up a lot of the dust here. FWIW, I know a couple, married, who both have children from their previous marriages. They have decided to keep both of their respective homes (which are about an hour apart) so that their children can continue to live in familiar surroundings, and to also make the shared custody arrangements they have with their ex's work. Not ideal, but they are happy with it, and it seems to be working out. What I am saying I guess is that this may be an element of stress you can take off the table for everyone.
Whatever you do, please know that you are in my thoughts frequently and that I am pulling for you 110%.
Best of luck to you and yours,
Hopeful
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