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View Full Version : Experts Offer Tips on Easing Mammogram Discomfort


Joe
09-23-2007, 09:11 AM
Simple steps like avoiding caffeine can help, they say

More... (http://www.healthcentral.com/breast-cancer/news-160650-31.html)

Sandy in Silicon Valley
09-23-2007, 12:49 PM
Hey, Joe -

Until a man has to put his testes between two plates of glass and have them squoze to pancake-thin, I'm not sure there's any understanding possible of the torture- chamber-like quality of mammogram procedures. How 'bout inventors try and come up with a better boob-trap, instead of advising how to make the sadism bearable?

I've done the simple steps that are recommended in the article you've posted - the avoidance of caffeine and times of the month when breasts are especially tender has been known for at least 2 decades, if memory serves me...

In honor of it NOT being Pinky-poo month yet, here's a bit of mammogram sarcasm that I think many women, with and without bc, can relate to:

"Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test! Best of all, these simple exercises can be done at home.

Exercise 1
Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in the door. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut and lean on it for good measure. Hold that position for 5 seconds. Repeat with other breast (if you have one, and you're still able to stand up).


Exercise 2
Visit your garage at 3am when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Remove your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back up the car until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat for the other breast.


Exercise 3
Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Ask the stranger to smash the bookends together as hard as they can. Set an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.


You are now properly prepared!"