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Old 01-30-2007, 08:42 AM   #1
Hopeful
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Sad today

I was diagnosed in the spring of last year, around the same time that Barbaro, the great race horse, broke down at the Preakness. Since then, I have felt some sort of kinship with him and his plight. I am reading an article in my local newspaper today, where several other bc patients, diagnosed at around the same time, are having the same reaction. I followed his case closely, but somehow managed not to hear the news on either this past Saturday or Sunday, so was surprised to learn yesterday he had taken a turn for the worst. When I heard of his passing last night shortly after arriving home from work, the only way I can describe my feelings is to say I am truly "grief stricken" - lots of tears and sadness, the depth of which I am at a loss to explain. I guess the experience of "bonding" at least in my mind with another creature who was also sorely tried and who fought so bravely and with such spirit affected me more than I knew. I feel so odd saying my heart is broken, but it is. He really was an inspiration to many. As his owner, Gretchen Jackson said, "Grief is the price we all pay for love."

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Old 01-30-2007, 08:51 AM   #2
kari
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Hi, Hopeful,
I, too, felt a sadness at Barbaro's passing. Our family has a love of horses (and dogs and hamsters, etc), so the news affected us, too.
My husband grew up around race horses and used to trailer them to races. My daughter rode and showed quarter horses. Also, we took a trip to the Kentucky Horse Park a couple of years ago--what an amazing place!
Your post was lovely, and expressed what a lot of us are probably thinking and feeling, too. So thanks.
Peace and Blessings,
Karen
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Old 01-30-2007, 09:58 AM   #3
Mary Jo
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Just wanted to send a cyber hug with lots of feeling from my heart. It is not fun when our hearts are breaking and that can happen all too frequently since our diagnosis' with breast cancer.

I will pray tomorrow is a better day and once again - my HEARTFELT care for you I send today.

Peace -

Mary Jo
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Old 01-30-2007, 10:13 AM   #4
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Perhaps . . .

Tears often overcome me, and at the oddest moments. I'll be feeling perfectly fine and then something will trigger a response of great sadness, too often around others. I believe it's the not knowing--the loss of certainty in our lives. As one of my doctor's expressed it recently. A diagnosis of breast cancer is a bit like being ejected from the Garden of Eden. No matter how old we are, it's perhaps the first time we've had to truly acknowledge our mortality. At least that how it is with me.

I also felt very sad when I hear of Barbaro's death.
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Old 01-30-2007, 10:53 AM   #5
Hopeful
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Mary Jo, thank you so much. I feel that hug right here at my desk.

Grace, I think you have touched on exactly where these feelings are coming from. Early in diagnosis, we are so overwhelmed with various appointments, tests, second opinions, and the shock of the situation, we don't get the chance to properly grieve our own lost sense of security and well being. All that gets pushed in the background. I looked at Barbaro as some kind of beacon of hope, that if he could defy really bad odds, maybe I could, too. His passing has put me in touch with all the feelings about my diagnosis that I just shoved under the rug so I could keep going forward. They were bound to come out at some point; this is the real catalyst for it. So, in a way, the grief is cathartic. I am sure that I will be back doing justice to my screen name when it has been worked through. Thanks for responding.

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Old 01-30-2007, 11:53 AM   #6
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Hi Hopeful,
I just heard about Barbaro's death last night, also and was greatly saddened by it. He had such a great spirit! I have to agree that being aware of other's mortality, makes it difficult not to think about our own.
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Old 01-30-2007, 12:24 PM   #7
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New York Times editorial on Barbaro

<nyt_headline version="1.0" type=" "> One Horse Dies</nyt_headline><script language="JavaScript" type="text/JavaScript">function getSharePasskey() { return 'ex=157680000&en=96078a44da16e6ab&ei=5124';}</script> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/JavaScript"> function getShareURL() { return encodeURIComponent('http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/30/opinion/30tue4.html'); } function getShareHeadline() { return encodeURIComponent('One Horse Dies'); } function getShareDescription() { return encodeURIComponent('Barbaro’s death was tragic not because it was measured against the races he might have won, but because of what every horse is.'); } function getShareKeywords() { return encodeURIComponent('Barbaro (Race Horse),Horse Racing,Horses,Preakness Stakes'); } function getShareSection() { return encodeURIComponent('opinion'); } function getShareSectionDisplay() { return encodeURIComponent('Editorial'); } function getShareSubSection() { return encodeURIComponent(''); } function getShareByline() { return encodeURIComponent(''); } function getSharePubdate() { return encodeURIComponent('January 30, 2007'); } </script>

<input name="type" value="1" type="hidden"><input name="url" value="http%3a%2f%2fwww%2enytimes%2ecom%2f2007%2f0 1%2f30%2fopinion%2f30tue4%2ehtml" type="hidden"><input name="title" value="One%20Horse%20Dies" type="hidden"><input name="description" value="Barbaro%26%238217%3bs%20death%20was%20tragi c%20not%20because%20it%20was%20measured%20against% 20the%20races%20he%20might%20have%20won%2c%20but%2 0because%20of%20what%20every%20horse%20is%2e" type="hidden"><input name="asset_id" value="1154663284611" type="hidden"><input name="pub_date" value="20070130" type="hidden"><input name="author" value="" type="hidden"><input name="col_name" value="Editorial" type="hidden"> January 30, 2007

Why should we feel so much grief at the loss of one horse? After all, this is a world in which horses are sacrificed again and again for the sport of humans. Barbaro was euthanized yesterday, eight months after he shattered his right hind leg at the start of the Preakness Stakes. After an injury like that, most racehorses would have been put down minutes later. But every race is a complex equation — a balance of economics, athleticism, equine grace and conscience. Conscience often comes in last, but not in this case. Barbaro’s owners gave that horse exactly what he had given them, which is everything. It was the very least they could do, and yet it seemed truly exceptional in a sport that is as often barbarous as it is beautiful.[/list]<script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript">writePost();</script>


<nyt_byline version="1.0" type=" "></nyt_byline><nyt_text></nyt_text>Barbaro was exceptional because he won the Kentucky Derby and looked as if he might have a chance at the Triple Crown. But nearly everyone who met him also talked of the life he displayed, a vivid presence that was so much more visible to us because it happened to belong to a winner.

Humans are not especially good at noticing horses, but Barbaro was easy to notice. And if his life caused us to pay attention to the possibilities of all horses, his death should cause us to pay attention to the tragedy inherent in the end of so many horses. Barbaro’s death was tragic not because it was measured against the races he might have won or even against the effort to save his life. It was tragic because of what every horse is.

You would have to look a long, long time to find a dishonest or cruel horse. And the odds are that if you did find one, it was made cruel or dishonest by the company it kept with humans. It is no exaggeration to say that nearly every horse — Barbaro included — is pure of heart. Some are faster, some slower. Some wind up in the winner’s circle. But they should all evoke in us the generosity of conscience — a human quality, after all — that was expended in the effort to save this one horse.
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Old 01-30-2007, 03:08 PM   #8
Karen Weixel
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I was sad when I heard this, too.

Karen
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Old 01-30-2007, 04:06 PM   #9
rinaina
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Hi Hopeful and other members. I think everyone who has a heart and a love for animals was sadden to hear about Barbaro. I also was diagnosed early spring and remember the accident. However, we can learn a lesson from this great horse...Remain positive and strong. Even though in the end he had to be euthanized, he stayed strong and didn't give up. We have a fight ahead of us and we can't give up and we all know that having a positive attitude makes a difference in our health. So hear is a hug for support and encouragement to keep fighting and think positive. Believe me, I know it isn't always easy.
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Old 01-30-2007, 05:16 PM   #10
Mary Anne in TX
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Thanks for the message, Hopeful. I've thought so many times since Barbaro lost his battle for life, what a great example he set for us. As his vet said, he fought for life as bravely as he raced. Although each time I see a story on him, I cry, I am even more inspired by that beautiful horse who set such an example for me. It also reminds me that it matters to others how I fight and live. Thanks again for caring for one of God's magnificent creatures. ma
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Old 01-31-2007, 06:14 AM   #11
Hopeful
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Kari and Karen, thanks for caring. Compassion is a great healer.

Rinania and Mary Anne, thanks for the inspirational thoughts. This is surely the memory I will carry of him, and call on when I am feeling low in my own journey.

Best to all,

Hopeful
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