offering advise

I know there are many times I read this message board and say to myself wow I have been there myself but I resist to offer advise. Here is why. Sometimes people are not asking but you feel in your heart you can help them but then think it is none of my business. For example on another message board a few years back a woman decided she was going to take herbs instead of chemotherapy. Personally I thought that was a definate death sentence but this is what she chose and why should I weigh in. I have strong feelings about mastectomies over lumpectomies but again I reserve comment. I could go on but I think you ladies know where I am going with this. Do you all often feel this way?

actually, i don't know where you are going with this, and since i am really emotional, i am afraid that you are referring to me...so if you are...please just speak your mind. i am strong enough to listen and make my own choices...lauren

I did not even think of you quite honestly. I was never offended by anything you or anyone else had to say. This is what a message board is for. It is just our opinion. But what I was saying is sometimes people mention their treatment plans and we know whether it be from experience or reading that it may not be the best plan. Over the years I have resisted from posting responses because I feel that we all have free will. Can you better understand me? I hope so because we are here for one another not to argue or attack one another for sharing.

Hi Annemarie: I know what you mean...I, too sometimes hesitate to express my opinion but then I think about how I feel when I post and others respond with a different "spin" on the situation. Often, they do me a favor by giving me more options than I had thought of originally. And I feel the more choices or information you have the better it is when trying to solve a problem. Ultimatly, no matter how many differing solutions or information I get, "I" make the final decision. I think as long as we respond in a respectful and caring way, even if opinions differ, it is OK.
Take Care, Linda

I think it is very helpful to hear differing opinions about treatments and approaches. I don't get offended by people offering opinions unless they say or indicate that it is the only way. If you see me post and you have info or opinions that I don't let me know...it could save one of our lives!! Just my own little opinion!!! Alicia

Linda,
Excellent post. Without the facial expression and the tone of our voice, it can be hard sometimes when you are reading or posting the typed word. Our emotions are always on a roller coaster and we can be so sensitive or defensive sometimes. I really think that you are so right about respect.... we can all learn from others opinions. I know I have and as long as we don't disrespect others, we should be able to filter out the information and come to conclusions that fit our needs.

Thanks for posting....
janelle

I agree with Janelle. I haven't looked at this site for ages, but started looking again recently. It's my two year anniversary, so suppose you are all on my mind. And I found this site such a wonderful help when I first found it 9 months ago. I had wished I had found it two years ago!! Today there seems to be much gloomy and caution. But hey, we've all been there and and that's what this board is for, so we can help each other through the rough spots.

I remember posting something that I thought was quite inoccuous on one occasion and someone took offence at it, thinking it inflammatory, so I guess I just became a lurker for a while and gradually gave up visiting at all. But I don't think anyone here means to hurt or offend, or to tell anyone what to do. It's just a sharing of ideas and mutual support. Like someone else said elsewhere, you are the only one's I know with HER2 disease. I haven't met anyone in my city who even knows what it is (except for the doctors).

Yes we all get emotional, angry, sad and anxious and I find I gain strength from hearing how you all cope with things far worse than I have to cope with. It gives me courage that I too will cope if things get worse for me.

So I figure it's best not to take anything personally. I just like to listen to other opinions so I can weigh up what seems best for me and my little family. And if I can make a useful suggestion to someone else along the way, then that's good too.

Happy times for all ahead.
Vicki

PS I'm still NED and celebrating 2 years.