sometimes i come back

[v-ness]

sometimes i come back and this year it has been so extremely sad each time because so many have lost their lives. i sit here so grateful for my 3rd year of remission. i came back tonight for the first time in months to find that our founder christine has died and even though i did not know her, it feels like such a blow. she founded this site and my god, so many people have called this site a lifeline in its many years. i know that when i read that i had HER2+ cancer i had a panic attack and was utterly relieved to find this board where everyone was also HER2+, albeit so many different stages and types. i had another board during treatment where i made some good friends, but this one was always the place to go for cutting edge information and stories about incredible survival. it was - is - a place of hope. i think we all must stumble with the harsh reality of lives lost, friends and acquaintances or people whose words just kept you inspired or smiling or hopeful. mine was courtney.

i came here tonight i guess inspired by her. yesterday i received a donation from her husband jay in her memory for my boston marathon jimmy fund walk. last year i formed Team BRAVE and we raised $10,600 for cancer research. my friend stacy was coming up from PA to do the half marathon with me when she herself was stricken with a breast cancer diagnosis of her own last july. she went through a year of treatment and burned her port in a fire on the anniversary the other day. this year she really will make it to walk the marathon route and we will do so for so many who we've lost and so many who are fighting, and also in memory of and in honor of the victims of the boston marathon bombings.

sadly, my niece aimee has had progression and dana farber is pulling out the big guns now and treating her with adriamycin and cytoxan. she had a brain tumor a year and a half ago that turned out to be breast cancer mets. the tumor is still in her breast and the brain mets have not returned. however, she suffered from terrible neuropathy this past year and it turned out to be mets to the spine. they did not want to remove the breast tumor or do chemo because she had MRSA from a bad car accident and the pins in her back made it hard to see the cancer, plus she has had very bad diabetes since the age of 3. so we decided to reform Team BRAVE yet again this year because at least it is *some* way to do *something* to fight cancer. she is not even 40, with 2 boys still in school. cancer is so unfair, but seems that much more so when it strikes someone who has already been through repeated deadly threats to her life before it ever came along. i can't believe what a good attitude she has, taking it all in stride, telling us she'll live to 90. so her siblings and her husband and stacy and i will walk (she cannot do so without a walker now) miles on september 8 for her and for courtney and for my husband bob and my mom and countless others who have been affected by this horrible disease. and now i sit here thinking of christine and all she did to better the lives of so many of us with HER2+ breast cancer. there is barely room on my t-shirt anymore for another name, but i will add hers to it to honor her and this site and the many here fighting cancer and those who've lost their lives in the years since i found this board.

keep fighting and keep posting - your words, all of you, contribute so much to the knowledge others who will follow will so desperately need, like i did 3.5 years ago.

valerie

[KsGal]

Valerie...this was a great post. Thank you for walking and raising all that money for cancer research. And that Jay sent you a donation on Courtney's behalf is awesome. Miss Courtney terribly, and many others.

It is an inspiring, educational site full of hope and faith, but it is very difficult to read of all the losses and miss those posts from people you have shared and bonded with. Im glad you came back and posted.

[karen z]

I hope you continue to check in and post news as well as reply to the posts of others. You have the power to help others in so many ways and I think this board is an important life-long for many folks, newly diagnosed and not. So come back as often as you can !