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Re: Need some advice
Tracy,
I'm so sorry to hear that you are having such a tough time. I know from my own experience...my chemo began in April '11...that I needed medicine to help me cope with all the changes in my life. It sounds to me...a layperson, who's going through a similar situation...like it might be a good idea to discuss a short term course of anti-depressants with your onc, or primary doc.
I'm wondering...what type of reconstruction are you having. I felt sort of the same way about "fake boobs" as you put it. I'm having surgery at the Univ. of Pennsylvania, on Oct 7, called a DIEP flap. They'll take the fat and blood vessels from my tummy, and make new, cancer-free breasts for me. And the side benefit is that I get a tummy tuck too! I'm hoping they won't feel "fake" to me at all, since they're made from my own tissue.
I know, not all surgeons do the procedure, but Mullica Hill is probably closer to Penn than my house is, and I think every minute of my drive is worth it! If you want a second opinion...give them a call! 215-615-5858 I recommend them highly, so far. I'll let you know for sure after the 7th! 
Whatever you choose, you will NOT be a freak. That's the fear talking! Your friends and family love YOU...breasts...no breasts..."fake breasts"...they don't care about that!!
Good luck! Be strong for your kids!
All the best!
Denise
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1/11-needle biopsy
2/11-Lumpectomy/axillary node dissection - Stage 3c, ER/PR-14/17 nodes
3/11 - Post-op staph infection,cellulitis, lymphedema,seroma,ARRRGH!
4/12/11-A/C x 4, then T/H x 4, H only,Q3 weeks
8/26/11 finished Taxol!!!
10/7/11 mastectomy/DIEP recon
11/11 radiation x28
1/12/12 1st CANCER-VERSARY!
1/12 Low EF/Herceptin "Holiday" :(
2/12 EF up - Back on Herceptin, heart meds
4/2/1212 surgery to repair separated incision from DIEP recon
6/8/12 Return to work :)
6/17/12 Fall, shatter wrist,surgery to repair/insert plate :(
7/10/12 last Herceptin
7/23/12 Brain Mets %$&#! 3cm and 1cm
8/10/12 Gamma knife surgery, LOTS of steroids;start H/Tykerb
8/23/12 Back to work
12/20/12 Injure back-3 weeks in wheel chair
1/12/13 2nd CANCER-VERSARY!
1/14/13 herniate disk in back - surgery to repair
1/27/13 Radiation necrosis - edema in brain - back on steroids - but not back to work - off balance, poor cordination in right arm
5/3/13 Start Avastin to shrink necrosis
5/10/13 begin weaning steroids
6/18/13 Brain MRI - Avastin seems to be working!
6/20/13 quarterly CT - chest, abdomen, pelvis - All Clear!
7/5/13 finally off steroids!!
7/7/13 joined the ranks of the CHEMO NINJAS I am now Tekuto Ki Ariku cancer assassin!
7/13/13 Symptoms return - back on steroids
7/26/13 Back on Avastin - try again!
8/26/13 Not ready to return to classroom yet :( But I CAN walk without holding onto things! :)
9/9/13 Brain MRI - fingers crossed
“ Life is a grindstone, and whether it grinds you down or polishes you up is for you, and you alone, to decide. ” – Cavett Robert
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