How Did It Go Marie And Ed

Mary Jo · 12-20-2008, 11:53 AM

Hi Marie and Ed........Me and many of us are anxiously waiting to hear how things went yesterday. We continue to hold you both UP in prayer and wait patiently for your post.

Love and hugs......

Mary Jo

vickie h · 12-20-2008, 05:34 PM

We are all waiting for news from yesterday. Prayers in abundance. And my dear, how was that gift shop? Much love, Vickie

sassy · 12-20-2008, 05:55 PM

Hoping to hear from you soon; keeping the prayers streaming to you.

Chelee · 12-20-2008, 08:18 PM

Hi Marie, I've had you both in my thoughts and prayers. Just like the other ladies here I too am waiting to hear how things went for Ed. Until I hear from you I will continue to keep the prayers going. Hang in there...your stronger then you think.

Chelee

Terri B · 12-22-2008, 08:22 AM

Prayers to you, Sis and Ed. Hope everything is alright. Please respond!

Believe51 · 12-22-2008, 11:11 AM

Gamma Knife went much better than first time, he had bad met placement (aren't they all bad). Last time so he had to sit up, lean forward, etc. Not this time, things went on without a hitch, of course that had him so medicated that he did not even remember doing the MRI! (Hehe). He kept asking me how long the MRI would be and the nurse said it was already done....musta been my stop for breakfast when I missed this.

All 10 previous mets were shrinking and the MRI showed the rate of shrinkage from last Gamma. All shrinking at a wonderful rate except one that the surgeon decided was "Angry" and needed to be re-radiated! (Angry...that made me laugh!)

Total of 3 new mets, one tiny thing that looked like it could be a broken blood vessel and a re-zap. Five zaps and on our way. Through the day I ate breakfast and lunch, went shopping in the gift shop & the cancer gift shop. I also took walks in the snow and thought of you all my wonderful family here at Her2support. I smiled up into the falling snow and cried as I thought of the love and support you always give to us. We felt so protected!

This Gamma was our special gift to ourselves but also for others. We all need to know that the choices we make can benefit those around us to. Just think of the revived HOPE we are going to have when we hear that these mets are gone and we have added time to our lives!

Now for the best part of all, I am still livid about the next course of events. I did not know that the Gamma Knife was a procedure that you must stay overnight in the hospital next door. I do not know if this happens to everyone having this procedure or if it was from the prior complications of Ed's brain. We was supposed to stay last time but he went A.W.O.L.!

As we entered the room we were supposed to stay overnight in (yes, this one was also nearest the staircase for an easy escape if needed..Uggh) we did not even sit on the bed. I told the nurse of our situation and about the past issue with our escapee. I let her know of the sweet mentality and demeanor of Ed without these meds and the monster with them....he will be combative, he will escape, he will tired himself out with fustration. She called the attending to sign him out.

The attending came in and this is how his conversation started:

"Mr. G, I here you want to sign yourself out." (now yelling)...."DO YOU KNOW THAT IS VERY DISRESPECTFUL TO THE SURGEON THAT PREFORMED YOUR PROCEDURE?? Do you know the implications of what could happen??" Ed being half deaf and very medicated did not respond. He proceeded to ask in the nicest way he knew how, what kind of 'mental incapacities' he had that he did not understand and said it like Ed was not even in the same room. The nurse quickly responded he had brain mets. I told him he had no mental problems, he is almost deaf and quite medicated. Then he continued yelling that "......what you need to know...." Argh, I cannot believed he called my husband retarted twice!

That is where I came in, for Ed and for all others who may ever face this doctor or doctors like him. "Escuse me, what YOU need to know is that my best friend has stage IV cancer and he has fought hard and long for over 2 years, he is tired and in pain. He wants to go home and be comfortable! There is no disrespect intended! As his wife and best friend I need to tend to all his wishes, take him home and keep him safe! As an educated person I do know he should stay!"

I almost had the doctor laid up in the bed Ed had refused to take and then he returned to the room. His shaved head was beet red from frustration and his attitude changed. Against everything he believed he signed Mighty Oak out. He even wished us a Happy Holiday and best wishes. To this day I cannot get over the arrogance.

Not to make this post a novel I will end with one more note: As soon as you get the C-word added into your life you should get a green light for anything you desire. I now feel that even without the C-word we all should get anything within our means that will improve the happiness and quality of life. I did not ask for anything out of the realm of reason. My husband is real sick, he has fought hard, he wanted to go home to his diabetic cat. My job was to protect and serve this man with the same respect he has given me when I had my cancer! What is so wrong with that?>>Believe51

PS: I bought a new plate for Santa's cookies that says....you guessed it....

BELIEVE!!

Thanks for loving us so strong and true!

caya · 12-22-2008, 11:43 AM

Hi Marie,
Thanks for checking in with mostly good news - seems the mets are shrinking, except for the one"angry" one, which I hope will be gone as well ASAP.

Unfortunately, I have sometimes come across rude arrogant doctors in my time - I'm glad you put that SOB in his place - I doubt he would talk like that if it had been his father/brother/uncle/child in the bed instead of the Mighty Oak -

3 years ago when my DH was being misdiagnosed by every doctor and specialist around (he had a brain aneurysm, but was missing the most usual symptom - worst headache of your life), his GP was major arrogant with us - he said that "in no way was Allan's condition neurological", and that I (his wife) had "no business getting all these tests ordered "- CT scan, MRIs etc. Yeah well when DH finally got diagnosed by the most caring brilliant neuroradiologist around - I phoned that a**hole up and left a nasty message on his answering machine - We have to advocate and fight for ourselves and our loved ones wherever we are -

I wish you and Ed a very happy holiday Marie - you certainly deserve it.

all the best
caya

janieR · 12-22-2008, 12:34 PM

Marie,

You and Ed are wonderful. Your post made me cry.

I wish you both a very happy holiday. Take care of yourself Marie.

Janie

Mary Anne in TX · 12-22-2008, 12:54 PM

Hey Girl! Seems there are 2 "mightys" in the family!!!
Your story and adventure just reminds us of how important it is
to have doctors who respect us and someone to advocate for us when we're "in outer space" (I tend to live there for long periods of time)! I found myself cheering when you told the part about standing up for Ed, but I also could feel the energy that it must have taken to once more do battle for your guy!
I'm sure proud of you and awfully glad to call you friend. I'm sending along dreams of refreshment and pleasure to renew your energy and give you joy! And I'll keep on praying for you both as you walk the path of full-time BC superheroes! Much love, ma

Mary Jo · 12-22-2008, 01:33 PM

Not quite sure what to say or add that you don't already know Marie. So, I'll make it short and sweet....I love you Marie and Ed....... and....... I ask God to hold you SUPER DUPER close and I pray you feel that closeness and peace.

Love and hugs,

Mary Jo

Shobha · 12-22-2008, 04:31 PM

Marie, you are such a wonderful spouse and friend. Ed and you are lucky to have each other. When I read about your journey, I am truly inspired and draw strength from it.

You are both in my prayers and I wish you both a peaceful, joyous holiday season!

ita · 12-23-2008, 09:23 AM

Marie,

I don't know where to start. One, because of the good/not so good news. Two, because of how the doctor treated Ed and you. Three, because of how you responded.

The first: Can't help but to be positive, those new met will be gone.

The second: How do these people, because damn it they are still human (or at least they should be) treat someone, no matter how ill, with such disregard. There should be a required compassion class in med school. At the beginning and at right before graduation.

The third: I can't help but restate what I am sure has been said before. You are one amazing person. I only hope in my life I have a person (hopefully my hubby) who will stand up for me like that. You made me cry.

A very Merry Christmas to you. May you be rewarded 10 fold for the person you are.

G-d love you,
Ita

WomanofSteel · 12-23-2008, 11:27 AM

Marie, I am glad things went well with Ed. I am even happier that you put that arrogant doctor in his place. Home is the best place for recovery and if we need the docs or hospital we know when to get there. You my dear are a hoot! I hope one day to meet you, so I can shake your hand and give you a big hug! Hang in there Lady!

Hopeful · 12-23-2008, 09:14 PM

Marie,

I am so sorry that terrible doctor caused you both such anguish. Healers are supposed to heal, not tear you down. You and Ed are in my thoughts this holiday and I am wishing you all the best. Best of luck to you both with this latest treatment.

Hopeful

Lien · 12-24-2008, 02:40 AM

Hi Marie,
I'm glad the gamma knife went well. Sorry about the arrogant SOB though. I had a similar thing with my then 11 year old son. He was misdiagnosed and could have lost his leg. Only because I didn't trust him and went for a second opinion, did he get the right treatment. The original doc even refused to apologize to my son! He said it was an unlikely diagnosis for a child. Who cares? I had my bc at age 44. That was a difficult diagnosis too, but my doc picked up on it.

Anyway, cheers to you for standing up for your man! Docs need to know they are hired by us, and can be fired by us. For bad medical decisions, or for bad manners.

Sometimes it works to ask them: Please consider my next question very seriously. If this were your brother/sister/mother/child, what would you do? What tests would you perform? Which doctors would you consult?

The good ones will stop and think and give you an honest answer. The bad ones will have their answer ready like a Pavlov reaction.

Have a wonderful Christmas!

Jacqueline

Lien · 12-24-2008, 02:42 AM

Hmm. Made a couple of gramatical errors there, but you get the gist, don't you? I'm tired because the neighbours' dog barked all night. They left the poor thing alone in the house.
Jacqueline