How did this happen??

tricia keegan · 04-30-2008, 11:08 AM

I have a friend who was dx with me in 2005, she was feeling unwell recently and said she looked about four months pregnant as her stomach was so distended. On Feb 12th they dx liver mets and on Feb 23rd she died..all within two weeks!! I can't make sense of the suddeness of all this especially as we have both been doing so well. She had all the same tx I did but was hormone negative. I know of a lot of people in tx for years with liver mets and doing okay so just can't understand how this could have happened so fast.
I know everyone's different and there's no true answer to this one but just needed to vent. I only found out two days ago and am still in shock.
Thanks for listening.

Mary Jo · 04-30-2008, 11:24 AM

Dear Tricia,

I am so sorry to hear this. How truly sad. I am sad for you all as well.

Asking God to hold you close today and give you special peace.

Hugs to you friend,

Mary Jo

hutchibk · 04-30-2008, 12:02 PM

I am so sorry about the loss of your friend. I have started to learn that it's true that everyone's experience with cancer is individual to them and their body's biology based on their dx.

It makes me wonder if either she didn't complain about symptoms when they first started, or wasn't seeing the doctor regularly, or if they weren't following a regimen of prognostic indicators / doing regular scans. It sounds as though it was pretty far advanced when they found it.

Again, my heart and thoughts are with you at this heartbreaking time.

StephN · 04-30-2008, 01:53 PM

So very sorry for you and your warrior friend. I sympathize with your shock.

Liver mets can develop fast and furiously, as in my case. I had an ache develop in my side just at the time when I was having my quarterly blood work. My med onc was still monitoring me closely after adjuvent therapy.
I had only begun to feel a little bloated and my liver was then 60% full of tumors.

Depending on the location of the liver tumors, the situation can be more or less serious and treatable. You don't say if she had cancer spread in other areas. She could have had brain involvement or other.

Anothre example of why it really IS OK to complain about anything unusual.

AlaskaAngel · 04-30-2008, 02:22 PM

Tricia, I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, and for the suddenness that is so shocking, particularly since you shared the timing of treatment.

If it helps any at all, the liver is harder to investigate without the more spendy types of imaging. So docs are more likely to watch regular periodic lab tests if a patient is doing fairly well in general and that is usually pretty reliable. Perhaps either she or her doc were not doing those often enough.

I ponder sometimes on a personal basis the advantages and disadvantages of fast progression vs slow progression. I'm sorry this is such a difficult and sad time for you.

AlaskaAngel

chrisy · 04-30-2008, 02:38 PM

Oh Tricia, how shocking. It's tough to have an answer...when I was dx with mets it was so unexpected that looking for that wasn't even on the radar for my "follow up" exams. Somehow I developed minor gastro symptoms which led to the diagnosis and went away on their own. I think it was divine intervention because had this not been found for several more months I would have been "profoundly ill" in my doctors words.

It definitely agree with what others have noted - its so important to be diligent with follow up.

Sorry about your loss.

Chris

tricia keegan · 04-30-2008, 03:00 PM

Thank you all so much for replying,I hope I did'nt offend or upset anyone too much with this but I just had'nt come across this happening at such speed before. I have quite a few friends who are stage iv and doing well but this has shocked me to the core. It makes me wonder again about the lack of scan's in follow up care for early stage bc. My onc does'nt do them without symptoms and neither did Darra's. Steph there was no spread anywhere else, just her liver. Brenda, it does sound like it was quite advanced, we were both on six monthly check ups now as almost three years out. Darra played and coached tennis and was so incredibly healthy it was text book..never smoked or drank and exercised and ate well.
Maybe I was just getting a little complacant with exactly how fearsome this disease can be, thinking about it I suppose it was a blessing for her that it did happen fast.
I really appreciate all your kind words and sympathy, and from here on I think I'll be turning into the patient from hell when I see my onc!

Jean · 04-30-2008, 08:10 PM

Tricia,
I am so sorry to hear the news of your friend. It is so shocking and from reading Chrisy and Steph posts the help us to understand the rapid liver mets. I hope the coming days are kinder to you.

Regards,
Jean

Bill · 04-30-2008, 08:41 PM

Tricia, I am so sorry to hear of your friend's passing. I know how devastating that can be. I'm praying for comfort and Peace for you and her family. Please take care of yourself, Bill

hermiracles · 05-01-2008, 06:55 AM

Tricia so very sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. Understandable you are in such shock - it could be heartbreaking.
I've been getting liver pains lately - think I'll be getting them checked out more thoroughly on my next visit with the Onc on the 14th May.
Thinking of you Tricia - look after yourself - this can be such a shocking disease we deal with - we all need to be kind to ourselves eh?
Blessings
Hermiracles

tricia keegan · 05-01-2008, 11:59 AM

Thank you Jean and Bill for your kind words. Hermiracles, thank you too and I really hope you have clear scans and nothing to worry about in that dept! Yes, we all need to be aware always and take care of ourselves.
Thanks again, it's good to have people who understand how we feel when something like this happens.

dhealey · 05-02-2008, 04:32 AM

Tricia, I have a dear friend also who did not have breast cancer but had melanoma years ago. Last month he was not feeling quite well either and came to the doc's office I work at and had some test done. He was full of cancer everywhere. We sent him to an oncologist who told his wife they could bring him to remission. 3 wks later he was in a coma and died. It broke my heart how fast he went downhill. I pray for you as you grieve this loss. Peace be with you.

goops · 05-02-2008, 05:44 AM

Tricia - I am sorry for your loss. A similar thing happened to my aunt, she was feeling well enough to be active and went on a casino bus trip the day before she went to the doctor. The doctor put her right in the hospital when he saw her CT, she had Pancreatic cancer and was dead in less than 1 week. The thing that I kept telling myself is that if it was my time to die, I would want to go fast like she did. She was active until the last few days of her life - few people can say that.

I am truly sorry for your loss - you will be in my prayers.

Sheila · 05-02-2008, 09:05 AM

Tricia
I am so sorry that you lost your dear friend...it has been almost a year since my best friend passed away....she also went very quickly...just a reminder to all of us to remain vigilent...this disease gives no guarantees....I live my life, but am always checking anything out of the norm....you are both in my prayers....it is so sad how this disease picks and chooses the outcomes....none of us know.
Sending you a big hug.

lexigirl · 05-02-2008, 10:36 AM

Tricia,

I am sorry that you lost your dear friend. This disease is just so sneaky. Absoultely evil.

Sheila, I am thinking of you, too. I remember your posts about your bf and what a great friend you are. She was blessed to have you and you her.

Big HUgs,
Lexi

Sherryg683 · 05-03-2008, 08:54 PM

I am so sorry to hear of your friends passing. I am such a big advocate of having some sort of follow up scans after cancer. Even if doctors don't advocate them in early stages. Dermatologists don't advocate checking the hair for skin cancer unless there is family history, this is where my brothers melanoma was found, on his scalp. A quick 20 second exam could have saved his life. Don't tell me that if you catch something earlier it doesn't make a difference. I don't know if this would have made a difference with your friend but it seems to me that if they would have known about her liver mets, they could have been treated before it was too late. ...sherryg683