WHO takes you to treatment?

[SoCalGal]

I am finding it harder and harder for me, to ask my friends to accompany me to treatment. I feel like it is such an imposition - it takes about 4 hours of someone's time...and I have to admit, I am not at my most fun/best while getting infused - the premeds make me cranky, groggy and the whole thing makes me anxious.

So, I am procrastinating to ask, yet I just can't imagine sitting there alone.

For those who are in continuous treatment, do you go alone? And any tips on asking friends to accompany you? I am more than a bit stuck and it's getting to be that time again! Thanks.

[Sheila]

Flori
Over the years, I would have out used all my friends, so most of the time, about 99%, I go alone....it was nice when my sister and I have synchonized and could go together....just hate that she has to go. I have become best friends with an IPAD, and it keeps me occupied for the hours I am there...funny, I was just thinking today that since starting radiation, and making the drive daily, I see some people everyday on the interstate....hmmm, and now I have chemo friends AND road rage friends...truthfully, I have met some amazing women at chemo over the years....they know~~~

[SoCalGal]

Hi Sheila,
I don't like that answer :-)
I don't know if I can sit there alone, even with my ipad, mike & ike, etc. I am such a baby, every 3 weeks, and a little immature in between.
It's the frickin' premeds...Prior to pre-meds, I used to go it alone at times, and I could count on myself...but now, once the benedryl and ativan kick in, I am drunk and not in a good way. Thanks for the info and congrats on the 10 years. You really inspire me!

[jellybean]

Except for my first infusion, I have gone by myself. With the pre-meds, particularly benadryl, I just wanted to sleep, and so didn't want anyone else around that I would feel I had to entertain. Now, I just go for Herceptin, and I go on weekends. Because the infusion center is empty, I can make calls on my cell phone, as well as read the paper, etc.

I think the difficulty with pre-meds, is being able to drive home. I was fortunate to live walking distance from the infusion center.

I think it would be hard to ask a friend to come. Perhaps you could try to make it like a "date," a time to get together, chat, etc. If it is not a long drive from where you live, maybe different friends could each come for an hour or two.

[7andcounting]

I was going alone for awhile and I felt like the old saying about being alone in a crowd. Seemed everyone had someone with them and for the longest time the nurses would say almost nothing to me. It felt so invasive having them pump all this stuff into my body, but barely acknowledge me. Out of the blue a gal I met just told me one day that she was going to start going with me. Don't know what on earth caused her to do this. (she was heaven sent )

I have been going weekly for treatment since July. I was going every 3 weeks, but for now it's every week. It can get really frustrating at times b/c I sometimes feel like I live at the place....not to mention how the bills pile up b/c they are being generated weekly.

I hope you can find someone to go with you. It does seem to make the time go by faster when you are occupied, either with visiting or getting lost in a good magazine or book.

[chrisy]

Hi Flori,
I've always BEEN there alone, but when I was getting TCH with the premeds, I had people drop me off and pick me up. It was a lot easier then - it was right in my home town and 10 minutes from my home or work.

I don't mind the being alone - Ipad yes! and I keep myself busy..

Now that I'm about to go back on a real chemo, I'm not sure how I'll feel about it (or do it). To UCSF it's 150 miles round trip - so it's a different story. And I am concerned about driving. I guess I'll be figuring it out myself.

Last time my co-workers and staff took turns. 150 miles RT is a different story, but one of my managers thought it would be a great way to get one-on-one time! It might be fun to see who fights to get the post vs. pre "drunk" shift!

[StephN]

Dear Flori -
I almost always took myself. With a TV in each infusion booth, lunch, things to read, and the occasional snooze, warm blanket and all, the dosages went quickly.

Is it since your reaction to Herceptin that you need the premeds? This could change the complexion of the "going alone" part. If those particular premeds turn you into someone else, maybe you could mention that and see if there are alternatives that would have the desired effect with the drug, yet leave you at some semblance of Flori.

[sarah]

Hello,
I was lucky, when I was only on Herceptin, I could drive myself (40 mins - 20 on the highway, 20 on twisty country roads)for 6 years. I did find after a few sessions, I was extremely drowsy and so I sit for a while afterwards and have a coffee. Also I asked them not to give me pre-meds that would make me drowsy because I had to drive. Luckily I live in a country where I'm actually allowed free of charge to have a taxi take me to and from these sessions but I always felt too guilty to use them!!!
If you really can't drive yourself and you don't want to bug your friends, ask the hospital about support groups, there must be several in your area (are you in LA?) and maybe they can help or a church group - there are always volunteers out there, you just have to find them. Meanwhile think of something fun you can give your friends or sent them a mushy note!
Take care
Health and happiness
Sarah

[PinkGirl]

I was always alone during the treatment ... except for my nurse and another patient in the chair beside me ... but I never drove myself. Someone would drop me off and come and get me. Until I was on herceptin alone my treatments were long ... 4 to 6 hours. I wouldn't want someone to have to sit there with me that long. I slept, ate, read ... mostly slept. Maybe you could get friends to drop in for short visits ... help pass the time.

[SoCalGal]

I think I will try someone at the beginning and then someone at the end. And I will sit alone in the middle. (Definitely the premeds that make me unable to drive. And definitely the anxiety that makes me want a friend along.) I'm strong in-between but being at my infusions = regression to childhood. I am surprised by how many just go it alone. You all are my inspiration! Thank you.

[valleygirl]

SoCal, you should look for someone that is in the same boat. First week you can take them and than the following week they can take you. I'm sure if you ask the nurses they can let you know of someone who is in need of a ride and I'm sure they would enjoy someone sitting with them that is going through the same thing. I'm blessed to have my daughter take me. I have a 3 hour drive for chemo. There are so many times I wish I choose a treatment center closer to home,but I wanted the go to cancer treatment center of america

[mschwab]

With the exception of my first infusion, I go alone. I didn't have problems with pre-meds making me sleepy, so driving wasn't a problem for me. With the Herceptin only infusions, I don't get nay pre-meds.

I like the quiet time, and prefer not to have to entertain anyone else. I read on my iPad, watch TV and generally just relax. I regard it as my "me time" and a chance for a little internal focus.

Maryann

[Delaney]

I always drove myself and brought food, puzzles and my ipod to amuse myself in the chair, no privacy really so did not make calls. Am facing 10 days rads now, and then weekly chemo. have loaned my car to my daughter for work so my husband will drop and collect me now. Would not want him to wait with me, he would be so bored. I always find someone friendly to talk to and you will too.

[dchips1]

Check with your local American Cancer society advocates. they have a program where volunteers can help with transporting and have volunteers to "sit" with you .


Good Luck

Darita

[Jackie07]

My husband always drives me to my hospital appointment. But he never stays with me. (Especially after he had had some miscommunication with my oncologist.) The hospital is located right by the mall, so he takes the opportunity to 'walk' in the mall. I've been advised not to drive any more (had had a couple of minor car accidents), so someone has to drive me to the hospital.

I would read while on the infusion chair. The chemo chairs used to be lined against the wall around the nurses' station - now the hospital built private quarters for chemotherapy and the opportunity to socialize with other chemo patients is drastically reduced.

[ElaineM]

I always find rides to my medical appointments regardless of what they are for, because I don't have a car, but I am always by myself in medical offices. I prefer it that way, because I can get more done. I am a multi tasker. I can socialize with friends at other times. Also being alone makes it easier to concentrate on the things on my list that I need to get done while I am there.
I have 3 appointments tomorrow. Someone will drop me off and pick me up when I am finished.
I will bring something to read, my lunch, a thermos of tea, my afternoon snack and some yarn to untangle for a blanket project several of us are working on. I also requested a portable DVD and movie at one of the locations, so I guess I will watch that while I am there.
I have to run down to the pharmacy and the bank machine in the lobby in between appointments. I also have to pick up the physical therapists report to show my naturopath next week, so it will be a busy day.

[BonnieR]

Like many others, I found that I preferred being alone during treatment. However I live very close to the center so my husband could drop and pick up. The meds just made me too drowsy to be much company and I preferred the solitude and meditative time. Although I did strike up conversations with other patients. I always had my journal to write in, something to read, etc.
When it was just Herceptin, I drove myself the short distance.
As someone has suggested, maybe you could have 2 shifts, one to drop you off and stay awhile and another person to relieve them. But, of course, that doubles your dilemma of asking someone in the first place! I trust you to find a solution. And you just might find that you prefer your own company, period.
Keep the faith.

[dawny]

Aaawwww Flori, I want to come with you! I wish i could. My husband cane with me to all of my chemo's, but now I am on Herceptin alone, I have been by myself 3 times. The first time, I just wanted to cry, I felt sad and lonely. As I Am Stage 1V and willbe on Herceptin forever, I didnt want my husband to have to come all of the time. But I understand what you mean.

Dawn

[tricia keegan]

My hubby drove me there (I dont drive) but did'nt come in with me and waited in the car (at my request). I really felt I did'nt need anyone with me and preferred to doze or listen to music than chat to someone beside me unless it was a fellow chemo patient!

[SoCalGal]

I think the take home message is that I have to learn to be a big girl...not sure I'm ready to grow up that much!