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Old 07-22-2012, 11:30 AM   #1
Andrea Barnett Budin
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Finding your power...!


In 1998 my 4th stage lobular breast cancer erupted (after 3 yrs of calm). It recurred throughout my liver. Too many to count or do surgery on. What I had was inoperable and incurable. I would be on long term chemotherapy for the rest of my life.





My certainty and positivity dissolved. I felt crushed. Trapped in disbelief. Friends told me, You did it before, you'll do it again. I was devastated. I had run a triathlon and was not as strong or brave as I had been 3 yrs earlier.




I took Zoloft by day and Ativan at night and I read. I read books about conquering Souls and I tried, really hard to believe again. It wasn't working. Then, finally, 3 mnths after the 2nd dx, I gained my footing again. And in December of '98 I wrote my Prayer For Survival. I share it with All who'll read it.


What happened was -- I finally became reconnected with my Spirit! We are each a Spirit -- with a mind and body. I was misidentifying myself, as I did prior to July '95, when initially dx. PLEASE SEE MY POST BELOW FROM 7/20/12 for further explanation on this.

Now when feeling undone, and we all have those moments/days/months -- I read my prayer -- to reawaken my personal power. May my words help you reconnect, and become personally empowered. This is your birthright. Claim it!



You're not a hostage of misfortune! You're a Survivor. A shero. A warrior. You can do this.




Let your hugs and kisses linger...


Laugh often. Don't just smile -- beam (from your Soul, at your very core)...





PRAYER FOR SURVIVAL



I AM WOUNDED, BUT I WILL SURVIVE. I AM DEEP IN THE WOODS, BUT I AM NOT LOST. MY BODY ACHES WITH THE DEATH OF MY CANCER CELLS, BUT I AM STRONG, BRAVE AND DETERMINED. THE STORM WILL NOT TOUCH MY CORE. I WILL NOT LET IT! MY ESSENCE IS CALM AND POISED. MY WILL IS GREAT AND SHALL TRIUMPH. I WILL BE STEADFAST. THE BEST IS YET TO COME.

DELAY IS NOT DENIAL. THOUGH MY DESIRED RESULTS ARE NOT NOW AT HAND, THAT DOES NOT MEAN I HAVE FAILED. I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED IN THIS STRUGGLE. THE TANGIBLE EVIDENCE OF MY EFFORTS LIES BEFORE ME. MY INNER “KNOWING” TRUSTS THAT THIS IS SO. IT WILL BE. AS I EXPECT THE BEST, SO IT WILL COME. IT IS A UNIVERSAL LAW.

WHEN A GUSTY WIND BLOWS THROUGH MY LIFE, I WILL RETREAT TO MY CORE! I WILL NOT BREAK. MY SPIRIT WILL NOT BE BROKEN. THE CANCER IN MY BODY CANNOT TOUCH MY SOUL! I AM DILIGENTLY STANDING GUARD.

I WILL NOT MISTAKE WHAT I KNOW FOR ALL THERE IS. I AM NOT IN COMPLETE CONTROL, AND THAT IS OKAY. WHAT I CAN CONTROL ARE MY THOUGHTS AND HOW I WILL VIEW AND FACE THIS BITTER LOT. WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME DOES “NOT” DEFINE ME. IT IS HOW I RESPOND THAT WILL TELL WHO I TRULY AM. I AM A POSITIVE ENTITY. I WILL NOT ALTER MY BELIEF SYSTEM. I AM STRONG, BRAVE AND DETERMINED. I WILL SHOW OTHERS THE WAY. I WILL TEACH MY CHILDREN TO FACE ALL ADVERSITY WITH GRACE AND COURAGE. I WILL DO IT FOR MYSELF AND FOR THEM. THIS IS A CHOICE I CAN MAKE. THIS IS THE CHOICE I MUST MAKE. I WILL LEAD THE WAY, DIRECT MY STEPS, MY MANNER AND MY LIFE.

WHEN I AM GRIPPED BY THE SORROW OF NOT BEING HERE ON EARTH WITH MY FAMILY, I MUST ERASE THAT NEGATIVITY. WHEN I CAN ONLY THINK HOW SAD IT WILL BE NOT TO BE HERE WITH THOSE I LOVE, I MUST REPLACE THOSE IMAGES WITH JOY-FILLED ONES. I VIVIDLY SEE MYSELF DANCING, SMILING AND LAUGHING JOYOUSLY AT MY TWO YEAR OLD GRANDDAUGHTER’S WEDDING! I WILL TAKE ALL MY DREADFUL THOUGHTS AND FEARS AND TOSS THEM TO THE WINDS.

CANCER IS NOT THE ENEMY. “FEAR” IS MY GREATEST FOE! THE RAVAGING EFFECTS OF CHEMOTHERAPY ARE NOT MY ENEMY. THE CHEMICAL DRUGS ARE MY LIFELINE PULLING ME THROUGH THE ROUGH WATERS. I WILL NOT DROWN. I WILL KEEP MY HEAD HIGH. I WILL KNOW AND ENRICH MY GRANDCHILDREN.

I HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR, TO BE GRATEFUL FOR. I AM TRULY BLESSED. I AM SO LUCKY. I CAN WALK AND TALK. I CAN FEED AND BATHE MYSELF. I CAN THINK. THESE SIMPLE GIFTS BRING ENORMOUS QUALITY TO MY LIFE AND JOY TO MY WORLD. I MUST SEE THE SUBLIME IN THE ORDINARY ALL AROUND ME. AS I SEE THE RADIANCE OF LIFE, THE DARKNESS WITHIN DISSOLVES.

WHAT ONE MAN HAS DONE, ANOTHER CAN DO. I CAN DO THIS! IT HAS BEEN DONE BY SOME. IT IS POSSIBLE. I WILL RELAX, BE STILL FROM DEEP WITHIN, THROUGHOUT MY ENTIRE BEING. THE QUIET MIND IS OPEN TO WISDOM AND TRUTH. I WILL TAKE A LONG, DEEP BREATH, HOLD IT, AND SLOWLY LET IT GO. AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. PEACE WILL OVERCOME ME. I WILL QUIETLY VISUALIZE. THE POTENCY OF MY IMAGERY WILL TURN MY HOPES INTO REALITY. MY THOUGHTS HAVE THE POWER TO CREATE MY DESIRED DESTINY. PERSISTENCE IS MY MANTRA. I WILL SURVIVE. FOCUS. ENDURE!

I AM IN A PROCESS OF SPIRITUAL UNFOLDING. I MUST REMEMBER, WHEN ALL IS CALM, WE STAGNATE. I AM BECOMING MORE THAN I WAS, AND FOR THIS I AM GRATEFUL. THOUGH THIS WINDSTORM IS THE GREATEST CHALLENGE OF MY LIFE, I WILL STARE IT DOWN. I WILL DO MY VERY BEST. I WILL NOT GIVE IN, NEVER GIVE UP. MY HEART “KNOWS” THE TRUTH OF MY FAITH AND IT WILL GUIDE ME THROUGH. I AM NOT BEING TESTED; I AM BEING FORTIFIED. THERE ARE GREAT LESSONS TO BE LEARNED. I MUST NOT LET MY ATTENTION BE DIVERTED.

I MUST BE STRONG FOR THOSE WHO WILL COME AFTER ME AND WITH ME. I WILL MOVE AHEAD WITH MY HEART THOUGH MY HEAD SAYS IT CANNOT BE DONE. I AM HEALING BECAUSE I HAVE CHOSEN TO HEAL. LOVE FILLS MY SOUL. THE MORE I GIVE, THE MORE COMES BACK TO ME. THE POWER TO HEAL LIVES WITHIN ME. I MUST CHOOSE TO TAP INTO IT, NOT TO IGNORE ITS AWESOME FORCE, TO CONTINUALLY CALL UPON IT, TO FIGHT ON, EVERY HOUR OF EVERY DAY. I MUST REMAIN OPEN TO MIRACLES. THEY ARE THERE FOR THE ASKING!

EVERY THOUGHT IS A PRAYER. EVERY PRAYER IS A POTENTIAL MIRACLE.

I WILL BECOME A MIRACLE …… THIS I KNOW!

7/20/12 I posted this is the THIS IS MY NOW time thread:
July 24th marks my Satori Day. 4 years off of Herceptin -- and stable. NED. That is the date of my last Vitamin H infusion. After 10 years of dutifully going regularly to the chemo room. Keeping a vigil over my body.

The first few years I went weekly. (My onc told me that a study had been done in France finding that giving triple the dosage every 3 weeks was as effective. My fav onc told me this. My Inner Voice piped in. Wait 1 year. To be safe. My husband was totally on board. We will go every week, wait a year, then graduate to every 3 weeks -- if everyone is still alive.)

So now I am free. Living on the outskirts of cancerland. Still connected to my Sisters, bonded for eternity.

Praying for you to join me in this new neighborhood. I tell myself, HEALTHY AND WELL, NO MORE CANCER every single day. Still... Several times a day.

I want my body to hear my explicit instructions. And I want the Universe to take note as well. The power of our thoughts is awesomely mighty. Never forget that, Ladies. I love you all...

Andi
PS -- I had a moment of clarity, a stunning instance of Enlightenment -- the day before my mastectomy -- that totally altered my existence. It enriched my life in remarkable ways and will remain with me forever. It granted me joy and serenity even midst the turmoil my body and mind were experiencing. I KNEW I would survive. My Inner Voice (my Spirit) assured me of that on July 13, 1995 at around 4 o'clock in the afternoon of a most glorious and sun-filled day...
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Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...

Last edited by Andrea Barnett Budin; 07-23-2012 at 09:58 AM.. Reason: CAN I PUT -- FINDING YOUR POWER...! -- TITLE IN ALL CAPS please? And -- BOLD.
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Old 07-23-2012, 10:39 AM   #2
KDR
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Re: Finding your power...!

Andi,
We all needed this so much. Thank you, and like you, I wish the best for Nancy, always.
Love
Karen
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World Trade Center Survivor (56th Floor/North Tower): 14 years and still just like yesterday.
Graves Disease, became Euthyroid via Radioactive Iodine, June 2001.
Thyroid Eye Disease. 2003. Decompression surgery in 2009; eyelid lowering surgery in 2010.
Diagnosed: June 2010, liver mets. ER-/PR+10%; HER2+++.
July 2010: Begin Taxol/Herceptin. Eliminate sugar from diet. No surgery or radiation.
January 2011: NED
April 2011: Progression in liver only. Other previous affected areas eradicated. Stop Taxol/Herceptin after 32 infusions.
May 2011: Brain MRI: clear.
May 2011: Begin Tykerb daily, Xeloda twice per day for one week on, one week off, and Herceptin.
November 2011: Progression in liver. All other tumors remain eradicated.
December 2011: BEGIN TRIAL #09-093 Taxol, MCC-DM1 (T-DM1), Perjeta.
Trial requires scans every six weeks, bloodwork and infusions weekly.
Brain MRI: clear.
January 2012: NED. Liver mets, good riddance!
March 2012: NED. Developed SMA (rare blood clot) in intestinal artery and loss of sight in right eye due to optical nerve neuropathy. Resolved when Taxol removed this month.
Continue Protocol of T-DM1 weekly and Perjeta every 3 weeks.
May 2012: NED.
June 2012: Brain MRI: clear.
June-December 2012: NED.
December 2012: TRIAL CONCLUDED; ENTER TRIAL EXTENSION #09-037. CT, Brain MRI, bone scan: clear. NED.
January-March 2013: NED.
June 2013: Brain MRI: clear. CEA upticking; CT shows new met on liver.
July 3, 2013: DISASTER STRIKES during liver ablation: sloppy surgeon cuts intercostal artery and I bleed out, lose 3.5 liters of blood, have major hemothorax, and collapsed lung requiring emergency resuscitative thoracotomy, lung surgery, rib rearrangement and cutting deep connective tissue, transfusion. Ablation incomplete. This life-saving procedure would end up causing me unforgiving pain with every movement I make, permanently, otherwise known as forever.
July 26, 2013: Try Navelbine/Herceptin. Body too weak after surgery and transfusion. Fever. CEA: Normal.
August 16, 2016: second dose Navelbine/Herceptin; CEA: Normal. Will skip doses. Watching and waiting.
September 2013: NED, Herceptin only. CEA: Normal. Started Arimidex.
October-November 2013: NED. Herceptin and Arimidex. CEA, CA125, 15-3: Normal.
December 2013: Something brewing. PET lights up on little spot on liver; CEA upward trend, just outside normal. PET and triphasic liver scan confirm Little Met. Restart Perjeta with Herceptin, stay on Arimidex. Genomic sequencing completed for future treatments, if necessary.
January 2014: Ablate Little Met on the 6th. Happy New Year.
March 2014: Brain MRI: clear. PET/CT reveal liver mets return; new lung mets. This is not funny.
March 2014: BEGIN TRIAL #10-005 A(11)-Temsirolimus plus Neratinib.
April 2014: Genomic testing indicated they could work, they did not. Very strange drug combo for me, felt weird.
April 2014: Started Navelbine and Herceptin. Needed something tried and true, but had significant progression.
June 2014: Doxil and Herceptin.
July 2014: Progression. Got nothing out of it. Brain: NED.
July 2014: Add integrative medical hematologist-oncologist to my team. Begin supplements. These are tumor-busting, immune system boosters. Add glutathione, lysine and taurine IV infusions every three weeks.
July 2014: Begin Gemzar, Herceptin & Perjeta. Happy.
August 2014: ECHO perfect.
January 2015: Begin weekly Vitamin D Analog infusions. 25 mcg. via port.
February 2015: CT: stable.
April 2015: Gem working, but not 100%. Looking into immunotherapy. Finally, treatments for the 21st century!
April 2015: Penn Medicine. Dendritic cell immunotherapy.
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Old 07-23-2012, 11:43 AM   #3
sarah
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Re: Finding your power...!

Wow! very inspiring.
stay NED and keep enjoying life.
hugs and love
sarah
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Old 07-23-2012, 02:06 PM   #4
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Re: Finding your power...!

Andi,

I really needed to hear this today.

Amelia
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Old 07-24-2012, 03:35 AM   #5
Ellie F
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Re: Finding your power...!

Hi Andy
I always read your posts and find them uplifting. I know how contentious the mind/ body connection is not only in the field of cancer but other diseases as well. One of the arguments is that if positive thoughts could 'cure' disease then everyone would get well.However I don't believe this is what you're advocating. It seems to me that you believe that by changing your thoughts and belief and perceptions that you biologically assist your immune system in fighting disease? If the hypothesis that the immune system is a perceptional entity then it would make a lot of sense
Ellie
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Old 07-24-2012, 01:24 PM   #6
Andrea Barnett Budin
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Finding your power...!

Right on, Ellie!

In 1980 I had a kidney stone the size of Texas. Or so the x-rays and the urologist told me. I was told the stone was too big to pass on my own. I needed surgery. I didn't want surgery. I vowed to try and pass it on my own.

The urologist was game. I saw the plastic form on his desk, our innards from a urological perspective. He showed me where the stone entered the urethra and where it was presently. He showed me the long route it had to take to exit.

There were 2 intersections where the passage would be very tight. Those would probably be when I would find myself on the floor (as I had the night it left my kidney). I had never found myself sprawled on the floor, only able to whisper, in knife-stabbing pain deep inside.

I moved forward with a totally positive attitude. I drank 10 glasses of water a day. And strained my urine to catch the sucker and have it analyzed. I envisioned the stone moving along it's course. I KNEW that when I felt extreme pain (vs general tenderness/pain and nausea/renal colic) -- that meant the stone was on the move!!! Which was my goal!!!

So instead of tightening up all my muscles in response to the awful pain, I let it be, so as not to obstruct the stone from moving. I was giving birth to the thing!

After a month, I added jumping rope, to help jar the stone along, with guided imagery (recalling the plastic figure on the doc's desk) and willing it to move.

I saw the urologist and it was determined that the stone had moved but not enough. I doubled my efforts.

At 10 wks -- I passed my stone. I captured it and brought it to my urologist. He had a smile from ear to ear, beaming! He was in stunned disbelief. He didn't really think it could be done. But had encouraged me, knowing it was my desire to avoid surgery.

When dx w/bc I never thought I could avoid the surgery. Or the chemotherapy. But I fully intended to meditate and use guided imagery to assist! I made my Intention and Expectation clear -- to my body (which hears everything we think, say and whisper) and follows our commands as it is programmed to do.

I also made my Intention and Expectation clear to the Universe. The energy I allowed to linger in my body and my mind was full of LOVE, COMPASSION, KINDNESS, GENEROSITY, GRATITUDE AND AWE. Oh, and BELIEF in my power to call my desired goal to me.

I KNEW it already existed. I had to draw it to myself with the energy of my thoughts and images.

I KNEW that -- FEAR IS HUMANITY'S WORST ENEMY. Not the cancer, not your bodily dysfunction, or even pain. It's the FEAR such things generate in our hearts and thinking that cause us to become undone. Once we conquer the fear, we are on a path to victory.

The energy of negativity: Uncertainty, vulnerability, fragility, worry, dread and all the ugly details of those emotions (including visions we have) have to be sought out. We must troll our minds for any signs of such things, allow ourselves to momentarily experience them, and then consciously choose to reject them. They are toxins out to spoil our health and well-being.

And I do believe that positivity causes the immune system to function better.

Studies of those out of work, full of fear and worry, show T cell counts to continuously fall over months. Depression messes with your immune system. Sleepless nights interfere with your body's ability to repair itself.

And I do take some immune boosters, along with anti-oxidants to help keep my immune system at peak performance.

Loved your post, Ellie. So thoughtful and insightful!! Thank you for sharing with us all!
Andi
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Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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Old 07-25-2012, 11:33 AM   #7
Andrea Barnett Budin
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Finding your power...! FRESH PERSPECTIVES

Your mind makes happen what it sees.

Have you noted the focused strength of the one running in an Olympic race? See pure concentrated resolution and certainty as their stride lengthens and they speed up. See the passion!

How we think, how we talk to ourselves, the running dialogue in our minds, CREATES thinking patterns. And they will impact our moods and our anxiety levels, along with showing their mark on our body.

So healing our thoughts and our psychological wounds is essential to our wellness (physically and mentally).

Your Spirit connects you to a Higher Power, to your personal empowerment, to others, to past generations and the future of our planet. It is your connection to your Spirit that grants sanctity to everything you say and do.

Begin by re-identifying yourself. You are a radiant Spirit with a mind and a body. You are the Witness. The one observing.

Midst chaos around me, I consciously seek to become The Witness, to firmly connect with my Spirit. To rise above it all. To reach for my Higher Self...
Andi
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Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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Old 07-26-2012, 04:26 AM   #8
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Re: Finding your power...!

Love you AndiBB!
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Amanda xx
40 year old Mum to three gorgeous kids - son 5 and daughters 8 and 11
Wife to my wonderfully supportive husband of 17 years!
22 February 2011 - Diagnosed Early Breast Cancer IDBC Stage2b (ER/PR -ve, Her2+ve +++) - 38 years old
(L) skin sparing mastectomy with tissue expander, axilla clearance (2/14 affected) clear margins.
Fec*3, Taxotere and herceptin*2 - stopped due to secondary diagnosis

June 24 2011 Stage IV - Skin met, axilla node, multiple lung lesions

Bolero3 trial - Navelbine, Hereptin weekly, daily Everolimus/Placebo
February 2012 - July 2012 Tykerb and Xeloda - skin mets resolved, Lungs initially dramatically reduced but growing again
August 2012 (turn 40!) tykerb and herceptin (denied compassionate use of TDM1) while holidaying in Italy!
September 2012 - January 2013 TDM1 as part of the Th3resa trial - lymph nodes resolved, lungs slowly progressing.
January 2013 - herceptin, carboplatin and Perjeta (compassionate access)
April 2013 - Some progression in lungs and lymph nodes - Abraxane, Herceptin and Perjeta
July 2013 - mixed response - dramatic reduction of most lung disease, progression of smaller lung nodules and cervical and hilar nodes - ? Add avastin.
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Old 07-26-2012, 06:32 AM   #9
Ellie F
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Re: Finding your power...!

Hi all
On the subject of immune systems and cancer been reading an article about depression of the immune system in medical students around exam time. The researcher, an immunologist had taken blood weeks before the exams and then compared it to samples taken during the course of the exams and then three weeks later. Guess what, the samples showed depletion of the fighting ability of white blood cells during the stressful exam time and took some time to return to normal. This isn't anecdotal as it was backed by blood screening. What the article went onto suggest was that if this depletion continues for any length of time it may give a tumour a foothold in the body. I also was left wondering if other types of stress ( physical, environmental, chemical) may do the same and also if there was an element of several factors coming together at the same time.
Ellie
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Old 07-26-2012, 01:44 PM   #10
Andrea Barnett Budin
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Finding your power...!

I'm reading Reinventing Medicine, by Larry Dossey, M.D. Fascinating! It touts "Beyond Mind-Body to a new era of Healing" on the cover.

Emotions are associated with medically significant changes in the body, Dossey writes. Researcher Paul Ekman of the Univ of Calif San Fran, has shown that people who willfully contort their facial muscles into expressions of happieness, fear or anger will soon come to feel happiness, fear or anger. To me, FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT comes to mind. I've heard that for some time. I believe it.

Immunologist Nicholas Hall and his colleagues have reported immune changes associated with acting! Their findings suggest that acting is more than an act; it exerts effects on the body that may have important consequences for our health.
'
They measured changes in the immune systems of two actors before, during and after they performed in two plays. One was a madcap comedy, Lucy Does a TV Commercial,. The other was a serious play whose main tone was depression, Peter Barnes's It's Cold, Wanderer, It's Cold, which is set in turn-of-the-century Russia during the days of the revolution. It takes place in a prison cell on the eve of the execution of an assassin.

The researchers started drawing blood and measuring the heart rate of the two performers before they even received the scripts. They monitored the actors through rehearsals and during all subsequent performances. The plays were presented at the same time of day, before a different live audience, daily for 2 wks.

Hall and his colleagues measured the responsiveness of immune cells called T- and B-lymphocytes. The data suggested a correlation between the type of personality being performed and immune responsiveness. After the Lucy comedy, the female performer showed increases in her immune functions. After she performed a depressing role in the drama, these measures were diminished.

The male performer projected an anxious personality in the comedy as well as in the serious play. His immune function decreased following both performances.

Dossey asks, If we identify with actors who are performing anxious or depressing roles, will we experience decreases in our immune function? Are comedians healthier than tragedians?

He refers to our picking up on others' emotions (or energy) as nonlocal. And he says it is a fact, not a choice.

If Shakespeare was correct, Dossey points out, in asserting that the world is a stage, then we're all actors and every life is an act. The question becomes which role shall we play?

I consciously chose not to think of myself as a victim. I am a survivor. That's the role I've been playing since '95. And interestingly enough, as I project this hard-found inner strength and courage, others tell me, You're amazing. Huh, I think. Me?? They say the loveliest things to me and that in turn prods me to keep up the good work. The whole attitude thing feeds on itself.

And, I believe, helps boost my immune system.

Acting is more than an act. It's an exercise in being. We have to choose our roles carefully and exercise caution with whom we identify. As writer Marguerite Yourcenar says, "The mask, given time, comes to be the face itself".

Dossey says "Nonlocal events have local consequences." They "Leave their tracks in the body. Their effects are real. The arts are more than entertainment; they affect the body". "Art is derived from the Latin artis, meaning 'to join' or 'fit together'. The essence of nonlocality is the joining and fitting together of things that appear separate. Nonlocality is art and art, nonlocality."

We pick up on events like the Colorado horror. There is a mob mentality. Fans evoke and emit emotions and things can go well, happily, or turn into a stampede. When an audience laughs, we all feel we are having fun and doing it together, even with strangers.

Very fascinating topic, no?

Andi
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'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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Old 07-26-2012, 08:16 PM   #11
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Re: Finding your power...!

I love Larry dossey. His book Healing Words is fascinating.
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June 2002 extensive hi grade DCIS (pre-cancer-stage 0, clean sentinal node) Mastectomy/implant - no chemo, rads. "cured?"
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06/07 8/07 10/07 Scans show stable, continue on Tykerb/Avastin
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Old 07-27-2012, 02:10 AM   #12
Ellie F
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Re: Finding your power...!

Thanks Andrea,have just ordered the book.Feel like our understanding of immune function is still in its infancy. I had this same conversation with my onc earlier this week she was of the opinion that until clinical trials look at both drug interaction AND immune response we won't get a cure!

Ellie
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Old 07-27-2012, 09:10 AM   #13
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Finding your power...! THE POWER TO HEAL...

Hi y'all!

Larry Dossey's book Healing Words begins with "...we thought we had given away to doctors and priests our ability to heal. But here it was, still in our possesion..." "...we were more than we had thought we were." A quote from Alvar Nufiez Cabeza de Vaca to the king of Spain, early sixteenth century.

We possess the power to heal. Yes, surgeries and medications and chemotherapies are fantastic advancements. But at our core, we can converse with our bodies and instruct them to heal. The body's main function is to be your servant, following orders from the command center.

Who is telling the mind to instruct the body? I believe it is the Soul. Or Spirit.

Andi
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'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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Old 07-28-2012, 02:45 AM   #14
Ellie F
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Re: Finding your power...!

Book arrived this morning! Good old Amazon. Looking forward to some interesting thoughts and ideas.
Ellie
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Old 07-28-2012, 02:00 PM   #15
Andrea Barnett Budin
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Re: Finding your power...!

Positive intentionality is immensely empowering. The effects of consciousness in medicine, athletes in the "zone" and even animals and other life forms challenges everyday assumptions.

WISDOM AND ANSWERS AREN'T ALWAYS A MATHEMATICAL FORMULA BASED ON LOGIC.

Enjoy Larry Dossey's writings, Ellie! Every word. (I read with a pen, underlining, with arrows for extra emphasis and stars. I make notations in the margins.)

I can't help myself. I revere books, and I must apologize to the book gods, but this is essential. I devour the information. Ingest it. Synthesize it. Process it. (I do only buy paperback. Don't know if I could be so brash with hard cover... )

Amazon is sensational. I agree. Gets you what you need in a hurry...

All that we see and know is not all there is...
Andi
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'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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Old 07-28-2012, 06:44 PM   #16
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Re: Finding your power...!

Located an abstract of his most recent study:

Explore (NY). 2010 Sep-Oct;6(5):295-307.
Nonlocality, intention, and observer effects in healing studies: laying a foundation for the future.

Schwartz SA, Dossey L.
Source

Samueli Institute, USA. saschwartz@earthlink.net

Abstract

All research domains are based upon epistemological assumptions. Periodic reassessment of these assumptions is crucial because they influence how we interpret experimental outcomes. Perhaps nowhere is this reassessment needed more than in the study of prayer and intention experiments. For if positive results from this field of research are sustained, the reality of nonlocal consciousness must be confronted. This paper explores the current status of healing and intention research, citing a number of major studies and using the "Study of the Therapeutic Effects of Intercessory Prayer (STEP) in Cardiac Bypass Surgery Patients: A Multicenter Randomized Trial of Uncertainty and Certainty of Receiving Intercessory Prayer" as a case study of this line of research. The paper argues that the dose-dependent model typical of drug trials, and adopted for use in the STEP and other studies, is not the optimal model for intention-healing research, and critiques this approach in detail, citing apposite research from which we draw our recommendations and conclusions. The paper suggests that the usual assumptions concerning blindness and randomization that prevail in studies using the pharmacological model must be reappraised. Experimental data suggest that a nonlocal relationship exists among the various individuals participating in a study, one which needs to be understood and taken seriously. We argue that it is important to account for and understand the role of both local and nonlocal observer effects, since both can significantly affect outcome. Research is presented from an array of disciplines to support why the authors feel these issues of linkage, belief, and intention are so important to a successful, accurate, and meaningful study outcome. Finally, the paper offers suggestions for new lines of research and new protocol designs that address these observer-effect issues, particularly the nonlocal aspects. The paper finally suggests that if these effects occur in intention studies, they must necessarily exist in all studies, although in pharmacological studies they are often overshadowed by the power of chemical and biological agents.
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Old 08-03-2012, 10:05 AM   #17
Andrea Barnett Budin
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Finding your power...!

When you speak authoritatively and with conviction to the irrational movement of your deeper self (your subconscious mind) -- you will become flooded with harmony and peace.

The subconscious is subject to the conscious mind. It is your subconscious. It subjugates itself to YOU, its master, the one in command.

Consciously choose what you want and desire and let that energy flow -- to your body, to your subconscious mind, and to the Universe itself.

As Emily Dickinson said, DWELL IN POSSIBILITY...

I ask you -- What would you attempt to do if you KNEW you could fail...???

Know what you want. Own it. Live it. Now...

Love,
Andi
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'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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Old 08-04-2012, 02:24 AM   #18
Ellie F
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Re: Finding your power...!

Hey Andi
Love the statement about being master of your own subconscious! Sometimes it doesn't feel that way especially when gripped with fear and anxiety and lots of 'what ifs' .As you have pointed out before shifts in perception and thinking take lots of time and lots of effort. We have lost lots of sisters on this board that have been very positive thinkers but I believe instructing the body and immune system is something else. Not quite sure we are there yet in harnessing the potential but sure we have got to carry on trying!
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Old 08-04-2012, 01:01 PM   #19
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Finding your power...!


When the voice in your head (which is the ego or separate self) fills you with fear and anxiety and what ifs -- and thus provides horrid pictures on our mental screen -- we must resist.

Such thoughts and imagery make us feel rotten, and worse and worse. It effects our T cell count and brings our immune system down, it causes chemical changes that are unfriendly to our well-being -- physically and mentally.

Emotions are preceded by our thoughts.

When we are able to instead reach for our Higher Selves, our Truest Selves, we are connecting with Spirit. We are aligning ourselves, and identifying ourselves as a Spirit, or Soul, with a mind and a body.

For me it was a gradual evolution and of course I have miles and miles to go yet.

Today I had to take my dogs to the vet for their annuals. My husband is having double vision/6th cranial nerve palsy and is wearing an eye patch. So I had to drive. I hate to drive. But I do when I have to.

The vet is a half hr away and my husband said to take the Turnpike. I no longer do Turnpikes. They cause panic attacks. But it is so much faster.

The dogs were yelping nonstop in the back seat. I was clutching the steering wheels with sweaty palms. I was talking to myself (under the music I was playing, to try and calm me).

I am the Witness. I am above myself, looking down. I am Spirit. I am the Universe. I am the All. I am in the sky. (It was a gorgeous blue with some fair weather clouds.) The sky is a magnificent expression of the Almighty. I am the sky.

This was my dialogue, my inner dialogue that I felt the need to murmur a bit out loud. With the yelping and the music and being almost 75, my husband couldn't hear me.

I had moments of completely setting myself free from the anxiety. Enough so that we got there and we were all in one piece. Enough so I had some blissful moments midst the craziness that was playing out in my head.

When we got home, I went out shopping, returning stuff and in the cacophony of energy that pervades the mall. Good and bad. All real. All a part of life. I felt light and joyful. Smiled, chatted with some, as I am prone to do.

I consciously stopped the voice in my head from prattling on and on. I took charge. As best I could. I listened to my Inner Voice. My Spirit. Which guides and protects me and loves me even more than I love myself. I trust it implicitly.
Andi
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Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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Old 08-09-2012, 02:13 PM   #20
Andrea Barnett Budin
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Finding your power...!

Your mind makes happen what it sees.

Visualize. In vivid detail exactly what you desire. See yourself far far into the future. At a special occasion. Feel the moment. Draw what you want to you with the energy of your thoughts and visualization.

It already exists. In another realm. Help manifest it on the physical plane. Live AS IF. As if what you want is already here. It is, in fact, on its way to you as you read these words.

The power of your thoughts is mighty. Claim your power. Feed your dream in every detail. Help create your destiny. Choose the path you truly want to be on. You have that power of choice.

Let love, compassion, kindness, generosity of Spirit, awe and gratitude fill you up and flow from you in every minute of every day.

It's enormously healing. And it all comes back to you. I promise...

Andi
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Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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