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Old 12-05-2006, 11:05 AM   #1
RhondaH
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Question ***HOW/WHEN do you get over the nervousness of seeing your oncologist???***

I had my last Herceptin on 8/10/06 and the "followup plan" is to see my surgeon and oncologist every rotating 6 months, so I will see one or the other every 3 months. I am SOOOO nervous to see my onc (not so bad w/ the surgeon as he doesn't do bloodwork like the oncologist). I am feeling fine though sinuses are bad, but STILL paranoid...Advise. Take care and God bless.

Rhonda
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Rhonda

Dx 2/1/05, Stage 1, 0 nodes, Grade 3, ER/PR-, HER2+ (3.16 Fish)
2/7/05, Partial Mastectomy
5/18/05 Finished 6 rounds of dose dense TEC (Taxotere, Epirubicin and Cytoxan)
8/1/05 Finished 33 rads
8/18/05 Started Herceptin, every 3 weeks for a year (last one 8/10/06)

2/1/13...8 year Cancerversary and I am "perfect" (at least where cancer is concerned;)


" And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."- Abraham Lincoln
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Old 12-05-2006, 01:18 PM   #2
Ruth
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Hi Rhonda ~ I wish that I could stop your fear right now but only can offer to you that it is completely normal and does subside somewhat with time. I was on a 3 month schedule for a year and now am at the 6 month schedule. My last Herceptin treatment was in 2004 yet I still get an upset stomach and sweats when I go to "the office". I am sure it relates to the memories of the place; many, many great ones, but then, also the place where bad news is given. I found that when I get a massage and/or facial before my appointment it has helped me relax and I can be more myself. After I see my Onc., I walk around and talk to all my favorite nurses and technicians. Seeing all of them so happy to see me makes my day. They live a continuous existence of losing friends that they have come to care for and to see someone who is doing well makes them happy. I usually get pulled into a room to give advice or a confidence booster to someone who is new to this disease and it makes my two visits a year not so dreadful.

We will always carry this moment in time with us no matter where we go in our lives, it just gets brought into bright focus when we revisit the places where we were given external power to fight for survival. I don't post too often but have often read what you have to say...you will be OK. Fear lurks intensly at first but it certainly subsides and if I can say "matures?" with time. I will always have a shadow of fear in my life but my strength having lived with this for 3 1/2 years has given me an edge over who I was before. Fear doesn't rule anymore....life does!

Have faith and hope that it will get better. What you are feeling is normal & will get better.

Peace & love ~ Ruth
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Diagnosed 6/03 nursing daughter
Dose dense A/C 4x
Modified rad mast 8/03
IDC; 3 cm; 10+/16 nodes; ER/PR-; Her2+++
Weekly taxol w/Herceptin (off label) 12x's
40 weeks Herceptin
Radiation 33x
Reconstruction w/ implants 05 & 07
NED
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Old 12-05-2006, 01:48 PM   #3
juanita
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I wish I could give you a definite time frame but I can't. I finished herceptin at the end of June and alternate now in who I see. The night and morning before I am so nervous I feel like I could be sick. I was that way when I had my mammo in August. I'm sure (fingers crossed) it will get better over time. My family doc said it was like post-traumatic stress. Hang in there!
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Old 12-05-2006, 03:20 PM   #4
KellyA
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Dear Ruth,

I cannot tell you how you brightened my world today. I loved what you wrote about seeing the oncologist and thought that you shared very positive, strong insight. Even more, I read your signature and felt like I was reading my own, only you are 3 years further down the road. You gave me so much hope- thank you for posting.

Love,
Kelly
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dx'd 05/06, 37 years old
er/pr-, Her2+, grade 3
double mastectomy, immediate reconstruction- implants
Stage 2b, 2 tumors- 2.2 cm and 0.6 cm, 3/5 + nodes
all scans clear
genetic testing- negative
06/06 began dd A/C x 4, 12 weekly Taxols w/ Herceptin
30 rads
Herceptin weekly x 1 year
Herceptin completed 08/07
Port removed 12/26/07 MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!
05/17/08 Two year anniversary NED

"We gain strength, courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... you must do the thing that you think you cannot do."

-Eleanor Roosevelt

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Old 12-05-2006, 08:35 PM   #5
Bev
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Thanks for another viewpoint, Ruth,

I was thinking that I would never go back to the infusion rooms or see the nurses again. I realize I'm thinking too much about how I'll feel and not about how others feel.

I'll still get anxious over the diagnostic tests and my brain always goes blank when I'm in a room with a doc. One step at a time. BB
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Old 12-05-2006, 09:05 PM   #6
margaret
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Celebrating my 5 year checkup this Fri with my onc.

Thanks for starting this thread. I do a blood test tomorrow and then see my onc on Friday. I am very very grateful! I have a teeny tiny bit of fear but mostly it is just a formality. The fear subsides with time. I only go once a year now and I really live my life looking forward. I feel great and I'm living life to the fullest.
Margaret stage 3b in 2001 now feel cured!
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Old 12-06-2006, 05:51 AM   #7
saleboat
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Hi Rhonda,

I have no idea if it ever goes away, I'm just not there yet. But I try to concentrate on the facts that I do know-- I look at the Herceptin studies, and I scroll through this site and others for long term survivors-- (THANK YOU RUTH!!!). It gives me confidence that this is behind me. I like my Onc and the staff, and I try to use it as an opportunity to show them how well I'm doing, despite all the horrible things they did to me!!! I'm also taking a course on meditation this weekend-- (does the recovery process ever end?) to try and give me a tool to deal with the anxiety that sometimes visits.

Good luck Rhonda. This stuff just isn't easy, is it?

Jen
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dx 4/05 @ 34 y.o.
Stage IIIC, ER+ (90%)/PR+ (95%)/HER2+ (IHC 3+)
lumpectomy-- 2.5 cm 15+/37 nodes
(IVF in between surgery and chemo)
tx dd A/C, followed by dd Taxol & Herceptin
30 rads (or was it 35?)
Finished Herceptin on 7/24/06
Tamox
livingcured.blogspot.com

"Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow." -- Helen Keller
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Old 12-07-2006, 09:16 AM   #8
Jean
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The worst is over,

Dear Rhonda,
the worst is over and behind you, you have already lived through the hard times
and you had the stamina to overcome it all.

Just remember your positive outlook that you always bring to the site (you
certainly pulled me up many a time dear friend)...

I have learned that this disease is a true monster - from the moment we hear the dx and all through the treatment, and if that is not enough it haunts us daily
with the threat of return. Now that you have completed treatment enjoy your
beautiful son and treasure each day. We see life differently now and lucky us
we understand and know what is truly important.

Hugs,
Jean
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