Bad Pet. I need you.

[michka]

Hi Friends.
I am writing through my tears. I am devasted. I just had the results of Pet/Scan. Pet/Scan that I asked for although my liver MRI was OK a month ago and although my last PET/Scan was done in October and was OK. My CA15.3 tumor markers were slightly over normal (28-30) and I didn't like that. I insisted and I was unfortunately right.
Results:
-multiple very small spots in lungs (biggest 0.9cm3 SUV max 2.9)
-one spot in liver, same place as one of the old tumors (1cm3, SUV max 4)
-Lymph nodes in "anterior mediastinum" (one 2.7cm3 SUV max 12.3 second 1.7cm3 SUV max 9.2)
-Lymph nodes "lombo aortique" region and liver hilium (biggest 0.7cm3 SUV max 4.2)

All this is bad, very bad.
I do not know why they indicate cm3 and not cm.

Bones: nothing. No trace in sternum. Sternum completely normal. (well, this means that Cyberknife is a very good option. I am happy to share
this with you since very very few patients have tried it yet).

All this means that the stupid cancer is winning. I do not know what to do. TDM1? It is VERY VERY difficult to get in a trial in France because they are only starting. Did TDM1 help anyone on lymph nodes? Taxanes? I had Taxol that did not work at all in neoadjuvant treatment. Can a taxane work although it did not before? Did anyone have results with Pertuzumab?
What do you suggest?

My head is exploding I just would like to wake up from this nightmare.
Please forgive my English and my translations of medical terms but my head is not functioning.
Please forgive me for not posting these last weeks and for not supporting others who are suffering. I read all the posts but I was so afraid of the coming Pet/Scan that I could not give hope. I saw Sheila's post. Our wonderful Sheila. 10 years. Terrific but that doesn't count. I want dozens of other years for her. I saw the pictures and felt like tearing apart the mask on her face and body. She deserves the best. Not that. But I am hoping with all my strength that it will work. I am also with Jessica, Karen, Courtney... and too many others.

I have so many things to do yet. One of my sons is 27. He is pulling out of drugs. I am helping him every day. He is winning that fight and I am so proud of him for that but if he learns I am in a bad state again, I am afraid he will collapse. So I will hide it from him the longest possible.
I suffered so much from chemo each time that I don't feel I can take another one and chemo and herceptino never worked for me.

Love to all.
Michka