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Old 09-09-2013, 01:50 PM   #1
Andrea Barnett Budin
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A simple formula for changing the future


A SIMPLE FORMULA FOR CHANGING THE FUTURE

You can choose to accept the future as you now see it. Which renders you blind to what otherwise you could see.

To see what is invisible you must first become unencumbered from the evidence of your senses and what your mind tells you is and will therefore be so, in accordance with reason. To blossom -- you must open...

Sit or lie comfortably without any sounds distracting you. Close your eyes. See an imaginary square before you on your mental screen. In the lower left hand corner of the square, take in a life-affirming breath through your nostrils. Focus only on your breath. Move to the upper left hand corner of the square before you and hold on to the air you have inhaled. Feel your lungs fill and wait, feeling yourself become firmly grounded in the Present moment.

Move to the upper right hand corner of the square before you and slowly blow the air out through your pursed lips. Hear it whoosh as you kiss it , and all that is negative and fixed in your mind, GOODBYE...

As you move to the lower right hand corner of the square, see the air float up and away from you inside a large silver balloon with a curling streaming ribbon holding it tight. See it disappear into the stratosphere. Lift your chin up. And smile from your radiant Spirit which dwells at your very center.

Envision something you desire deeply, such as health and wellness. If that were your reality now, how would you feel? Experience those feelings -- now. Shut out all other sensations. Focus on the state you desire. Concentrate all your attention on the invisible reality you wish to be yours. Facts and irritating statistics are not your story. Choose not to believe in that story. Refuse to believe in the story that seems to be presenting itself to you and scaring you.


As your Soul overpowers your mind, your spiritual outlook will become elevated. You'll begin to see the world through the eyes of your Soul. You will be enabled to penetrate beyond the world of sense and to see the invisible!

You're harnessing the ability to reshape your future in harmony with the thoughts most prevalent in your mind and the sensations that you would experience were your dream to actually become so.

This is in accordance with Universal Law, as yet not codified. And is for the good of All...

Desire is the mainspring of action. You could not move a single finger without desire. Once, after six weeks of being bedridden, recovering from nine months of ravaging chemotherapy, I heard a song on the television, midst my fugue. To my amazement, too weak to speak or move, I saw my pointer finger rise and sway in rhythm to the compelling tune. I smiled, delighted. I had come back to life!

No matter what, we follow the desire which at the moment dominates our minds. The music motivated me to partake in it. Our Spirit speaks to our mind, which in turn provides a dialogue with our body. The key to progress and fulfillment of dreams lies in ready obedience to desire's voice.

Your body's role is to follow your commands. Everything you think, say or whisper is heard by your body, and responded to precisely. It is very literal. It has no sense of humor. This or that is killing me -- are words I have learned to never utter. I'm just afraid that -- is another phrase I have expunged from my mental chatter. Because it means fear has taken hold, whereas love is mightily healing. We do indeed have nothing to fear but fear itself, in times of war and at all times...

You have the power to consciously choose to live AS IF. Live as if your desired dream were so. Live with joy and serenity, Knowing what you have sent out the energy of your thoughts and emotions toward is making its way to you at this very moment.

You have the power to consciously choose to live AS IF. Live as if your desired dream were so. Live with joy and serenity, Knowing the energy of your thoughts and the emotions you feel toward such a reality are making their way to you at this very moment. Thoughts and emotions are made of energy. Energy is transmitted by you, felt by others, responded to by your body, sensed and reflected back to you by the Universe itself.

Once you have assumed the feelings of your wish fulfilled, then you will begin to live it and act with conviction on it, hence unleashing an -- alteration of your future, in harmony with loving Intention and grateful Expectation!



Your four-dimensional Self will find ways for this to occur. The power of the energy of your focused thoughts and passionate emotions will co-create your prophecy, rearrange atoms and find methods of manifesting your dream.

Assumptions awaken what they affirm. As you experience in imagination what you wish to experience in the flesh, you will be calling your desired outcome to you. Your experience of the end result wills the means. The four-dimensional self constructs the means necessary to realize the accepted end.

Self-proclaimed realists find it difficult to assume a state which is denied by the trained mind and the senses. But with imagination (as Einstein often told us) we can call things which are not seen as though they were. All things that exist cannot be seen. And have the force to alter our lives. Imagination is greater than education.

Mystics have proclaimed this over the centuries and throughout the world. Much of what I believe I learned from modern day sages, Ken Wilbur, Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra and Neville. These words are theirs. And they have become mine. So much so I can no longer seem to differentiate theirs from my own. What I have learned has resonated so profoundly that I found myself remembering what I never knew I knew. These are Knowings I cherish and feel urgently that I must share!

Begin with desire. Define your objective. KNOW definitively what you want and project it. Construct an event which you believe you would encounter following the fulfillment of your desire. The event which implies the fulfillment of your desire must be envisioned in vivid detail with you as the central character. See yourself glowing with happiness, surrounded by love, full of gratitude and generosity of Spirit.

What sounds do you hear? What specifically are you doing? What are you observing. Know the moment as if you were truly in it! Feel as you would right this moment. Participate in the imagined actions of the activity. Direct it, choreograph it, produce it. And keep repeating all this daily, monthly, ad infinitum... In meditation. Sitting or laying comfortably. Doing square breathing until you are ready to venture into a dimensionally larger world. Let it play out again and again and again permeating your consciousness and your sub-consciousness. Let it play over and over like a lullaby. Feel the gratitude and ebullient soaring sensations you would experience upon reaching your goal.

The feeling of reality will harden into facts. The constant idea will permeate your beingness, direct your behavior and your words.

The observation of an event before it occurs implies that the event is predetermined in our three-dimensional space. To change the conditions here we must first change them in the four dimensions of space. Time is a fourth way of measuring an object.

Move along Time's length and see the future and alter it! A more fundamental world exists. Let the object of your contemplation become a concrete objective reality. Bring about an externalization of Time. There is the world we know by reason and the world we perceive independently, if we dare to imagine...

Make elsewhere here. The future is now. Inhabit a dimensionally larger world! "Now" in a dimensionally larger world is equivalent to here in the ordinary three dimensional space of everyday life. You are in effect consciously projecting your Spiritual Self.

The action you are actually performing in the fourth-dimensional world will be re-enacted in the future, here in the third-dimensional world. What you do in the Spritual Realm will then occur here on the Physical Plane.

Sports figures, Olympic Medalists and Survivors of horrid realities in effect do just this. Garner YOUR own celebration of Life by envisioning it as I've described.

Andi

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Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...

Last edited by Andrea Barnett Budin; 09-10-2013 at 11:21 AM..
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Old 09-09-2013, 04:20 PM   #2
'lizbeth
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future

Wow AndiBB your timing is uncany. I had something that is really bothering me today, worries about the future.

I will try your square technique.
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Old 09-10-2013, 06:24 AM   #3
NEDenise
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future

Andi,
Very heady stuff! But well written, as usual!

I truly don't live in fear of dying. (Well, about 95% of the time at least.)
But, I think I would like to try projecting myself a little further into the future.
Right now, events that won't happen for more than a year get very little attention from my little brain.

Thanks for caring enough to write this all out!
Sending love... can you feel it?
Denise
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Old 09-10-2013, 09:14 AM   #4
Andrea Barnett Budin
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future

Yes, Denise, I feel it.

Dx in '95, first grandchild (Josie) born in '96. My dghtr asked if I would like to be present for the birth! I stood by her side from 10 PM till 6:30 AM and witnessed Josie come into this world! It was awesome on so many levels.

Soon after, I began having this dream. In huge calligraphied lettering I saw JOCELYN TAYLOR in hunter green. I discussed this odd dream w/my dghtr, trying to figure out what it meant. You were dreaming of her Bat Mitzvah invitation! This milestone occurs when a child reaches 13...

So though I had my moments, not planning more than a yr in advance, not buying theater tickets or booking a vacation -- and when buying a pretty frock for my darling granddghtr wanting the 3 mnth size, I once came upon a little dress that the smallest size they had was a size 1 yr. I thought, But will I live to see her in it? AND I QUICKLY PUSHED THAT THOUGHT ASIDE, TRAMPLED ON IT AS I RUSHED TO THE CASH REGISTER WITH CERTAINTY AND BOUGHT IT!!

I digress. Nothing new here. I began envisioning myself far, far into the future. My desired dream was to be present at Josie's Bat Mitzvah. I saw myself aglow, standing, looking fabulous of course, beside my husband in his handsome suit and tie, surrounded by family at a large round table among another dozen round tables.

Music was playing and I was clapping to the music and applauding my 13 year old granddaughter's entrance to the celebration (temple services were over and now it was time to party). YES, THIS IS ALL IN MY IMAGINATION, IN MY MIND'S EYE, ON MY MENTAL SCREEN.

And -- Josie was Bat Mitzvah in January of 2010...! And -- grandchild # 2, Brett, was Bar Mitzvah last fall! So now, I dream of being at the next major special occasion, 9 yr old Asher's Bar Mitzvah!

I RECOMMEND THIS METHOD HIGHLY.

AND I LOVE YOU...

Andi
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Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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Old 09-10-2013, 11:22 AM   #5
Andrea Barnett Budin
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future

For those who read this and then re-read it, you will sense that something is a tad different.

I did a bit of editing, for clarification purposes.
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Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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Old 09-10-2013, 07:39 PM   #6
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future

Thank you Andi - when you are in the midst of very frightening symptoms and feel death is if not imminent it is close - it is incredibly hard to project thoughts of living to see my 6year old son's wedding (the image I have always visualised). I will read and re-read above. I am always on the front foot but physical symptoms become very frightening - how did you deal with this?
A x
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Old 09-11-2013, 03:53 AM   #7
Ellie F
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future

Thanks Andi
Needed to read this today!

Ellie
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Old 09-11-2013, 07:11 AM   #8
suzan w
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future

Thanks...I needed this!
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Suzan W.
age 54 at diagnosis
5/05 suspicious mammogram-left breast
5/05 biopsy-invasive lobular carcinoma with LCIS,8mm tumor,stage 1 grade 2, ER+ PR+ Her2+++
6/14/05 bilateral mastectomy, node neg. all scans neg.
Oncotype DX-high risk
8/05-10/05 4 rounds A/C
10/05 -10/06 1 yr. herceptin
arimidex-5 years
2/14/08 started daily self administered injections..FORTEO for severe osteoporosis
7/28/09 BRCA 1 negative BRCA2 POSITIVE
8/17/09 prophylactic salpingo-oophorectomy
10/15/10 last FORTEOinjection
RECLAST infusion(ostoeporosis)
6/14/10 5 year cancerversary!
8/2010-18%increase in bone density!
no further treatments
Oncologist says, "Go do the Happy Dance"
I say,"What a long strange trip its been"
'One day at a time'
6-14-2015. 10 YEAR CANCERVERSARY!
7-16 to 9-16. Extensive (and expensive) dental work done to save teeth. Damage from osteoporosis and chemo and long term bisphosphonate use
6-14-16. 11 YEAR CANCERVERSARY!!
7-20-16 Prolia injection for severe osteoporosis
2 days later, massive hive outbreak. This led to an eventual dx of Chronic Ideopathic Urticaria, an auto-immune disease from HELL.
6-14-17 12 YEAR CANCERVERSARY!!
still suffering from CIU. 4 hospitilizations in the past year

as of today, 10-31-17 in remission from CIU and still, CANCER FREE!!!
6-14-18 13 YEAR CANCERVERSARY!! NED!!
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Old 09-11-2013, 11:53 AM   #9
Andrea Barnett Budin
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future

Hi Y'all!

In answer to Anda Moo (Mandamoo):

When my 4th stage invasive bc recurred throughout my liver I was surely shaken to the core. I'd been doing everything right, and that was most definitely not supposed to happen! My belief system was shattered. I was deeply depressed and really felt I could die within the year (that was 1998).

We learned I was HER 2 + then, as they didn't check for that ever before. (Herceptin was about to be fast-tracked out of clinical trials as women were being told they had 3 mnths to live and could not gain access to that potentially life-saving drug.)

I discovered the metastasis pretty far into it spreading. Was there a stage 4 1/2? I knew stage 5 was death. And within 2 wks of discovery, reports were already showing even more (obviously rapid) progression! I was terrified.

I was put on Taxotere. 6 wks on and 2 wks off. One mnth in I developed Shingles, while pursuing stem cell transplant specialists, I was seeing my 2nd of 3 and off-handedly showed him this ? bug bite that was really itching! So, I accidentally found it early and began Valtrex immediately. I added some supplements listed in my PRESCRIPTIONS FOR NUTRITIONAL HEALING guidebook, to throw at it.

My onc who administered my chemo said I could not get chemo -- until I no longer had Shingles! I was seriously alarmed. If I didn't get chemo -- I was die! And Shingles could last months, even years...

Within 10 days of major physical suffering and pain (which I had mistakenly thought was the result of Taxotere) I returned to my onc. He was amazed that indeed I was cured. And -- I could get my dose of the freight train drug.

All my limbs ached from deep within. I could not find a comfortable place for myself. My soles felt as if I'd been walking on hot coals. My cheeks bleed when I gently washed my face. My nose bleed for a full half hour in the morning (using 1/2 a box of tissues to keep blowing mucous and blood out). I had neuropathy in my hands and along the outside of my right foot. Numbness that somehow hurt. I was violently nauseous at all times. Felt as if I had the worst flu ever, was clammy, sweating, with chills, felt dizzy, off balance, could not walk so I shuffled, holding on to walls. I had never ending bathroom drama and was up to taking 20 Imodium pills a day. I lived in fear of dying and fear of suddenly exploding in public while racing to the nearest bathroom. I knew where the bathroom was wherever I went. It was my first question.

I developed fluid around my lungs and fluid around my heart. I could barely speak. I had zero strength. I felt as if I was dying. I was frightened by it all.

After 3 mnths, I decided that if only 15% survived what I had -- someone had to be in that group. WHO ARE LIFE'S VICTORS?, I asked myself. They are the most determined, stalwart, tenacious ones who commanded their bodies to survive, no matter what.

I reasoned that I WAS IN A PROCESS, being pulled through rough waters by my lifeline (chemotherapy). I made Taxotere my ally. I endured, KNOWING that in the end -- what I wanted -- 12 yrs down the line -- was making it's way to me!

I decided to live as I had before -- with joy and serenity KNOWING and BELIEVING in my dream!

As I spent lo too many hrs on the toilet I read. I read books that taught me the power of my thoughts. They taught me the impact of my thoughts on my body. That we are each given the power to heal. I consciously chose to connect with that power.

I lived with an open and loving heart, a smile on my face, a sense of peace b/c I owned MY DREAM AND HAD FOUND A WAY TO CALL IT TO ME.

I continuously pushed away all thoughts full of negativity. I secome alert to the sneaky WHAT IFs and I'M JUST AFRAID THATs. I stayed tuned into my body and my thoughts, used self talk regularly, meditated daily, hugged more, met with our most special friends only for dinner (so I could get my husband out of the house with me, laughing and sharing beautiful memories). This fed my Soul, and his.

I'd be laying in bed, motionless throughout the day, Paul was so concerned and worried. I kept reassuring him. He would ask, Do you want me to call and cancel tonight? NO! I would get up, shower and get dressed, put on makeup and my wig, some earrings, and go. You can look pretty darn normal with some effort, and I wanted not to stand out or garner sympathy. Instead I got admiration. I was living with a sense of joy and a serenity that came from my fervent BELIEF!

EVERY THOUGHT IS LIKE A PRAYER. EVERY PRAYER IS A POTENTIAL MIRACLE.

Candles were lit in churches for me. Prayers were said in our Synagogue where I'd volunteered for a dozen yrs. Strangers blessed me. Friends who were spiritual envisioned me encircled in a radiant white light. All that positive energy and love going out in my name had to make an impact!

Here's my reading list, if you care to proactively lift yourself up! I STAND WITH YOU, A!!!


BOOK LIST
The Power of Now – Eckhart Tolle
A New Earth – Eckhart Tolle
Seat of the Soul – Gary Zucav
Your Sacred Self – Wayne Dyer
Manifest Your Destiny – Wayne Dyer
You’ll See It When You Believe It – Wayne Dyer
The Power of Intention – Wayne Dyer
Manifest Your Destiny – Wayne Dyer
Wisdom of the Ages – Wayne Dyer
There’s a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem – Wayne Dyer
Secrets of your own Healing Power
Healing Words – Larry Dossey
Mind Magic – Larry Dossey
The Extraordinary Healing Power of Ordinary Things – Larry Dossey
Healing Beyond The Body – Larry Dossey
Reinventing Medicine – Larry Dossey
Healing Words – Caryn Goldman
Grace and Grit – Ken Wilbur
Kitchen Table Wisdom – Rachel Naomi Remen
The Alchemist – Paulo Coelho
The Travelers Gift – Andy Andrews
The Singularity Is Near – Ray Kurzweil


Love and Light,
Andi


__________________
Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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Old 09-15-2013, 10:37 AM   #10
Andrea Barnett Budin
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future

I am realizing that part of the process of changing your future involves CHANGING YOUR CONCEPT OF YOURSELF.

For a bit, I saw myself as a cancer patient, a chemo room addict, constant docs and tests confirmed this reality. Rather immobilized by the side effects of chemo, at times I saw myself as a victim caught in a web of pain and angst. I bordered on being an invalid.

To ascertain the manifestation of higher concepts, we have to alter our concept of ourselves.

Your consciousness, your mental chatter and images bring you your reality. Simple, right? Not really. You must bravely and with utter tenacity and determination see and experience your ideal dream outcome. And then you must LIVE it. Now! Pulling it toward.

Present circumstances and conditions must be relatively put aside. The emotional roller coaster of fear, doubt, uncertainty, vulnerability AND THE SENSE OF LACK OF CONTROL must be decidedly curbed IN YOUR OWN BEST INTERESTS. Focus all your intention instead -- on your desired goal.

What you concentrate all your attention on, will come to be or be perpetuated. So what ifs hamper your journey to your fondest dreams. Self-prophesy is real. Your mind and your body respond to what you hold as TRUE and make it so. Life reflects what you believe, as a logical realist, or as a dedicated dreamer!

Your concept of yourself includes what you ACCEPT and CONSENT TO as being true. Are you a frighteningly sick person struggling to hold on -- or are you a SURVIVOR, with a long life in front of you??

Your reactions reveal where you live psychologically! It determines how you live in the outer visible world!

Once you KNOW a thing, you are on the road to it. So, arrange your thinking. I KNEW I would survive the day before my mastectomy in 1995. I owned that belief. I lived with joy and serenity, despite the unwanted reality of surrendering a breast in exchange for my life, despite the chemo's side effects. I often saw people staring at me, studying my face. What am I seeing?, they asked. You look -- joyful -- and serene...! HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?! So, my darling Sisters, I am telling you how...


With my love,
Andi

Feedback please. Anda Moo? Does any of this help you? Liz??
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Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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Old 09-16-2013, 10:55 AM   #11
Andrea Barnett Budin
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future

The drama of life is all about psychological responses to the conditions, circumstances and events of your life.

You unconsciously form assumptions. You intentionally edify yourself and form more assumptions. YOUR LIFE IS DETERMINED BY YOUR ASSUMPTIONS.

You can either be a slave to your assumptions -- or you can become their MASTER. I have consciously chosen to be the Master of my Fate. The Captain of my Soul.

How do I master my assumptions? I IDENTIFY with the hero in my dream. I am victorious and therefore feel joyful and serene. I live with that identity. I am a Survivor.

I have learned that what you want ALREADY EXISTS. There are possibilities. It is with your power of choice, your birthright in this world, that you can consciously choose your destiny. It is your task to draw your ideal to yourSelf. The dream then becomes overpoweringly real, in time. BELIEVE in that. I do. I dismiss all the fears that arise, all the doubt and uncertainty and supplant them with Belief, Certainty, Stone Determination and the passion those emotions evoke.

By your imagination, through your imagination, that which was a mere mental image is changed into a solid reality.

The Great Secret is a CONTROLLED IMAGINATION and a well-sustained attention to the details of that -- firmly and repeated focused energy (like a laser) on the object to be accomplished -- creates the ideal within your mental sphere.

You assume that you are already that ideal. You IDENTIFY yourSelf with it. You own it. Thereby, you transform yourself into that image in your head.

THINKING "FROM" THE IDEAL INSTEAD OF THINKING "OF" THE IDEAL makes all the difference.

All who do this will be inevitably transformed into the image of that in which you rest (THINKING from the wish fulfilled). LIVING "AS IF"... Grant this boon to yourSelf!

You become according to your resigned will. My resigned will is my concept of mySelf and all that I consent to and accept as true.

How could I not share this??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The book I am currently reading has an author who is saying all this, which I have KNOWN (and struggled to write in the book I am working on). But, I cannot wait any longer to finish the beloved project. I must get that message out there. People need to hear this.

More than wishing you well, I am giving you the recipe for wellness... Don't try. DO. I learned that from a young child who overcame impossible odds years ago. He was a guest on Oprah's daytime show. DON'T TRY -- DO is the message my Granddaughter placed on my cell screen for me. (I may be a technotard, well I clearly am one, but I have my children's children to help me...)

Andi
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'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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Old 09-22-2013, 05:02 PM   #12
Mandamoo
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future

Thank you Andi. I have read many of those books. I have always seen myself as someone with a long life ahead of me and I am definitely a Doer.

I have had a horrible weekend with pain, feeling terribly sick and coughing lots. I feel my reality though is seeing this disease progress despite my efforts and those of my team - I wonder what it is I am doing wrong - why my will to succeed and live is not enough at the moment.
I am determined to live and love and make the most of my life.
A x
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Old 09-22-2013, 08:53 PM   #13
NEDenise
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future

Amanda,
Praying like crazy for you!
Sending all the love and healing light I can focus in your direction.
Your strength and courage, in the face of this unfair mess, is inspiring.
Love,
Denise

PS - does Lani's post about using an HIV drug for Herceptin resistant HER2 apply to you at all?
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Old 09-22-2013, 09:32 PM   #14
Mandamoo
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future

Thank you Denise - I very much need prayers.

The neflinavir thing Lani posted is not new - it came out last year. I have not seen any trials or reports when I've searched. My onc says no possible way to access the drug for me 😔.

Hope you are catching the finals action in the AFL. My men are very excited to have their team in the grand final on Saturday.

Hope you are well.
A xx
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Old 09-23-2013, 01:18 PM   #15
Andrea Barnett Budin
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future

Dear Anda Moo,

I am truly sorry you had a horrible weekend -- pain, feeling terribly sick and lots of coughing. I have known too many days in my life like that.

Still, I did not feel that my "reality...(as) seeing this disease progress despite my efforts and those of my team".

I believe it precisely that thinking that backfires on you, A. DELAY IS NOT DENIAL. You are in a process. As I saw it, the chemotherapy was not a poison I had to take, it was my lifeline, pulling me through rough waters.

I felt, and still feel, my Spirit was and is helping me keep my head above water. I am never alone. My Spirit walks with me. Loves and nurtures me. Guides and protects me. Wants what I want and far more.

I trust my Spirit implicitly, beyond all reason.

Your will to succeed and live is more than enough to get you to your goal. You must BELIEVE in the power of your thoughts. Their energy is sensed and responded to, IN KIND, by the Universe itself.

And, your body hears everything EVERYTHING you think, say or whisper. Your body's job is to carry out your commands. Your commands are EVERYTHING you think, say or whisper.

So as you wonder what it is you are doing wrong, as you doubt and worry that your feelings of ill health and pain are signs that you are losing your battle, your body is giving up it's fight! The pain is NOT a signal that you are failing!!!

The pain and sickness are a part of the process you are going through, as the chemotherapy is killing the cancer... The pain and sickness are a momentary reality you must forge through with strength, courage, determination, certainty, belief, LOVE and faith!

This is how I got through the hard times. At THE hardest time of my life, in Dec of '98 4 mnths beyond my discovery of my recurrence, 3 mnths into Taxotere (the freight train drug) and 1 mnth into Herceptin, after battling Shingles and pushing to get through that horrendous pain b/c they wouldn't give me chemo while I had it (and if I didn't have chemo, I knew I would surely die) -- with fluid around my lungs and fluid around my heart, short of breath, unable to find the energy to speak above a whisper, barely able to put one foot in front of the other and feeling defeated -- I found my Soul. I was reading Iyanla Vanzant's ONE DAY MY SOUL JUST OPENED UP. Each short chapter left several blank pages for the reader to journal.

Midst the many hours I spent with diarrhea, chained to the toilet where I kept books and paper and pen, this is what came from my heart... It is my PRAYER FOR SURVIVAL... I offer it to you, A Moo, praying it will lift you up...

PRAYER FOR SURVIVAL


I AM WOUNDED, BUT I WILL SURVIVE. I AM DEEP IN THE WOODS, BUT I AM NOT LOST. MY BODY ACHES WITH THE DEATH OF MY CANCER CELLS, BUT I AM STRONG, BRAVE AND DETERMINED. THE STORM WILL NOT TOUCH MY CORE. I WILL NOT LET IT! MY ESSENCE IS CALM AND POISED. MY WILL IS GREAT AND SHALL TRIUMPH. I WILL BE STEADFAST. THE BEST IS YET TO COME.

DELAY IS NOT DENIAL. THOUGH MY DESIRED RESULTS ARE NOT NOW AT HAND, THAT DOES NOT MEAN I HAVE FAILED. I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED IN THIS STRUGGLE. THE TANGIBLE EVIDENCE OF MY EFFORTS LIES BEFORE ME. MY INNER “KNOWING” TRUSTS THAT THIS IS SO. IT WILL BE. AS I EXPECT THE BEST, SO IT WILL COME. IT IS A UNIVERSAL LAW.

WHEN A GUSTY WIND BLOWS THROUGH MY LIFE, I WILL RETREAT TO MY CORE! I WILL NOT BREAK. MY SPIRIT WILL NOT BE BROKEN. THE CANCER IN MY BODY CANNOT TOUCH MY SOUL! I AM DILIGENTLY STANDING GUARD.

I WILL NOT MISTAKE WHAT I KNOW FOR ALL THERE IS. I AM NOT IN COMPLETE CONTROL, AND THAT IS OKAY. WHAT I CAN CONTROL ARE MY THOUGHTS AND HOW I WILL VIEW AND FACE THIS BITTER LOT. WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME DOES “NOT” DEFINE ME. IT IS HOW I RESPOND THAT WILL TELL WHO I TRULY AM. I AM A POSITIVE ENTITY. I WILL NOT ALTER MY BELIEF SYSTEM. I AM STRONG, BRAVE AND DETERMINED. I WILL SHOW OTHERS THE WAY. I WILL TEACH MY CHILDREN TO FACE ALL ADVERSITY WITH GRACE AND COURAGE. I WILL DO IT FOR MYSELF AND FOR THEM. THIS IS A CHOICE I CAN MAKE. THIS IS THE CHOICE I MUST MAKE. I WILL LEAD THE WAY, DIRECT MY STEPS, MY MANNER AND MY LIFE.

WHEN I AM GRIPPED BY THE SORROW OF NOT BEING HERE ON EARTH WITH MY FAMILY, I MUST ERASE THAT NEGATIVITY. WHEN I CAN ONLY THINK HOW SAD IT WILL BE NOT TO BE HERE WITH THOSE I LOVE, I MUST REPLACE THOSE IMAGES WITH JOY-FILLED ONES. I VIVIDLY SEE MYSELF DANCING, SMILING AND LAUGHING JOYOUSLY AT MY TWO YEAR OLD GRANDDAUGHTER’S WEDDING! I WILL TAKE ALL MY DREADFUL THOUGHTS AND FEARS AND TOSS THEM TO THE WINDS.

CANCER IS NOT THE ENEMY. “FEAR” IS MY GREATEST FOE! THE RAVAGING EFFECTS OF CHEMOTHERAPY ARE NOT MY ENEMY. THE CHEMICAL DRUGS ARE MY LIFELINE PULLING ME THROUGH THE ROUGH WATERS. I WILL NOT DROWN. I WILL KEEP MY HEAD HIGH. I WILL KNOW AND ENRICH MY GRANDCHILDREN.

I HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR, TO BE GRATEFUL FOR. I AM TRULY BLESSED. I AM SO LUCKY. I CAN WALK AND TALK. I CAN FEED AND BATHE MYSELF. I CAN THINK. THESE SIMPLE GIFTS BRING ENORMOUS QUALITY TO MY LIFE AND JOY TO MY WORLD. I MUST SEE THE SUBLIME IN THE ORDINARY ALL AROUND ME. AS I SEE THE RADIANCE OF LIFE, THE DARKNESS WITHIN DISSOLVES.

WHAT ONE MAN HAS DONE, ANOTHER CAN DO. I CAN DO THIS! IT HAS BEEN DONE BY SOME. IT IS POSSIBLE. I WILL RELAX, BE STILL FROM DEEP WITHIN, THROUGHOUT MY ENTIRE BEING. THE QUIET MIND IS OPEN TO WISDOM AND TRUTH. I WILL TAKE A LONG, DEEP BREATH, HOLD IT, AND SLOWLY LET IT GO. AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. PEACE WILL OVERCOME ME. I WILL QUIETLY VISUALIZE. THE POTENCY OF MY IMAGERY WILL TURN MY HOPES INTO REALITY. MY THOUGHTS HAVE THE POWER TO CREATE MY DESIRED DESTINY. PERSISTENCE IS MY MANTRA. I WILL SURVIVE. FOCUS. ENDURE!

I AM IN A PROCESS OF SPIRITUAL UNFOLDING. I MUST REMEMBER, WHEN ALL IS CALM, WE STAGNATE. I AM BECOMING MORE THAN I WAS, AND FOR THIS I AM GRATEFUL. THOUGH THIS WINDSTORM IS THE GREATEST CHALLENGE OF MY LIFE, I WILL STARE IT DOWN. I WILL DO MY VERY BEST. I WILL NOT GIVE IN, NEVER GIVE UP. MY HEART “KNOWS” THE TRUTH OF MY FAITH AND IT WILL GUIDE ME THROUGH. I AM NOT BEING TESTED; I AM BEING FORTIFIED. THERE ARE GREAT LESSONS TO BE LEARNED. I MUST NOT LET MY ATTENTION BE DIVERTED.

I MUST BE STRONG FOR THOSE WHO WILL COME AFTER ME AND WITH ME. I WILL MOVE AHEAD WITH MY HEART THOUGH MY HEAD SAYS IT CANNOT BE DONE. I AM HEALING BECAUSE I HAVE CHOSEN TO HEAL. LOVE FILLS MY SOUL. THE MORE I GIVE, THE MORE COMES BACK TO ME. THE POWER TO HEAL LIVES WITHIN ME. I MUST CHOOSE TO TAP INTO IT, NOT TO IGNORE ITS AWESOME FORCE, TO CONTINUALLY CALL UPON IT, TO FIGHT ON, EVERY HOUR OF EVERY DAY. I MUST REMAIN OPEN TO MIRACLES. THEY ARE THERE FOR THE ASKING!

EVERY THOUGHT IS A PRAYER. EVERY PRAYER IS A POTENTIAL MIRACLE.

I WILL BECOME A MIRACLE …… THIS I KNOW!

~ December 1998 ANDREA BARNETT BUDIN




With Love and Light,
Andi
__________________
Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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Old 09-23-2013, 02:19 PM   #16
Adriana Mangus
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future

Hi Andi,

Thank you, so much needed.

Love,

Adriana
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1994 - rt brst, .lump, underarm node dissection,chemo+rad 1.2 cms, Grade 3.
28 nodes neg
Er,Pr, Positive HER2 status unknown
2003- Recur to rt lung.July 16 ( B-Day!)
Her2+++ Er,Pr, Negative
2003 - Aug04--Navelbine + Herceptin
2004- 2007--
NED - Herceptin, only
2007 Feb-April Xeloda added to hereceptin
2007-May Back on Navelbine+Herceptin
2008-Feb-Mar 15 Ses Rad to Rt. Lung
2008- Oc 17 Add Tykerb to Herceptin
2009- June-- Discont Tykerb
2009 July 7--Current Taxol + Herceptin
2009 Dec--Discontinued treatment due to progression. Looking into cyberknife.
2010-Aug Accepted to TDM1, no SE, except liver count went up.
2010-2011 September got kicked out of the trial, due to a small spot found on lung.
2011- 2012 September thru early 2013 on Herceptin
2013- March Bone density shows small spot on 5th rib.
2013 - April 4th appt with onc. will post after discussing course of treatment.
2013-March-April Cyber knife to brain and radiation to rib. Chest --base line before chemo-CT-Scan stable for lung issue. CA2729 Normal.
2013 April Herceptin- TDMI
2013 Sept Herceptin + Perjeta . CA2729 within normal range. Brain and Pet scans October 31st. will post results.
2013 October Brain MRI- mixed response. Will see Onc/rad on Halloween.
2013 October/November Brain-MRI nothing new. Repeat MRI next year in May.

2013 December Continue Herceptin and Perjeta. Stable at the moment.
2014 February Brain MRI -clear!
2014 January Added Taxotere to Perjeta+Herceptin.
2014 March Stopped chemo-chest ct-scan next.

2014- March Scans shows tumor's larger, CA2729 higher. Discontinue Herceptin.
2014 April Perjeta+ Halaven
2014 April CA2729 went down 60 points after one cycle. Cough does not want to go away.
2014 June Continue on Perjeta + Halaven-- no more cough. Stable
2014 June Back on Herceptin + abraxane
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Old 09-24-2013, 11:45 PM   #17
Mandamoo
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future

Andi
So many of those words in your prayer have been said by me over the past 2-3 years. I have always known I would get better.
Today the doctors told me there is nothing more that can be done by them apart from making me comfortable. The chemo which I have been determined would work (number9) hasn't helped as the disease has continued to take over my lungs now resulting in quite severe symptoms.
I have not caused this to happen. I have pursued TCM and acupuncture, changed my diet, upped my exercise even to swimming ocean races. I have worked with a spiritual healer and metaphysical counselor, I meditate regularly.. I have lived and loved fully, always believing I would be a miracle survivor.

I do believe thoughts have an impact and I have had a wonderful 41 years but it is not enough. I will not give up my knowing unless I can know no more.
A xx
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Old 09-25-2013, 05:26 AM   #18
NEDenise
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Exclamation Re: A simple formula for changing the future

Oh Amanda,
This is not the news I wanted. My heart breaks for you... and for all of us who love you.

To have fought so hard, and to have done all the right things... only to get this disheartening news form your docs... the injustice of the situation is infuriating, maddening... and heartbreaking.

Knowing you, I know you'll do all you can do, and fill your days with love and joy. Words are so inadequate... and I'm so far away... but if you'd like to chat, any time (forget about the time difference) please PM me your number. I'm here for you, my dear friend.

Prayers for you continue... as does the sending of love and hugs.
Denise
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Old 09-25-2013, 05:53 AM   #19
Bunty
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future

Amanda, my heart is heavy tonight... but full of love and admiration of you my friend. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Much love, Marie
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dx Dec 2000 dcis 2.5cm clear sentinel node, ER/PR- Her-2+
lumpectomy, 6 cycles AC, 6 weeks rads
October 2007 three x 2.5cm lung mets. 8 months Taxol, started Herceptin and continue. Significant reduction in lung mets.
June 2011 3cm x 4cm liver tumour. Started Abraxane and continue with Herceptin.
November 2011. Finished with Abraxane, continue with just Herceptin. Liver tumour now reduced to 15mm x 12mm. Lung tumour now 10mm x 0.5mm
February 2012. Scans show everything stable, and brain scan clear.
July 2012. PET/CT scans show I'm in remission - no active cancer!
]Dec CT brain cllear, lungs stable, liver tumour has increased to 20mm. PET scans showed active liver met and active lung thinglet, and possible bone met.
Jan 2013 recommence Abraxane, continue with Herceptin.
June 2013 finish Cycle 6 Abraxane, continue with Herceptin. 30% reduction in liver tumour, everything stable.
December 2013. CA15-3 on rise.
February 2014. PET and CT scans show single liver tumour has increased to 35mm. No other activity.
March 2014. Planned for SBRT for liver met, but couldn't have treatment as tumour too close to bowel. Continue Herceptin.
April 2014. Surgeon advises that I am a good candidate for liver resection, so will have operation early May (after camping holiday). Tumour now 44mm x 29mm.
May 7, 2014. Two liver tumours surgically removed. Third of liver removed, and gall bladder. Am I NED?May 2014. Pathology of tumour shows it's now ER+ (95% staining).
June 2014. CA15-3 has decreased to 18 from a pre-surgery reading of 59!
June 2014. Started Femara, continue with Herceptin.
July 2014. Stop Femara due to severe Osteoporosis. Commence Tamoxifen, continue Herceptin. Waiting to hear if I can have Aclasta infusion.
August 2014. CA15-3 has decreased further to 12 - YAY!
October 2014. Aclasta infusion for Osteoporosis. November 2014, CA15-3 decreased to 11. Scans of liver all clear, something new showing up on lung, but just watching at the moment.
November 2015. Started SBRT on solitary lung met.
November 2015. Bone density scan showed very good improvement so back on Femara - yay!
December 2016. 6 treatments of SBRT radiation on lung. Seems to have had some effect.
June 2016. CA15-3 still stable and low at 9.
June 2016. Started subcutaneous Herceptin replacing infusion.
Jan 2017. LVEF dropped to 46%. Stopped Herceptin.
Feb 2017. Started ACE Inhibitor and BETA Blocker. Still off Herceptin.
Aug 2017. Two new mets - Portacaval lymph node and mediastinal lymph node.
Aug 2017. Blood tests show extremely elevated liver enzyme levels. Many tests to investigate.
Sept 2017. Portacaval lymph node blocking liver bile duct causing liver enzyme and Bilirubin problems.
Oct 2017. 8cm stent inserted into liver bile duct. Procedure caused pancreatitis, and hospitalised for 3 days. Liver enzymes improving rapidly.
Nov 2017. Commenced 4 weeks of radiation on Portacaval lymph node. 5 week break before chemo.
Jan 2018. CT scan. 11 new small liver mets, and new superclavical lymph node med.
Jan 2018. Start Kadcyla. CA15-3 426.
Apr 2018. First scans since starting Kadcyla. All tumours reducing. CA15-3 dropped to 30 from 426.
Dec 2019. Still on Kadcyla, but two small brain mets have been treated in the past month with SRS. CA15-3 stable for 12 months at 11.
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Old 09-25-2013, 05:53 AM   #20
JennyB
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future

Amanda,
I don't know what to say - I still believe you will be a miracle survivor - jeez if you can swim ocean races you beat me hands down!
I am sending much love and many unformulated thoughts as words evade me but seriously love is with you from all over the world and North West Australia along with big hugs.
Jenny xx
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Diagnosed Nov '10 IDC whilst pregnant with 2nd child
Her 2 ++ ER/PR + but weak and patchy 50% + 5%
Left mastectomy Dec '10, 6cm tumour 1 of 2 lymph (micro mets)
Clear margins but lymphovasculer invasion
Stage 3a Grade 3
Fec 100 x 3 Jan '11 Taxotere X 3 and Herceptin X 1yr
Staging scans - CT brain & body and bone - May '11 - NED!!
Start Femara - in chemo induced menapause
25 Rads June '11
Dec '11 Menstruation resumed - zoladex inj monthly and Tamoxifen
Feb '12 Back on Femera and Zoladex
March '12 CT brain & body & bone scan all clear
Zometa x2/yearly
April '12 - Oopherectomy

Praying the Herceptin is as good as its hype!!
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