Brenda, It makes me happy to know you don't think I'm an utter fool, all glowy and positive all over the place. I am sincere if nothing else. And then I have my moments. Don't we all??? My younger daughter Pami tells me at such times, after sighing, fully hearing my despair and pausing -- You need to get back in touch w/your spirituality. It works its' magic every time. I see that I have temporarily become misaligned! I have forgotten that I AM A SOUL, with a mind and a body. I immediately re-identify myself and my perspective totally changes. I see the world through the eyes of my True Self. Works for me every time.
And then sometimes, I talk to a special friend, one who's been there/done that and I feel I am HOME and understood. I have 2 friends I can rely on to tell it like it is and support me no matter what with love, not I gotta go now, I'll talk to you soon. Be strong, like you always are. Once it came from a friend I'd have never guessed it would. I was on a rant and she happened to call. And she heard me. She explained that growing up she dealt w/a lot of cancer in her close family. And she became this wonderful source of compassion and strength. Canser didn't scare her, like it does so many *normal* pp. I could feel her arms around me, her strong shoulder there for me, and I poured out my heart and then I felt a whole lot better. Brenda, guess your counselor can do that for you. I had 5 yrs of *shrinkdom* and was w/the wrong man from the getgo. But he kept convincing me to stay w/him to get WELL. Said I wasn't in a position to make that call, to leave him. I fell for it every time. Now, older and wiser, I tell every one, if you're w/the wrong counselor move on. You have to feel that click, that chemistry. Glad you've got a good one.
Rambling again, as I am prone to do. Thoughts come flooding my brain and my fingers start dancing on the keyboard. Oh, and I just have to tell you one more thing... BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Glad to hear you're not thinking BLAH, BLAH, BLAH...!!!
With love. Here's to staying NED.
Andi 
You Made My Day!
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