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Old 12-10-2014, 10:04 AM   #1
Senior Member
KaiM's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 59
Emotional Rollercoaster

The last week was quite a ride for me. I had my routine 3 month scan on Monday, and then on the way home stopped for some lunch. As I was leaving I heard my name and turned around to see a mom from my daughters preschool who had gone thru chemo about six months after me for triple negative BC. She looked amazing and healthy and it filled me with joy. Then I logged in here on Tuesday to learn of Kristin's passing, the rest of the day was filled with tears and heartache for me. I woke up Wednesday morning and headed out to the doc for my results and infusions. After checking in for my blood draw I turned around to find a seat and heard my name, I looked up only to see a woman I barely recognized. We had been Herceptin sisters almost three years ago and had shared many days in ITA together. She was stage 2 then and I was stage 4, so she finished up her treatment and went on with her life, and here she was in front of me again, just a shadow of her old self now dealing with brain mets and pleural effusion. I broke down in tears with her and shared many hugs that day. I now feel awful for being so emotional. I then saw my doc and got the fantastic news that my scan was still stable and I am still responding to my first course of treatment. I drove home just a wreak, alternating between sobbing and taking deep grateful breaths that I could focus on the holidays and my kids now. Sorry for all the rambling, but I haven't been this emotionally drained in a very long time and new you all would get it. Wishing us all some peace , comfort and daily joys this holiday season....
9/11 - dx 3 mnths after giving birth to my 2nd child. (not a clogged milk duct) ER/PR- HER2+++
10/11 - Initially staged at 2b after unilateral mastectomy
11/11 - CT scan 4 weeks later found spots on bones and liver (crap!) Stage 4
12/11 - starting TCH
5/12 - STABLE. stoping TCH after 6 months and continuing Herceptin with Tykerb and Xgeva
8/12 - STABLE, but I'm calling it NED because all they see is bone scaring!
11/12 - STABLE
2/13 - STABLE
6/13 - STABLE
9/13 - STABLE
12/13 - STABLE
3/14 - STABLE
6/14 - STABLE
9/14 - STABLE
12/14 - STABLE
...Continue Herceptin and daily Tykerb and scans every 4 months
1/16 - STABLE
11/18 - Five level spinal fusion from collapsing vertebrae due to spinal Mets/radiation
12/19 - STABLE
Mom to Audrey (12 yrs) and Hudson (8)

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Old 12-10-2014, 11:37 AM   #2
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Lien's Avatar
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Haarlem, the Netherlands
Posts: 834
Re: Emotional Rollercoaster

Wow! That was a roller coaster indeed. I would have been a wreck too. One can only handle so many ups and downs at the same time. So glad you are STABLE!!!


Diagnosed age 44, January 2004, 0.7 cm IDC & DCIS. Stage 1, grade 3, ER/PR pos. HER2 pos. clear margins, no nodes. SNB. 35 rads. On Zoladex and Armidex since Dec. 2004. Stopped Zoladex/Arimidex sept 2009 Still taking mistletoe shots (CAM therapy) Doing fine.
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Old 12-10-2014, 02:02 PM   #3
Carol Ann
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,045
Re: Emotional Rollercoaster

Yes, I so get it, Kai ... you just never know what's going to happen. PLEASE don't feel bad for being emotional ... you are human and it is ok to show it. I cry all the time too, and I haven't even run into anybody I know!

I posted on another thread here that in Kristin's honor we could go out and commit random, senseless acts of kindness ... I think you did just that by crying and showing your feelings with your friend.

(((( HUGS and TEARS )))) back at ya! It's Christmas time ... as good a reason as any for a piece of chocolate ...

Carol Ann
July 24, 2013: "Infected" Right Nipple and benign cyst removed, pathology report revealed Paget's, DCIS, and ILC 1.25 cm, ER+/Pro+/HER2 equivocal, Grade 2 under benign cyst, previous diagnostic mammo/ultrasound said I was perfectly healthy in both breasts.

Aug 18, 2013: MRI report says Left breast is perfectly healthy "consistent with previous studies".

Sept 2013: I insist on a bilateral mastectomy anyway. Too nervewracking to let left breast remain with higher risk after 3 cancers in right, nipple in right is already gone anyhow.

Sept 18, 2013: Bilateral mastectomy, 11 right nodes removed, ALL negative BUT -- ER+/PRO+/HER2+ tumor, 1.0 cm, Grade 2 found in a piece of "grossly unremarkable" breast tissue from prophylactic mastectomy of left breast, no nodes removed.

Oct 25, 2013: 13 left side nodes removed, ALL negative, Stage 1 across the board, NO RADS needed, YAAAAY! Port also installed.

Nov 25, 2013 Begin 6 rounds TCH.

March 10, 2014 Just finished 6th and LAST Chemo today, YAAAAAY!

March 24, 2014 Echocardiogram to make sure I'm still good for Herceptin every 3 weeks.

March 31, 2014 Echo results NORMAL, first Herceptin all by itself. Now if only my eyes would stop streaming from the Taxotere ... :)

April 21, 2014 Started Arimidex and therapy for "mild" lymphedema in left hand and arm

May 2014 Therapy completed, I have sleeves and gloves for both arms, a Flexi touch lymph pump to hook up to for an hour every day, and I've become an arm bandaging expert. :)

June 2014 Begin Fosamax to prevent osteoporosis; bone scan revealed osteopenia

Nov 17, 2014 FINAL Herceptin!

Dec 4, 2014 My right thigh muscle has been extra achy for days ... I discover a blister rash cluster on the side of my right thigh while taking a shower. Port appointment cancelled until Dec 17, my doc is working me in tomorrow afternoon to see me and the rash. My muscle at least feels less achy.

Dec 5, 2014 Yep, I have shingles. Boo! I start acyclovir and also have a prescription for a painkiller just in case for over the weekend.

Dec 17, 2014 Port is OUT!

January 2016 Shingles again and this time it started where my left breast (where the hidden HER2+++ tumor was!) used to be. My onc nurse got me a same day appointment to see my doc when I called and told her I had a rash on the site. The antiviral meds are working once again, though, so that is good news. :)
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