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Old 07-11-2012, 10:28 PM   #1
Estelle
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From Patient to Conqueror to Caregiver

I changed roles today as I took my best friend of 40 years to her first chemo. She had just gotten a contract on her house when she got her diagnosis, and rather than have her have to find a temporary place, or give up her sale, I told her just come stay with me and get treated at Hopkins (where I went). Well she closed on June 29, moved in with me last week and off to chemo today. She is triple negative, but the chemo regiment is similar; AC followed by T, which I also had. As one who had gone through this, I thought (and still think) I can help her get through it, but the (unexpected) reaction was how much being in that setting took me back and riled up my old somewhat fearful feelings! I am good now, but have a new found increased respect for my daughter who took care of me. So I am now perusing the caregivers forum and learning a lot. A BIG thanks to all of you. I am feeling my way through when to speak up and when to just listen -- I do not want to compare her experience to mine, because every experience is different. Any thoughts on how to negotiate this?
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Estelle
DX 1/09
two tumors; .7 cm and 1.0 cm, same duct
lumpectomy 2/09
10 positive nodes; scans show no further metastasis, Stage IIIc
AC completed 5/09
Tykerb/Taxol (trial) 6/09, terminated from trial (due to bad reaction to Tykerb) 8/09; switched to Herceptin/Taxol
Taxol finished 10/09
Bilateral mastectomy 11/09
Radiation 12/09 to 1/10
Herceptin finished 7/10
NED
Start Vaccine Trial at Hopkins 2/11
Finished Vaccine Trial 11/11
Continue NED
Port Out 11/11
DEIP Flap 4/17)
8 Years NED 2/17
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Old 07-12-2012, 12:37 AM   #2
Jackie07
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Location: "Love never fails."
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Re: From Patient to Conqueror to Caregiver

Estelle,

How wonderful of you to take your friend in while she's undergoing treatment!

Yes, the smell and the setting of a chemo room bring back a lot of memories. One has to be tough to get in there!

I'm sure your friend appreciates your hospitality and loves to have a more experienced 'survivor' standing right in front of her.

Just be yourself...
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http://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2011/06/doctors-letter-patient-newly-diagnosed-cancer.html
http://www.asco.org/ASCOv2/MultiMedi...=114&trackID=2

NICU 4.4 LB
Erythema Nodosum 85
Life-long Central Neurocytoma 4x5x6.5 cm 23 hrs 62090 semi-coma 10 d PT OT ST 30 d
3 Infertility tmts 99 > 3 u. fibroids > Pills
CN 3 GKRS 52301
IDC 1.2 cm Her2 +++ ER 5% R. Lmptmy SLNB+1 71703 6 FEC 33 R Tamoxifen
Recc IIB 2.5 cm Bi-L Mast 61407 2/9 nds PET
6 TCH Cellulitis - Lymphedema - compression sleeve & glove
H w x 4 MUGA 51 D, J 49 M
Diastasis recti
Tamoxifen B. scan
Irrtbl bowel 1'09
Colonoscopy 313
BRCA1 V1247I
hptc hemangioma
Vertigo
GI - > yogurt
hysterectomy/oophorectomy 011410
Exemestane 25 mg tab 102912 ~ 101016 stopped due to r. hip/l.thigh pain after long walk
DEXA 1/13
1-2016 lesions in liver largest 9mm & 1.3 cm onco. says not cancer.
3-11 Appendectomy - visually O.K., a lot of puss. Final path result - not cancer.
Start Vitamin D3 and Calcium supplement (600mg x2)
10-10 Stopped Exemestane due to r. hip/l.thigh pain OKed by Onco 11-08-2016
7-23-2018 9 mm groundglass nodule within the right lower lobe with indolent behavior. Due to possible adenocarcinoma, Recommend annual surveilence.
7-10-2019 CT to check lung nodule.
1-10-2020 8mm stable nodule on R Lung, two 6mm new ones on L Lung, a possible lymph node involvement in inter fissule.
"I WANT TO BE AN OUTRAGEOUS OLD WOMAN WHO NEVER GETS CALLED AN OLD LADY. I WANT TO GET SHARP EDGED & EARTH COLORED, TILL I FADE AWAY FROM PURE JOY." Irene from Tampa

Advocacy is a passion .. not a pastime - Joe

Last edited by Jackie07; 07-12-2012 at 10:09 AM..
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Old 07-12-2012, 10:12 AM   #3
'lizbeth
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Re: From Patient to Conqueror to Caregiver

Estelle,

What a wonderful friend you are!

I know as a 14 year caregiver for a husband with chronic leukemia I had the tendency to try and do everything, by myself. Make sure you maintain a good support system for yourself and incorporate self care. He still tries to delegate everything to me, lol, the rascal!

I wish your friend a smooth and side effect free treatment with a quick recovery.
__________________
Diagnosed 2007
Stage IIb Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, Pagets, 3 of 15 positive nodes

Traditional Treatment: Mastectomy and Axillary Node Dissection followed by Taxotere, 6 treatments and 1 year of Herceptin, no radiation
Former Chemo Ninja "Takizi Zukuchiri"

Additional treatments:
GP2 vaccine, San Antonio Med Ctr
Prescriptive Exercise for Cancer Patients
ENERGY Study, UCSD La Jolla

Reconstruction: TRAM flap, partial loss, Revision

The content of my posts are meant for informational purposes only. The medical information is intended for general information only and should not be used in any way to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent disease
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Old 07-12-2012, 12:37 PM   #4
snolan
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Re: From Patient to Conqueror to Caregiver

I had 2 friend recently diagnosis, though I am not in the caregiver roll, I have found myself in the counseling or advice roll. It is very important to remind yourself and your friend that each experience is different but that if they experience something that you did your advice may help them through it. I think if anything it just helps with their peace of mind that they see you on the other end of the journey and that they can get there themselves. That often times is the best help we as survivors can offer.
Suzanne
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dx: DCIS 6/8/10, HER 2+ 7/26/10; Stage I Age 41
Double mast w reconstruction
6 TCH w 1yr herceptin
Tamox.
25 radiation tx
Removal of expander on L due to infection. Tried to save it had 3 bouts of antibiotics and went to see plastic surgeon 2-3x wk to get drained. Saving it was my idea not his. But lost it anyway.
Reconstruction set for December 21st,2011
Finished chemo 12/2010
Finished Herceptin 8/26/11
Reconstruction 12/21/11
Expanders exchanged for silicon 3/19/12
Nipple reconstruction 5/18/12
Nipple tatooing- 7/9/12- All done yay!
11/22/12-Went back to get scar tissue stretched to even the outside of breast, didn't work due to it being radiated skin.
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