My Meeting with My Rad Onc Today

[Becky]

First said - all is well. I need to say that first. However, I had a horrible meeting today with my radiation oncologist. I DO feel bad about it because it was my fault it went bad and ended bad. He sees me every 6 months. As many know, I had a radiated IDC on the right but a very small DCIS on the left that was not radiated.

Every meeting with him I nudge further on the lack of radiation on the DCIS side. I think I nudge because in a real sense, I do like him but in another real sense, he is not the right doctor for me (he jokes around too much and makes much, much too light of a serious disease. Also, I feel he might not really be into his job but it is his job. Also, he is my mom's radiation oncologist too (although he does not yet know that she is going to change from him too for the "lightness" that he exudes and the fact that when she has appts with him, he asks about me and my family too much and she feels it is her time)). So, for the 10th time, I ask why I did not get radiation on the DCIS side and he says its because my breast surgeon (who truly is the best) told him I didn't need to have it. I was too stunned to speak (without crying - really). Afterwards (about an hour later), I called him and he took my call immediately. In a nutshell, I told him that when I went to him for consultation, it was for radiation. I didn't go to my child's pediatrician on whether I should have radiation, I went to a radiation oncologist who would give me HIS opinion on the matter. The surgeon does what the surgeon does and he does what he does. So, (nicely) he gets my chart and goes over everything saying it was low grade and tiny with extremely wide margins. I was getting rads on the other side and too much lung "might" be involved having it on two sides versus both. Then he states my age and that I wasn't a particular age (which I am not now but was then). I told him that I had gotten at least 2 opinions on everything I've done except him and since he let the surgeon choose, I really didn't have a radiation oncologist opinion at all! He did got over everything and said if everything was happening now, he still wouldn't give radiation (duh, its the only thing he can say)! Anyway, I am distraugh on the medical profession and I am at a loss of what to do. Are bridges burned (because sometimes an encounter like this can make everything right) or not? I like the guy but am stunned at his statement of "blaming" lack of rads on someone else. Yet I do know some things make sense too. What should I do?