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12-07-2015, 06:30 PM
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#1
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 52
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Struggling with divorce, cancer, chemo. Not sure how to survive. Very bad day!
I'm just reaching out to my sisters because you are going through at least 50% of this agony with me. I was married for 25 years and the divorce became final just over a month ago. He started coming back around recently, probably out of pity, but I (not snoopingly) found his dating profile asking for dates for Christmas parties, which means current. I feel dead inside and not from the poison.
Anyone else going through the divorce aspect. I know it's more common than we would believe. Caregiving is hard. I just feel like the will to fight is dying, too.
I'm not depressed, certainly don't need more drugs. I'm devastated, hurt, and sick. I feel like my future is so bleak and what's the point, except my daughters and that should be enough. If it weren't for them, I'd just wilt.
Any advice or your own experiences shared would be such a blessing. I've turned to scripture and pray and I know that God stays with us but shows us His will in His time. I cannot, cannot, cannot lose faith. Please help.
__________________
6/6/2015-Found a lump in my L breast at 45 years young.
6/12/2015-First u/s
7/2015-Mammogram and 2nd u/s (same day)
8/7/2015-Needle aspiration u/s biopsy. Doctor indicated looked malignant. (thanks doc!! the wait after that sucked)
8/20/2015-Diagnosed w ER+,PR+,HER2+ BC in L breast (now 46 years young.)
9/24/2015-Saw first surgeon, referred by oncologist. Great guy. Office staff not advocates.
10/12/2015-Met w Plastic Surgeon. Amazing doctor. Recommended not immediate due to chemo and 'just get the cancer out first' attitude. Will do recon with him after chemo is complete.
10/12/2015-Called first surgeon's office who told me that it's been too long since the first consult and will need to schedule another consult on 10/24 and then schedule surgery within 2-3 AFTER that date. (BITE ME)
10/12-Found a new surgeon.
10/15-Consulted with new FEMALE surgeon. She was AMAZING! Asked me if I wanted to do the surgery on Monday (in 5 days). Stunned and thrilled!!
10/26/15-Surgery for bilateral mastectomy, port placed, and 3 nodes removed for SNB. 3 drains installed.
10/28/15-home from the hospital to recover.
10/30/2015-Follow up with surgeon. Drains removed. Was told tumor was removed but had more than doubled in size from 1.3 to 2.9cm. 3 nodes removed, all negative. Healthy breast was clear but several suspicious areas on affected left breast. Looks to be Stage 2A. Oncologist appt next week.
11/5/2015-Follow up with oncologist. Planning to start chemotherapy (Herceptin, Taxotere, and Carboplatin together beginning November 30th). Very nervous about side effects, low white blood count, anemia, steriods, etc, etc, etc. I'm not usually one to medicate myself for anything. Not ready for this. Kinda scared.
11/30/2015 - Isaiah 41:10 today for sure. Today was my first day (round) of TCH chemo treatment. Before receiving the cocktail, I saw the doctor who delivered the news that my CT scans (abdomen, chest, and pelvis were all clear). Praise God!! Feeling okay right now after chemo, just a bit sleepy. We'll see how the Neulasta, along with the other effects, rear their lovely heads over the next few days. Prayers please, as always.
12/17/2015-Decided it was time to shave my head and face the music.
1/11/2016-Went in for 3rd treatment. UGG. Spoke to the doctor first. Asked him to reduce the Decadron. Agreed! From 10mg to 4mg dosage. YAY! It still worked and I was able to rest and live. Praise God. I jokingly told him if he felt like dropping some of my treatment, to feel free. Guess what?! He agreed! Agreed to drop my 6th treatment meaning that I now only have 2 left and in March I'll be able to begin the reconstruction process. Additionally, he agreed to schedule me for a brain MRI to just double check for any spread. Anxiously awaiting.
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12-07-2015, 07:53 PM
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#2
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Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oregon
Posts: 715
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Re: Struggling with divorce, cancer, chemo. Not sure how to survive. Very bad day!
Oh so sorry. Please do all you can to surround yourself with supportive friends and family. Even though I have not been through divorce, I have many girlfriends who have. One day you will be stronger and life will look better. Just believe in the future and trust the promise of God. One day at a time.
Hugs, Catherine
__________________
Catherine
Found my own lump in the shower
April 2006 at the age of 58
Stage IIB, ER- PR- HER2+++ multi focal tumors, largest 2.3cm
Chemo first: AC/Taxol over 16 weeks
Bilateral mastectomy Sep 06
33 rads after the surgery
1 year of Herceptin completed Dec 07
15 years and no recurrence as of April 2021
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12-07-2015, 09:21 PM
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#3
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 46
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Re: Struggling with divorce, cancer, chemo. Not sure how to survive. Very bad day!
Some days sure stink up the planet don't they! I can not speak to divorce myself, but know many family members and friends whose lives are richer and happier apart than they ever would have been if they had remained together. I hope tomorrow is a brighter day...do something that brings you joy. *I am a sucker for sparkles : ), on some of my darkest chemo days when I had no energy and felt like crap, I would look at my sparkly rock collection or sun catchers to brighten my mood - whatever works for you, do it.
Sending you some of my sparkles,
Cindy*
__________________
Jan 2014 -mammogram, targeted mammogram, and ultrasound.
Feb 2014 -stereotactic biopsy (IDC, lobular growth pattern, grade 3, ER+ 30%, PR+ 1%, HER2+ 3+, ki67 10%), MRI - tumor up to 7cm, Lymph node biopsy - malignant.
Mar 2014 -port placement, chemo begins (TCHP)x6 every 3 weeks, Neulasta shots.
June 2014 complete chemo series, Herceptin only until Mar 15
Aug 2014 -Bilateral mastectomy with left axillary dissection (PCR in left breast, cancer cell found in lymph node).
Sept 2014 -radiation 28x
Oct 2014 complete radiation
Nov 2014 - begin Arimidex
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12-08-2015, 06:31 AM
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#4
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Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,045
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Re: Struggling with divorce, cancer, chemo. Not sure how to survive. Very bad day!
Oh this just so totally sucks, I am so sorry you are having to deal with all of this.  What everyone else has already said ... things will get better but it takes time. One day at a time. That is all you can do.
Anything, anything at all that you can do to make yourself feel better ... just do it. And don't feel like you have to engage too much with your former spouse. If you don't want to ... don't. I would venture to say he is coming around to make himself feel better. Not you. That is harsh, I know ... but if you extend yourself to him and then feel miserable afterwards, it is so not worth it. YOU have to be your own first priority now.
Please please come here as much as you need, to vent, scream, whatever. We are here for you.
Carol Ann
__________________
July 24, 2013: "Infected" Right Nipple and benign cyst removed, pathology report revealed Paget's, DCIS, and ILC 1.25 cm, ER+/Pro+/HER2 equivocal, Grade 2 under benign cyst, previous diagnostic mammo/ultrasound said I was perfectly healthy in both breasts.
Aug 18, 2013: MRI report says Left breast is perfectly healthy "consistent with previous studies".
Sept 2013: I insist on a bilateral mastectomy anyway. Too nervewracking to let left breast remain with higher risk after 3 cancers in right, nipple in right is already gone anyhow.
Sept 18, 2013: Bilateral mastectomy, 11 right nodes removed, ALL negative BUT -- ER+/PRO+/HER2+ tumor, 1.0 cm, Grade 2 found in a piece of "grossly unremarkable" breast tissue from prophylactic mastectomy of left breast, no nodes removed.
Oct 25, 2013: 13 left side nodes removed, ALL negative, Stage 1 across the board, NO RADS needed, YAAAAY! Port also installed.
Nov 25, 2013 Begin 6 rounds TCH.
March 10, 2014 Just finished 6th and LAST Chemo today, YAAAAAY!
March 24, 2014 Echocardiogram to make sure I'm still good for Herceptin every 3 weeks.
March 31, 2014 Echo results NORMAL, first Herceptin all by itself. Now if only my eyes would stop streaming from the Taxotere ... :)
April 21, 2014 Started Arimidex and therapy for "mild" lymphedema in left hand and arm
May 2014 Therapy completed, I have sleeves and gloves for both arms, a Flexi touch lymph pump to hook up to for an hour every day, and I've become an arm bandaging expert. :)
June 2014 Begin Fosamax to prevent osteoporosis; bone scan revealed osteopenia
Nov 17, 2014 FINAL Herceptin!
Dec 4, 2014 My right thigh muscle has been extra achy for days ... I discover a blister rash cluster on the side of my right thigh while taking a shower. Port appointment cancelled until Dec 17, my doc is working me in tomorrow afternoon to see me and the rash. My muscle at least feels less achy.
Dec 5, 2014 Yep, I have shingles. Boo! I start acyclovir and also have a prescription for a painkiller just in case for over the weekend.
Dec 17, 2014 Port is OUT!
January 2016 Shingles again and this time it started where my left breast (where the hidden HER2+++ tumor was!) used to be. My onc nurse got me a same day appointment to see my doc when I called and told her I had a rash on the site. The antiviral meds are working once again, though, so that is good news. :)
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12-08-2015, 07:03 AM
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#5
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 362
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Re: Struggling with divorce, cancer, chemo. Not sure how to survive. Very bad day!
I went through a separation and legal custody fight during my treatment. And yes, it was Hell. There were days I just wanted to die. It felt like it would of been easier. But one day I woke up and had a million emails from my attorney and God knows how many nasty voicemails from my ex, and right there I decided to stop reacting. I made a conscious decision that that day was the beginning of a life I could live the way I wanted to. I enrolled myself in salsa dancing classes, baking classes and threw myself into yoga daily. I changed the way I ate because, heck, why not, I was cooking for one for once. Everything I did I did to make sure I was happy. Sometimes I would lay on my deck the entire afternoon looking up at the clouds. Other days I would get all dolled up and go for coffee with a friend. Try to do things for yourself.
__________________
DX 10/2011
PET Scan + MRI 10/2011
Lumpectomy 11/11/11
Stage 2B +++ ER+(10%), PR+(5%), HER2+++(1 positive node, 1 micromets to second node)
AC started 12/2011 ended 1/2012
Taxol + Herceptin weekly for 12 weeks ended 4/2012
30 zaps of radiation done 6/2012
Tamoxifen 6/2012
every 3 weeks of Herceptin for another year.
Metformin Trial 8/12
10/12 MRI- CLEAR
01/13 BRAIN MRI- CLEAR!
01/13 Neck MRI- CLEAR!
FINISHED HERCEPTIN 1/9/2013...Woot Woot
Starting Walter Reed Vaccine Trial 2/13
CT Scans + ultrasound of abdomen CLEAR-5/13
02/2015 through 11/2015 emergency D&Cs for Tamoxifen induced uterine polyps which caused uncontrollable hemorrhaging
12/2015 blood clot to left leg caused by Tamoxifen. No longer taking it. On Xarelto, a blood thinner
12/2015 Ablation to prevent hemorrhaging from potential issues with Tamoxifen residue in my system
1/2016 continuing journey without hormonal therapy. Reevaluating the option of a hysterectomy and oopherectomy.
4/1/2018 2mm stroke. Yes, stroke! No cause ever found but they believe it was a migraine that went bonkers and created a tiny clot. No deficits. I was back to normal with 24hrs. Now on baby aspirin for life.
7/27/2018 hysterectomy and oopherectomy
01/07/2019 Mastectomy and expanders put in
3/22/2019 Vtach, almost died. Cause unknown.
7/22/2019 New perky boobs put in
7/21/2020 Off of all drugs but a baby aspirin because of the stroke in 2018.
www.mychemobag.org
www.facebook.com/mychemobag
8 YEARS NED
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12-08-2015, 08:22 AM
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#6
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Senior Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 1,427
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Re: Struggling with divorce, cancer, chemo. Not sure how to survive. Very bad day!
Oh my goodness. You've had so many losses and trials! I'm so sorry you're going through this.
I haven't had divorce, cancer, and chemo together, but I have been through two divorces, two cancers, and 4 1/2 years of cancer treatment. The first divorce was after 23 years of marriage and five kids. Although I initiated it, it was not the outcome I wanted. I wanted us to transform the relationship. That choice was not available to me.
As I was going through the first divorce a friend recommended two little books that were both extremely helpful to me. At the time I found it very difficult to concentrate or take in complex ideas, and both books are deceptively simple. One is out of print, but worth hunting down. It's called How to Survive the Loss of a Love. The other book is called The Four Agreements. They are both written in short, easy-to-take-in segments, and both offer specific ideas about what I could do to help myself.
The second divorce was totally unexpected and incredibly painful. I was devastated. A friend brought over a book called Wherever You Go, There You Are. It's about mindfulness meditation. I learned to put myself back in the Now whenever my brain started running away with catastrophes. I was able to get back to sleep when I woke up in a panic at 3 in the morning.
I also did lots of prayer, some exercise, psychotherapy, and massage. My masseuse was a good friend. Our chats while she massaged me were at least as helpful as my sessions with my (wonderful) therapist. Oh, and since both husbands were alcoholics (one "wet" and one "dry") I went to Al-Anon and got a wonderful sponsor and worked the "Steps" with her.
My breast cancer diagnosis felt similar to divorce, only this time it was my body that was betraying me and seemed to have abandoned me. A friend who had been through breast cancer recommended I do guided imagery, and told me the name of the person whose work she liked. My friend also told me the same person offers guided imagery for healing from trauma. I got that one too. My friend had said it's very intense. I agreed, and I only did it a couple of times. But last year I got back into therapy, and decided to revisit the trauma imagery and affirmations. As promised on the tape, over time the images and "story" seem to have transformed for the better. I no longer feel abandoned. The last affirmation on all the products is "More and more, I know that I am in the hands of God, and I am perfectly, utterly safe."
What all these experiences have in common is that wise, loving companions saw my pain and suffering and offered concrete, appropriate assistance. What changed about me between the two divorces (seven years apart) is I became less compulsively self-reliant and more willing/able to ask for and accept help. Now I spend a lot less time and energy worrying about what other people think of me or what their motives are. I try not to make assumptions. I have learned to interrupt my own toxic and destructive self-talk with meditation or affirmations. The only person who is guaranteed to be with me until my last breath is myself. I am learning to be more kind, loving, and forgiving towards myself.
Which brings me to the best advice I got when my cancer was diagnosed. A friend who had been through two primary breast cancers fifteen years apart said, "Don't worry about anything until you have to."
I'm sorry you're in such pain. I pray that wise, kind, loving companions appear to show you how to heal yourself, and that, with their loving support and help, you find your inner strength and resilience and you learn what it is you need to know.
Peace,
Amy
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12-08-2015, 11:47 AM
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#7
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Pittsburgh, PA.
Posts: 260
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Re: Struggling with divorce, cancer, chemo. Not sure how to survive. Very bad day!
Please, please, please do not lose your faith!! You are going through so much right now and it's easy to do but you will weather the storms. You are a warrior and warriors do not accept defeat! God and all of us are with you, stay strong, stay positive and focus on a new you - there is so much life to live and the fight can be tough but it's worth it in the end!
Prayers and hugs!
Jessica
__________________
11/17/10 - Diagnosed with 4.5cm tumor in right breast, IDC, Stage 2, Nuclear grade 2, ER+ PR+ HER2+
12/13/10 - Lymph node biopsy - negative
12/28/10 - Started neo-adjuvant treatment along with clinical trial with 4 rounds of AC chemo every 3 weeks
3/15/11 - Began weekly Taxol/Herceptin infusions along with 750mg of Tykerb taken by mouth daily
6/28/11 - Finished last cycle of Taxol
7/27/11 - Breast MRI shows tumor has dissolved, remarkable reaction to chemo
8/31/11 - Lumpectomy, Sentinel Node biopsy. Node negative, clear margins, 7mm of cancer left over from chemo.
10/05/11 - Started radiation, 5 days a week for 7 weeks.
11/8/11 - Finished radiation
3/21/12 - Last Herceptin!
3/26/12 - Port removed!
Tamoxifen for 5 years
8/4/15 - Hysterectomy & bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy. Due to large fibroids. No cancer!
8/8/15 - Started Arimidex
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12-08-2015, 01:24 PM
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#8
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Senior Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 570
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Re: Struggling with divorce, cancer, chemo. Not sure how to survive. Very bad day!
I don't have sage words to share, especially on the heels of Amy's post but I will lend a concerned ear and broad shoulder to help unload the burden of your pain. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to experience such hardship and loss all at once. You are strong and you are loved. Take things minute to minute. If you don't want to do it, don't if you feel like it do... When things seem overwhelming, draw a nice bath and cry it out and when the tears stop. Do something RICH for yourself.
__________________
Tracy Arcari
___________________________________________
11/12 BSE ignored the lump for SIX months.
5/1/13 IDC ER/PR- HER2/neu+++
5/14/13 Mastectomy and SN biopsy
5/20/13 IDC Stage IIb Grade 3 Nodes 1/4 also IDC and DCIS multi focal in remaining dissected tissue.
5/30/13 MUGA and CT thorax, abdomen & pelvis, establish baseline.
6/4/13 Installed my little purple power port.
6/14/13 Chemo started TCH
6/14/13 Informed of suspicious ares on scans scheduled PET.
7/1/13 PET Scan NED!
9/27/13 FINAL CHEMO taken! ----well, maybe not.
10/15/13 Three little tattoos.
10/24/13 Radiation begins and fourth tattoo placed.
11/27/13 Perfectly radiant! Radiation completed the day before Thanksgiving and so, so much to be thankful for this year and every day hereafter.
1/2/14 Happy New Year, you have a Goiter? Muga down to 59%.
1/17/14 Hashimoto's Dz Dx'd. Now maybe I'll feel BETTER!
5/2/14 Herceptin completed! New kitten!
8/19/14 Prophylactic mastectomy (right) and PORT OUT! I'm DONE and now I really am a SURVIVOR.
2/15 Started not feeling so swell. Memory lapses and GI issues with nausea and blurry vision.
4/30/15 U/S cystic gallbladder, cyst on right ovary and mass in my uterus. GYN consult scheduled---and cancelled. I'm not ready.
5/4/15 Brain MRI clear (big sigh of relief)
7/30/15 Back Pain
8/31/15 Radiograph: compression fracture L2
9/10/15 Bone Scan positive
9/21/15 CT scan conclusive for tumor
10/1/15 CT guided biopsy & Brain to Pelvis MRI reveal additional lesions on spine C6, T10, T11 and L2 is collapsing.
10/8/15 Abbreviated pathology: new tumor(s) poorly differentiated carcinoma consistent with known breast primary.
ER-/PR+ (40%) HER2/neu+++ Ki-67 4% Pancytokeratin AE1/3 Strong Positivity in all malignant cells.
10/13/15 Abnormal Dexa: moderate risk of fracture to both femoral head/neck R&L. Significant risk to lumbar spine.
10/14/15 Radiation consult back to the cooker.
10/20/15 MUGA 50% down from 54% after a year off Herceptin (???)
10/21/15 Kyphoplasty L2
10/22/15 Re-start Chemo: Perjeta, Herceptin & Taxotere
10/26/15 PET Scan confirms C6, T10-11, L2, new lesion noted at L4 but no visceral involvement---Happy dance!!!
10//29/15 Xgeva
10/29/15 Radiation Simulation--three new tattoos to add to my collection. Just call me Dotty.
10/30/15 CA27-29 63 U/mol (<38 U/mol)
11/3/15 First Trip to see Dr. E. Mayer at DFCI
11/4/15 Surgical consult to re-install my little purple power port.
11/9/15 Radiation treatment one of five.
11/10/15 Installed my little purple power port and not a moment too soon, took them four tries to get an IV started today.
Yes, we really are going down this road again.
12/5/15 CT for suspected pulmonary embolism demonstrates increase in T10-11 mets.
12/8/15 Bone Scan uptake at T10-11 (not seen 9/17/15) & Right 8th Rib (not evident on PET 10/26/15)
12/10/15 Consult Re: PROGRESSION. Halt THP due today. Schedule PET and order TDM1 for next week. PLAN B.
12/14/15 PET scan: NO PROGRESSION! THP is working, metabolic activity minimal. Merry Christmas to me! Sticking with PLAN A, it's working.
1/7/16 Start Taxol weekly instead of Taxotere (has been too taxing and not rebounding between txs.) Zometa instead of Xgeva.
3/28/16 CT shows new sclerotic lesions on T12, L3, L5, L6, right ilium and head of right femur. No uptake on Bone Scan (progression????)
3/31/16 Discontinue Taxol start Arimidex, still getting H&P.
6/2/16 Discontinue Arimidex and start Exemestane.
6/18/16 PET is NEAD!!
7/1/16 Discontinue Exemestane and restart Armidex (SEs)
8/29/16 CT/Bone Scan Stable (still uptake at T10-11)
10/3/16 BSO pathology negative
10/10/16 MRI: Brain clear!
10/14/16 Switched care to Harold Alfond Center for Cancer Care
11/24/16 Xgeva, New MO preference to Zometa
12/12/16 CT/Bone scan Mostly stable significant uptake at L2 plan to PET
1/12/17 PET shows NEAD celebrate with a new puppy!
3/29/17 CT & BS = NEAD
7/31/17 Aetna denies access to H&P <gearing up for a fight>
8/4/17 CT& BS= STABLE
8/9/17 No treatment, Aetna still denying H&P
8/14/17 Aetna appeal approved H&P through February 2018!
2/5/18 CT & BS = STABLE
/ /
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12-08-2015, 02:20 PM
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#9
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 293
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Re: Struggling with divorce, cancer, chemo. Not sure how to survive. Very bad day!
I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this on top of everything else. You've gotten some good advice from others and I wholeheartedly agree that you should do things that make you happy and bring you joy. Given what you're going through, you need to focus all your energy on you and do your best to put all the negative things out of your mind. I know, easier said than done. Don't forget that God is always with you and He will get you through this. (sending cyber hugs)
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12-08-2015, 07:13 PM
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#10
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: 'Burbs of Atlanta, GA
Posts: 172
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Re: Struggling with divorce, cancer, chemo. Not sure how to survive. Very bad day!
I am so sorry you are going through such crap right now in your life. Having cancer is bad enough but throw in divorce - you are probably stronger than what you realize.
Right now, I am sure you feel physically worn out, and emotionally not much better.
Without writing an extremely long post, I want to tell you to just hang on. This too shall pass, things will get better in your life. I noticed you had a passage from Isiah in your signature - follow it and know that you will come through this ordeal without a trace of smoke.
Oddly enough, cancer will leave you with a strange gift - fearlessness. I will keep you in my prayers. Pam
__________________
[FONT=Tahoma] Dx 12/14/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage II, Grade 2, 4/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+[SIZE=2][COLOR=Blue]
Surgery 12/28/2012 Lumpectomy (Right); Lymph Node Removal: Axillary Lymph Node Dissection (Right)
Chemotherapy 02/06/2013
Herceptin, Carboplatin, Taxotere Started 6 rounds on 02/06/2013 Herceptin
Finished chemo - May 22, 2013
Radiation Therapy 06/12/2013 - 36X External
TM Marker - 13 October, 2013
TM Marker - 15 November, 2013
Annual Mammagram - 3D - Both Breast - CLEAR!!!
Colonscopy - 1st-Clear - November 18, 2013
CT Scan-Results-Clear - November 27, 2013
BC Diagnosis-1 Year - December 14, 2013
TM - holding steady at 15 - December 24, 2014
TM - 24.2 - January 12
Herceptin Treatment - Last One-February 4, 2014!!!
TM - 3.7 - February 4, 2014
MRI & CT - February 21, 2014 - All Clear
NED - and my doctor said - "well, it looks like you are NED - your MRI and CT are clear - Febuary 25, 2014
TM - 18.2 - February 21, 2014
Port Removed - Scheduled for Wed, March 19, 2014
Port Removed - Yeah!!! I feel lighter already!!!
TM - 15.3 - March 25, 2014
Diagnostic 3D Mammogram - Rt Breast - All Clear!!! - Tuesday, May 13, 2014
TM-15.5 - June 25, 2014
Diagnostic 3D Mammogram - Nov. 2014 All Clear!!!
Diagnostic 3D Mammogram-Rt Only-May,2015-All Clear!!!
Diagnostic 3D Mammo-Annual-Nov 2015-Right Clear!!! - Left Breast-found 5 mm CYST. Aspirated - all clear!!
TM - Nov 2015 - 18.2
NED-December, 2015 - 3 Years NED!!!
TM-Feb 2016 - 13.7
TM-June 2016 - 13.3
TM-Oct 2016-10.0
Annual 3D Mammo-Nov, 2016-All Clear!!!
Annual Mammogram - November 2017 - ALL CLEAR. i AM 5 (YES) YEARS OUT!!!
NED - 10 Years Out!! - December, 2022
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12-08-2015, 07:45 PM
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#11
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 100
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Re: Struggling with divorce, cancer, chemo. Not sure how to survive. Very bad day!
I have nothing new to add just want you to know I also care and will keep you in my prayers. I believe that any one of your issues would make you feel wretched right now. A year from now you will be through this cancer round and in NED status and rid of the jerk - both great things. So every time you get really down, imagine yourself a year from now. Imagine all the good feelings you will have and then add imagery to it - beauty, warmth, friends - whatever works for you. Everytime you get to those low points imagine that wonderful time and how great you will feel. Right now feel the cyberspace hugs of your friends here.
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12-09-2015, 04:21 PM
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#12
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 52
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Re: Struggling with divorce, cancer, chemo. Not sure how to survive. Very bad day!
Thanks to all of you beautiful ladies. That's what my friends all told me yesterday, too. I need to focus my eyes on the Lord and stop idolizing the wrong things. Things will fall into place and Lord knows, He is making me new and stronger through all of this. How could I not be. It would be amazing if this didn't, I'd have to be numb. I'm not yet. I'm starting to plan ahead for my future and think positive about what God does have in store for me. My friends told me, if I chose, that I will, despite all of my baggage, find someone because of who I really am inside.
Love you all. God bless!
__________________
6/6/2015-Found a lump in my L breast at 45 years young.
6/12/2015-First u/s
7/2015-Mammogram and 2nd u/s (same day)
8/7/2015-Needle aspiration u/s biopsy. Doctor indicated looked malignant. (thanks doc!! the wait after that sucked)
8/20/2015-Diagnosed w ER+,PR+,HER2+ BC in L breast (now 46 years young.)
9/24/2015-Saw first surgeon, referred by oncologist. Great guy. Office staff not advocates.
10/12/2015-Met w Plastic Surgeon. Amazing doctor. Recommended not immediate due to chemo and 'just get the cancer out first' attitude. Will do recon with him after chemo is complete.
10/12/2015-Called first surgeon's office who told me that it's been too long since the first consult and will need to schedule another consult on 10/24 and then schedule surgery within 2-3 AFTER that date. (BITE ME)
10/12-Found a new surgeon.
10/15-Consulted with new FEMALE surgeon. She was AMAZING! Asked me if I wanted to do the surgery on Monday (in 5 days). Stunned and thrilled!!
10/26/15-Surgery for bilateral mastectomy, port placed, and 3 nodes removed for SNB. 3 drains installed.
10/28/15-home from the hospital to recover.
10/30/2015-Follow up with surgeon. Drains removed. Was told tumor was removed but had more than doubled in size from 1.3 to 2.9cm. 3 nodes removed, all negative. Healthy breast was clear but several suspicious areas on affected left breast. Looks to be Stage 2A. Oncologist appt next week.
11/5/2015-Follow up with oncologist. Planning to start chemotherapy (Herceptin, Taxotere, and Carboplatin together beginning November 30th). Very nervous about side effects, low white blood count, anemia, steriods, etc, etc, etc. I'm not usually one to medicate myself for anything. Not ready for this. Kinda scared.
11/30/2015 - Isaiah 41:10 today for sure. Today was my first day (round) of TCH chemo treatment. Before receiving the cocktail, I saw the doctor who delivered the news that my CT scans (abdomen, chest, and pelvis were all clear). Praise God!! Feeling okay right now after chemo, just a bit sleepy. We'll see how the Neulasta, along with the other effects, rear their lovely heads over the next few days. Prayers please, as always.
12/17/2015-Decided it was time to shave my head and face the music.
1/11/2016-Went in for 3rd treatment. UGG. Spoke to the doctor first. Asked him to reduce the Decadron. Agreed! From 10mg to 4mg dosage. YAY! It still worked and I was able to rest and live. Praise God. I jokingly told him if he felt like dropping some of my treatment, to feel free. Guess what?! He agreed! Agreed to drop my 6th treatment meaning that I now only have 2 left and in March I'll be able to begin the reconstruction process. Additionally, he agreed to schedule me for a brain MRI to just double check for any spread. Anxiously awaiting.
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