Career crossroad - Page 2

naturaleigh · 10-10-2010, 07:37 PM

I am no expert and everyone is different with different situations. But I always take heed at what my preacher once said about hard choice we have to make, "if you were told you only had 6 month to live, is this something you would want to spend your last 6 months doing?" Patrice, you already said that you were miserable and that you know that you are in the right field, just the wrong place. Could this not be a door that has opened for you? If so, and you don't take this job, will another door open? I know first hand what it is like to be miserable in a job and it is not fun. If you don't take the new job, will the job you are in become more bearable?

and Marcia, just something to think about: let's say you live 50 more years, in reality, how many of those 50 years can you be a Mom to your children. How many more years do you have to take them to school and to their activities. You are not only making memories for yourself, but for them as well. You have something that many women do not have and that is you don't have to worry about insurance. That is something I wish I had the pleasure of having. Take advantage of that!! You have the rest of your life to work, but your children will be grown and have lives of their own sooner than you think.

Sorry if I stepped out of line, but as my preacher also always says, "put God first in your life, then your family and lastly your work". Things seem to work out for the best when you do that. Work is important, but your family and your children are the more important.

Good luck to both of you as you make your decision.

Trish · 10-11-2010, 03:06 AM

Thanks for your reassurance Barbara, I don't feel like such a slacker for not working! I'm so glad the targetted therapies work for you. I am bitterly disappointed about the TDM-1 decision as it is my next best hope. I just hope the chemos keep me going till it eventually becomes available here. Good on you for eschewing the scans, I suspect you have a good chance of being around for a good long while so you need to take the long view.
Trish

PatriceH · 10-11-2010, 04:56 PM

Today's events: 7:45a mammogram - holding steady, new baseline for me...all is well. 8:15a - called the HR person at the job offer and said I accepted, with a few planned appointments in November, I'm ready to work all day every day. 8:35a: Got a call back from job offer, confirmed. 9:00a? broke the news to one of my bosses, very supportive...a little later told HR, she cried...a little later, told the other boss. He smirked and kind of laughed--which solidified my decision.

Told HR later, as we start to plan how she's going to survive without me. "I guess I had to make the jump. Either I sink or swim...and I'm sinking here."

Even later in the day, went back to modified bootcamp (still waiting for port removal scar to heal), stepped on the scale and I'm -13! We did lots of running and I did it!

Now I just need to survive the anxiety of "the first day".

Jackie07 · 10-11-2010, 09:27 PM

Congratulations!

bejuce · 10-11-2010, 10:11 PM

Awesome, Patrice! Very happy to hear about your mammo!

CDE · 10-12-2010, 08:48 AM

Great news Patrice and kudos to you for taking the new job. Life's too short to worry about things like that. I am a caregiver to my wife and I worry all the time what she may have to face when she starts chemo and work at the same time. Hopefully her boss is of the understanding type but at least we are in california so we are protected somewhat.

Trish · 10-12-2010, 05:27 PM

Congratulations Patrice. Seems to me your new employer is lucky to have you. Good luck with the first day nerves, I'm sure they will only help you to perform at your best.
Trish

PatriceH · 10-14-2010, 07:16 PM

Bejuce: How's YOUR decision coming?

DiDi70 · 10-15-2010, 09:16 AM

Oh dear,

Big decisions. First thing, I think, is to be armed with as much knowledge as possible, so, if I were you, I would press for the mammogram results ASAP. It's going to be challenging to make a decision without that info.

You do need to be very careful about transitioning your health insurance and benefits, including your allowance of sick days and the "new" company policy on leaves of absence. Is there any way that you can find that out before you make a decision? I know of various policies that have a 90 day transition for any of the benefits, i.e. new employees cannot be covered for the first 90 days of employment. Also, will there be a physical required for the new job and if so, will your diagnosis make you ineligible for certain benefits in the new job that you have at your current job?

Now for the other stuff: This is your life. You deserve to be happy, to feel fulfilled and to have a sense of purpose each day when you awaken. As we know, money isn't everything, but the stress of not having coverage would be dreadful.

This is what happened to me:

I was offered a new job on a Tuesday and had 48 hours to respond.

Went to the emergency room on Wednesday due to finding a lump on my breast on Tuesday night.

Diagnosed stage 3b on Friday. Declined new job offer as I was sure that my current benefits would cover my health expenses. My benefits covered about $20,000 of medications and treatments and I now know that the "new" job offer would not have covered more than $5,000 of expenses. I am now relieved that I stayed at my current job for that reason.

I have been told that if I look for another job that I will most likely have to disclose my diagnosis when filling out the benefit applications and that I will most likely be excluded from a lot of the coverage due to my existing condition.

I do know other women who have had breast cancer and transitioned to different jobs or to part time post-treatment and each one of them has said that it was the best thing that they ever did. Some took a big pay cut, but are happier to have more time to spend with their family, others have downsized their homes to allow them to have more cash on hand to pay for medical expenses no longer covered by insurance.

It's a huge decision, but if your benefits will be good at the new job and if it's a supportive work-environment and you will not be discriminated against for needing to take time off for appointments, then I say go for it. You deserve to be happy.

Try writing all of the pros and cons down on a sheet of paper and see if anything becomes glaringly obvious to you.

Wishing you the best of luck with this major decision,

Didi

DiDi70 · 10-15-2010, 09:22 AM

Hello,

Just realized that my internet has been "spooling" and that messages that I thought were sent ages ago are now being posted. Excuse the long delay in my last post making it your way.

Congratulations on the new job!!

bejuce · 10-18-2010, 05:03 PM

Thank you all for your support. Patrice, I was brave like you and just quit my current job and accepted my offer at the public company.

I feel relieved, happy and ready for a new, fresh start where no one knows I have cancer and will hopefully treat me the same as anybody else.

I look forward to this new stage in my career and hope it'll be the best for me long term. One thing cancer has taught me is to never be afraid of taking risks anymore, or really, to never be afraid of anything else period.

Thanks for your encouragement and good luck in your new position!

Marcia

Carol.hope · 10-19-2010, 12:37 PM

Bejuce, thanks for the article. I think it points to the major value of this very organization. Starting with Christine, who found a way to help others after she survived, each person who joins in is finding meaning and connection. As we share our stories and ask for advice, we enlighten (enliven!) our own lives, making them more meaningful. Even those of us who are too exhausted to write cheery encouragement receive sustenance from reading others encouraging and supporting our members.

Patrice, you are adding value to all of us by sharing this issue. The dreary parts of our lives are more bearable with all this compassion and friendship. I am very grateful to Christine and to everyone on this board, that HERsupport is here!

Carol

PatriceH · 10-19-2010, 05:57 PM

Bejuce. Go get 'em girl! and AMEN to the Fear thing. Best of luck to you. Honestly...I think we have more to give having been through this experience. Who knows. God might be placing us in our new employer to help and guide someone else.