Hi - Ive never posted on this particular board but I am looking for advice and thought this would be the best place to find it.
My AMAZING husband was my primary caregiver while I was going through surgery, treatment and everything that goes along with it. He gave up a lot to go through everything with me. He never missed any appointments, chemo days or surgeries.
I am 2 years out and seem to be doing well (I just graduated to 4 month check-ins with my oncologist
) I want our life to go back to how it was before (and I know that isnt 100% possible because this has turned us into 2 different people) but trying to get some kind of normalcy back is important to me. I feel like I owe that to him. The problem is that we seem to have grown apart in some small way. I asked him about it and he said " Things are different, you want to bounce back to the life we had before and I am standing here thinking, what just happened? I can't just turn off the fear and anxiety".
Whoa. I guess shame on me, because I didnt take into consideration ALL the feelings he would be feeling. Now I feel like crap and maybe a little selfish to want to move on and try and put this behind us.
Any caregivers advice? Please?
Some history: we were married in 2009, we miscarried in 2010 and then I was diagnosed 2 months later, 9 days before our first year anniversary... and for the rest of our marriage we've been fighting cancer. Not your storybook newlywed story. Now that I am better, I really want to give him those years back but I feel like he doesnt want them and he is perfectly comfortable where we are right now.
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