From Patient to Conqueror to Caregiver

[Estelle]

I changed roles today as I took my best friend of 40 years to her first chemo. She had just gotten a contract on her house when she got her diagnosis, and rather than have her have to find a temporary place, or give up her sale, I told her just come stay with me and get treated at Hopkins (where I went). Well she closed on June 29, moved in with me last week and off to chemo today. She is triple negative, but the chemo regiment is similar; AC followed by T, which I also had. As one who had gone through this, I thought (and still think) I can help her get through it, but the (unexpected) reaction was how much being in that setting took me back and riled up my old somewhat fearful feelings! I am good now, but have a new found increased respect for my daughter who took care of me. So I am now perusing the caregivers forum and learning a lot. A BIG thanks to all of you. I am feeling my way through when to speak up and when to just listen -- I do not want to compare her experience to mine, because every experience is different. Any thoughts on how to negotiate this?