Haven't been on this board for nearly 3 years

[chekmark]

I am also very sad about this news and I remember u posting the letter she wrote when she was done with her treatment and what an aspiring young lady she is. I do have a few questions tho. What were her follow ups? Since she says she has mets in several areas, did they do any scans, tumor markers, anything and if so where they all negative and then all at once mets? This is horrible news. I am not a parent so I cannot imagine how you feel, I know u probably just want to fix it, to pick her up and dust her off and send her back outside to play. If it was just that easy. My heart goes out to you and your family, u will be in my prayers and K will get some extra special prayers. I wish I knew what to say but I am still in shock and just heartbroken.

[Barbara H.]

As a parent my heart goes out to you. I also agree that it is good advice to listen to her and to acknowledge her fears and sadness. I also understand that her oncologists need to be honest with her.
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I am also treated at the Dana Farber. I was fist diagnosed in 1998 and did not know that I was HER2+ at the time. I recurred 6 years later in 2004, two months before my daughter's wedding. I had mets throughout my lungs, liver, a 3 cm tumor at the prefrontal cortex in my brain, and in my pelvis. The mets later progressed to the bones. My son was a senior in high school and graduated a few weeks after my brain surgery. My daughter had to have her dress taken in a second time because of the weight she loss. I also have a daughter with autism who was 21.

At the time my husband asked my oncologist if I would live a year, and he said that he could give me years. Of course, we knew the reality of my situation, but it didn't hurt to receive hope. Fast forward: It is now 2013 and I am currently NED. I never gave up my teaching job and continued to work through out my treatment. I recently found a letter that my parents wrote to me to encourage me, but I could also sense their fear between the lines.

Of course, it is important to face reality and to listen to your daughter and to support her. Although it is necessary to know the statistics, it is too early to predict her journey with this disease. There are also other long term survivors here. We are not here just because we did the right thing, It is just that all HER2 cancers are not the same, and either are the hosts where it decides to settle.

Again I encourage you to listen to your daughter, and to enjoy and live the life you have together. You can still be realistic, without abandoning all hope. Your daughter is very fortunate to have your support.

Kind regards,
Barbara H.