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Old 12-06-2012, 11:56 AM   #1
lasarles
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 62
Re: What do we do now?

Unfortunately, we can not change what has already happened. It is part of our story now. Our experiences make us who we are, for better or worse. We do forget that our husbands/loved ones are going through their own fears. Things will never be the same as they were, but why can't they be better? Make this a new chapter with new memories. We cannot let fear rob us! We live about 50 miles from the city and I was struggling with the idea of the drive for my 30 radiation treatments. Trying to be realistic, I said to my husband "I could go through all of this and still die a year from now". He replied "you could be killed in a car accident tomorrow". He is so right. Chances are I will die from something other than cancer. My point is, none of us are promised tomorrow, but we cannot live in fear. Make the most of today and let us all remember the saying " It is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all.
__________________
**********************************
05/2011 Mammogram - Clear
3/12/12 Found Lump Lt Breast (BSE).
3/13/12 44th Birthday, Mammogram, Ultrasound.
3/15/12 Needle Biopsy on Lump and Suspicious Node.
3/20/12 Dreadful "C" Word.
ER90% PR90% Her2+
1 cm, IDC, Stage 1, Grade 2
4/19/12 Portecath, Lumpectomy & Sentinel Node Removal. 0/4 Node Involvement...Yea!!
Margins Clear......Yea!!
5/17/12 Chemo Begins. TCH x 4.
Herceptin Weekly x 4, every 3 wks thereafter for 1 yr. Muga Scans every 3 mos.
8/13/12 Rads x 30
9/24/12 Start Tamoxifen
10/22/12 CT/Whole Body Bone Scan. No Cancer Detected......Yea!
1/31/13 Annual Mammogram and Ultrasound....NED....:)
5/23/13 Final Herceptin Appt
6/25/13 Port Removal
5/2017 Stop Tamoxifen (Thickening of Uterine Walls)
5/2017 Start Arimadex
6/2018 Start Lupron Shot
9/2019 Stop Arimidex and Lupron Shot
6/2020 Last Oncology Appt
4/2024 NED (No Evidence of Disease)
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Old 12-06-2012, 12:35 PM   #2
Becky
Senior Member
 
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Stockton, NJ
Posts: 4,179
Re: What do we do now?

I think we do forget about those who care for and support us.

You have been given some good advice. I think you both need to realize that your whole married life was one struggle (the miscarriage) after another - having such a sorrow and not be able to get thru that fully only for you to be diagnosed with cancer.

Your husband lost his child and then struggled (and struggles) that he will lose his wife too. He is afraid to be happy because his happiness ended so abruptly.

I am sure you can also understand his pain.

Start slowly with new memories. And I hate to sound like Ann Landers, but perhaps a few couples therapy sessions will help too. You will get thru this bump. He just needs proof that his happiness will stay and it will!
__________________
Kind regards

Becky

Found lump via BSE
Diagnosed 8/04 at age 45
1.9cm tumor, ER+PR-, Her2 3+(rt side)
2 micromets to sentinel node
Stage 2A
left 3mm DCIS - low grade ER+PR+Her2 neg
lumpectomies 9/7/04
4DD AC followed by 4 DD taxol
Used Leukine instead of Neulasta
35 rads on right side only
4/05 started Tamoxifen
Started Herceptin 4 months after last Taxol due to
trial results and 2005 ASCO meeting & recommendations
Oophorectomy 8/05
Started Arimidex 9/05
Finished Herceptin (16 months) 9/06
Arimidex Only
Prolia every 6 months for osteopenia

NED 18 years!

Said Christopher Robin to Pooh: "You must remember this: You're braver than you believe and stronger than you seem and smarter than you think"
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