Stuck Inside a Cloud

[Merry]

Thanks a zillion Trish for all the good vibes and advice and support.
I'm now trying to clean out Mom's room...I finally got my gumption up and cleaned out a dresser. It's a start! I didn't cry too awfully much, but there were alot of sentimental things that triggered good memories. I just wish I could find friends or family who can wear some of her clothes. I'll donate them to her favorite resale shop but it bugs me that strangers will wear some of her pretty things. Yeah, I'm weird!

My brother is not speaking to me. He just wants to have his drinking buddies over and drink. It's like he's the only one who lost a Mom...jeez...lol.
And he is mad because Mom left the house to both of us and I want him to buy me out before I go back to the desert. I cannot be a co owner of this house because he will destroy it. He says I'm a bloodsucker and it's not fair that HE has to pay for something HE should have gotten in the first place....and so it goes...I can't even deal with my own grief because I have to put up with his hostility, his drinking, and his drunk friends hanging around. At least they don't come inside the house, but it hurts to have him avoiding me like I have cooties....
So the saga continues like some kind of weird, third dimension soap opera that I'm trapped in...I like the cloud better and hope to get back to that happier place one of these days....God bless you Trish and keep you srrong and safe all your days....peace, G