I'm Taking Care of My Mom

Trish · 04-10-2011, 03:58 PM

I too hope the nurse can come and talk to her and perhaps allay some of her fears.. She really needs to feel she has some control and I'm sure most people would feel the same way in her situation. Don't feel obliged to come online and reply-you've got more important things to worry about. I hope you are finding ways of sustaining yourself during this difficult time.
Trish

Merry · 04-11-2011, 08:02 AM

Hey Trish....can I ask you what kind of dog is in your pic? It's cute and wooly looking, lol.

I can understand Mom's fear a little bit even tho she knows the outcome of this damn cancer racing thru her body. But it's not like Hospice is a death sentence. That's already determined. It sure would help me if Hospice came to "spell" me so I could just go out and not worry about rushing to do things and get back home. She doesn't see it that way, how it would be a relief for me. I know that sounds selfish, but I just miss my husband, my dog and my desert....I begged her to go back to NM with me. We'd drive and have a ball. I have to "adopt" her whacky boxer anyway so she could live with us and we'd take care of her. And she'd see how her dog will get used to a new environment. But, I also understand how she doesn't want to leave her own home and familiar surroundings. I miss my own home and my yard and I have another boxer out west and I miss her too.
I'm also trying to convince her that an electric wheel chair would help her get around. I want her to get that scooter you can ride outside so she can go on walks with me. Her legs hurt for some reason and she gets too short of breath and her pulse goes way high if she tries to do too much. She has the lamest excuse for not getting a scooter....the guy has to come over and show her how to use it! WHAT? LoL He can show ME and I'll show her! It's so funny because when she first got a riding lawnmower she wouldn't let me teach her how to use it either. LoL I even got her a walkman so she could listen to her music while she mowed. So, I was the one who had to mow her huge yard, lolol..oh my Mama! She's got to be the best con artist, lol.
I wish I could get some decent sleep and rest. I'm mentally frazzled trying to care for her house, her yard, (if I don't do it she'll try and I can't let her do too much) the dog, her and my brother. He's 42 but Mom took care of him (and his gramma) all his life so he can't do anything for himself. Makes me crazier than I already am, lolol

I appreciate you "listening" to me. I don't have a place to go to "whine" about all of this. I'll tell ya what, I never knew what stress was til I came home to take care of my Mom in her last days. One of the docs said she'd not live past Christmas and it's almost Easter....she's a tough ol' bird! Again, thanks for letting me ramble...God bless you..and what is your dog's name? Does it have ears, lolol I'm sorry but it looks like a curly gray lamb....a cutie for sure!
Take care, peace, G

BonnieR · 04-11-2011, 02:31 PM

Merry, I just came upon your thread. Let me say you are a strong woman, handling the impossible with good humor.
My question is this: have you (or someone) actually told your mother how much it would mean to YOU to have Hospice provide some care? If it was put in those terms, she might be more willing to allow them around. It would be taking the scary focus off of her and making it sound more like a respite for you. Which it would be, of course.
Keep the faith.