Need some inspiration

[Mary Anne in TX]

Hi Carolyn! Yes, of course, you are so normal!!!! I smiled to myself as I read your words, remembering thinking those things myself. I made it through 3 years, being strong (I call it the wonderful place of denial) and then 3 months after ending herceptin, I became a nervous wreck. It was the pits, but I'm on the other side and only visit there on rare occasions now. I got anxiety meds (not taken yet) and know they are there if that goof world comes back.
You are so normal! This battle takes courage, information, and focus. Eventually it wears us out and we need a break....I agree that finding some ways to pamper and nurture yourself would be really good. Living in a world that few understand and even fewer want to know about, isolates us and takes us on a different path than most of the people who were our constant companions and friends.
You will get through this time, including the radiation (which will also kick bc butt) and you will have those days of not thinking about BC. Just remember that Joe and Christine have created this site just for us to come to for guidance and support! Some days I lived on the site just to find some sanity. Now, I come because I want to know how everyone is. I also am very aware that the day may come when I have to get back into the battle mode and be a fighter again.
We're here for you, just as someday you will be there for others. Best wishes for the rest of today being far more peaceful. ma

[Mary Jo]

Hi Carolyn....Yep, normal, normal you are.

I am approaching my 4 year cancerversary and just said to my husband the other day ..... "wow, 4 years already.......remember when it was all so scary and all I did was fret EVERYDAY." Haha....YEP....he remembered.

The first year was tough but while actively going through treatment it was a bit easier. I guess just knowing I was DOING something helped me a bit. Year one to two was HELL...and I mean that in every sense of the word. Dreaded recurrence was ALL I could think about. I swear to you (and my husband would back me up on this 'cause he was the poor fellow who had to hear of my new recurrence each day) everyday I had a new cancer....that ache/pain/cough etc. was cancer....I WAS SURE OF IT!

Anyway Carolyn, YES, what you are experiencing is very normal....expected really. You really wouldn't be normal if you didn't go through this phase of your journey. BUT, pick up on what I said there.....it's a PHASE......and I PROMISE you...this too shall pass. Stay close to God - pray - stay active and one day this "worry constantly" phase will be behind you.

As Chrissy said...."one day you will realize that you didn't think of cancer" this hour - or this 1/2 day - or this whole day or even a week.

Sending you a big encouraging hug. You're getting their sweetie.......treatment is important and you are doing well.........

Love and God's Peace I pray for you today.

Mary Jo

[newgg]

Yes indeed, just give your self time to just breath in and out. 5 years NED here and there are still ups and downs but getting on with it. Figure...as many have said...the more time my brain is off bc the more little battles I win. This site....more than any...has given so much to all of us as we fight. So win more little battles each day and before you know it...warrior friend...the war is won. An hour, a day, several days.....gosh....it is possible. This beast will NOT control us.....we guide this fight. Smile !! Live, Love, Laugh !! We have all learned to dance in the rain!
Hugs and prayers,
Bonnie