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Dear Shobha, I try to choose my words with whatever I write because I know this is so important for us all. If I want you to know the real me, if I want you to learn or feel inspired, then I must be careful. I write these posts to keep everyone updated but I do it mostly for others to learn something that may help them or a loved one. I remember when I first found this site, Ed was direly ill and my posts were frantic. It was time and learning to breathe that helped me to become 'stronger' as you put it. Education has helped to, my knowledge of breast cancer lets me feel empowered. All in all, there are times I feel so damn scared and there have been periods of depression that passes. I do not consider myself as strong as you view me. I do what I do and say what I say because I love. I love him...that was always my answer to his Mom. Guess it is true when they say you find the strength. We used to panic about scans and waiting for the results. This may sound like I am just saying this but we very rarely have scanity like we used to. Ed and I just get the results asap and whatever they say, we know what the next step is, we are ready. I try not to focus on cancer like I first did in the beginning, the less attention and recognition I can give it, the more I feel like I am claiming my life back. Even now when I may be facing the last stages of this journey, I refuse to keep thinking about it. Life as normal as I can make it. I am so sick of cancer I almost did not go to the Relay tonight with my Mom. I went because we are survivors and I did it for my Mom, my Hubby and all of you. Remember you are growing and that you too are strong, time will only make you better!!>>Believe51
PS: God does walk by my side and so do you, what is better than that??
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9/7/06Husband 50yrs=StageIV IBC/HER2+,BoneMets10/06TaxotereX10,'H'1X wk,Zometa,Tamoxifen4/12/07Last Tax5/18/07Pet=Rapid Cell Activity,No Organ Mets,Lytic Lesions,Degeneration,Some Bone Repair5/07ChemoFail6/01/07Pleural Thoracentisis=Effusions,NoMalignantCells6/19/07+7/2/07DFCI
6/25/07BrainMRI=BrainMets,Many<9mm7/10/07WBR/PelvisRad37.5Gx15&Nutritionist8/19/07T/X9/20/07BrainMRI=2<2mm10/6/07Pet=BoneProgression
10/24/07ChemoFail11/9/07A/Cx10,EndTam12/7/07Faslodex12/10/07Muga7512/13/07BlasticLesions1/7/08BrainMRI=Clear4/1/08Pet=BoneImprovement,
NoProgression,Stable4/7/08BrainPerfect5/16/08Last A/C8/26/08BrainMets=10(<9mm)9/10/08Gamma10/30/08Met=5mm12/19/08Gamma5mets5
12/22/08SpinalMets1/14/09SpinalRads2/17/09BrainMRI=NoNewMets4/20/09BoneScan5/14/09Ixempra6/1/09BrainMRI=NumerousMets6/24/09DFCIw/DrBurstein6/26/09Continue
Ixempra/Faslodex/Zometa~TM now lower7/17/09Stop Ixempra By Choice9/21/09HOSPICE10/16/09Earned His Deserved Wings And Halo=37 Month Fight w/Stage 4 IBC, Her2+++,My Hero!!
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Hybrid Mode
