~Things That USED to Bother Me~

Believe51 · 06-10-2009, 09:27 PM

I spent my entire fairy tale with Mighty Oak racing to keep up with him. He is a tall man with a long stride and walking with him made me tired. Spending any amount of time racing to keep up was always interrupted by my pleas to walk slower. Sometimes this was a source of stress for me as crazy as that sounds.

Now what disturbs me is that I am still in race mode and find my pleas are to myself to slow down for him. Life has changed for us and I still plea to adjust the speed of our walking side by side. I like knowing that we have this time together to perfect our strides as a team! Love you Eddie and glad to see we still walk as one, with a little plea of course!!>>Believe51

Believe51 · 06-16-2009, 10:39 PM

I am a recovering 'perfectionist' that has fine tuned myself into a person who expects order, not perfection. When Ed had his first Gamma Knife I went for a walk to the gift shop at the Gamma Center. That particular shop has awesome trinkets and my particular make-up. My girls sometimes will give me a facial and such and I always love their quick company. It is a shop that pampers the cancer patient and I love the thoughtfullness within it.

I searched for something small that I could make mine which would serve as a reminder of the day. On a display I found a huge square silk-like scarf with maple leaves on it. I may love my oak leaves but second in line is maple and had it removed from the display. When I got home I knew I had to put it somewhere special. Placing it in its new home I noticed a run throughout it that no one would probally ever see (but me).

I was going to return it since it was of course overpriced. I decided to keep it for many reasons....it represented this monumental day is our journey......it was hidden in the display and I had to have it....most of all because life is not perfect but it is beautiful, you just have to see beyond the runs.

I kept the scarf and took it on vacation and shall enjoy it for an eternity. It was a pleasant reminder for me as I changed the wardrobe from one season to the other and bumped into it. I actually looked beyond the runs and it was liberating.>>Believe51

Colleens_Husband · 06-17-2009, 10:58 AM

Nice story Marie! It is amazing how little flaws can annoy you at first but later on become endearing.

It used to bother me going into hospitals. I never went into hospitals unless something dire happened to me.

A couple of days ago, Colleen went in for Herceptin and she said she started looking at the people in the fancier private room infusion areas. The hospital reserves these for the new patients and their first chemo infusion. Colleen said she always avoided looking into them because she knew those people were in for a hard time. She told me she looked into one of the newbie suites the other day and said hello to a young women receiving her first infusion. She told her that she can do this and she is stronger than she thinks she is. I was happy to see that Colleen has gotten past the 'chemotherapy is fearful and awful' stage and is now operating on the 'chemotherapy is a Godsend and it will save your life' stage.

Anyways, when Colleen told me this story, I actually had a fond memory of sitting next to Colleen and holding her hand while she was getting the infusion. It was a neat time. We could talk without phone interruptions or the children bothering us. I always bought her some small gift for each infusion. At the time I was hating being in the hospital. It is odd that I now have fond memories of that time.

Believe51 · 06-24-2009, 01:23 AM

Being such an analytical person I have always been one to 'look' before I 'leap', studying and looking at the entire situation until my eyes almost bleed. Breast cancer has allowed me to just leap. I love the freedom of being able to be so spontaneous and free, it is liberating and refreshing. I wish I had learned this so long ago.>>Believe51