Becky's 2000th post commemorative thread

[Sheila]

Gee, I feel shortchanged, I just fell off the barstool.

[Sheila]

Retirement plans compared...


If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago,
it would now be worth $49.00.

With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original
$1000.

With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left.

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Delta Airlines stock you
would have $49.00 left.

If you had purchased United Airlines, you would have
nothing left.

But, if you had purchased $1000.00 worth of beer one year
ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for
recycling,
you would have $214.

Based on the above, the best current investment advice is
to drink heavily and recycle.

This is called the 401-Keg Plan.

[StephN]

Hi gang!
Hope this one is "clean" enough. Most of us can relate ...

Subject: ROOM 302



A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph's Hospital. She timidly asked,
'Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?'

The operator said, 'I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number? '

The grandmother in her weak tremulous voice said, 'Norma Findlay, Room 302.'

The operator replied, 'Let me place you on hold while I check with her nurse.'

After a few minutes the operator returned to the phone and said, 'Good news. Her nurse has told me that Norma is doing very well. Her blood
pressure is fine. Her blood work just came back as normal and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged Tuesday.'

The grandmother said, 'Thank you. That's wonderful! I was so worried!
God bless you for the good news.

The operator replied, 'You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?'

The Grandmother said, 'No, I'm Norma Findlay in 302. No one tells me ANYTHING.'