~How Do You Relax, Caregivers??

[Vi Schorpp]

Depression is tough. I know that depression is anger turned inward, so I'm sure you know some of the sources of your anger -- your grandmother, life's unfairness, cancer, etc.

My maternal grandmother died at 92 two years back. Not a warm, fuzzy woman. Had her favorites, who ended up disappointing her throughout her life. I ended up going toe-to-toe with her a few times in her life -- not insubordination, but I never gave her permission to talk to me or my family members the way she did and I was having none of it. My mother couldn't seem to stand up to her, but I had no problem. Not rude, just in-kind language and my tone was the same as hers. Lo and behold, in the last two decades of her life she began to value my mom and her children. A little late, but it did come. Until that time, my mantra for here was lower your expectations, until I had no expectations for her.

Maybe you can talk to your doctor and get something to take the edge off life. It doesn't eliminate problems, just helps us get through them.

When you're really stressed, just know how much you mean to us on the board, and how you've supported everyone here. Get well, be well, and stay well.

Vi

[Jackie07]

Marie,

Please consider going for counseling.

My husband was already depressed before my breast cancer diagnosis last year. His Mother had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and his Dad asked him to help them out and not to work. Then I kept losing my jobs. His sister had been taking antidepressant and thought it had solved all her problems. She encouraged him to seek treatment and he finally went. The psychiatrist prescribed Bruspirin and he went to several sessions with a therapist.

Having a professional help him sort out his problems eventually got him out of the depression. He is now ready to go back to the workforce - probably will take a while since the economy is still down and we are living in a town with a population just over 50,000 where gainful employment is limited.

Do you have a hobby that you used to enjoy? Perhaps you can pick it back up now that you have more time on your hand. And if you never had one, how about start trying one right now?

[chrisy]

Marie,
I usually don't dare look at the Caregiver's corner because it is too hard for me and makes me cry. You are all such heroes to me.

What you are describing sounds to me like maybe a bit of post traumatic stress. Not that the issues you face are not real, but on top of that, add the accumulated stress of all the emotions you have put on the back burner the past 2 years while you focused all your energy on helping Ed get to remission. As Bill said, you have fought that battle and won!

This is not the same, but after my initial diagnosis and treatment (the one where they told me I was cured) I found myself bursting into tears for no reason. Just when I should have felt on top of the world. For me, it was the post traumatic stress.

Give yourself permission to put yourself first and give yourself some TLC. If you can't give yourself that permission, I grant it to you. As would Ed.