question re:Hope and Faith...

[chrisy]

Dear Kimberly,
I also think this is a totally appropriate subject - and am not surprised by the number of "views" relative to the number of "responses". We all need hope and faith, but in the face of bc diagnoses, both get challenged. It seems there are more questions than answers. I think God is ok with the questions, and always answers whether or not we are listening.
I really did not know if, or how to respond to your question. It's a tall order to give a factual account of my faith or a solid answer to how I hold on.
I am reminded of the story of Mother Teresa (I think) when told that God doesn't give you more than you can handle, responding "sometimes I wish God didn't trust me so much"
I don't know how I hold on, and sometimes I can't. When I can't hold on I basically surrender and admit I'm just not in control - and that God is. And then somehow remarkable things happen, usually unexpected messages of love or hope just when I need them most.
Sometimes I get myself into a little pity party and think how unfair it is that I and my family should have to suffer with this situation. Then I ALWAYS somehow come back to it's not fair that I should have a wonderful husband, sister, and niece and other blessings too numerous to count.
I've always been a believer, but that doesn't stop me from asking the "why me" questions and to be healed and, ok, cured of this disease. With God, all things are possible. And although it's hard, maybe sometimes impossible for me to see the good of this, I do believe God is working for good through this. I hope I'll get a miracle, but whatever, it's in God's hands and I trust in that.
You are not alone.

[Kimberly Lewis]

Thanks all for responding... I had a lot of faith up front with this but as time goes on and I keep up with treatment and recurrance possibilites I do grow weary I guess. The analogy of drowning was exactly what I felt... like waking in the morning and having to swim up from the depths of despair to breath... We are all so changed by this and coming to grips with all that means is a challenge. Just reading here is so helpful- I take your all words and hold onto them as life preservers!

[tousled1]

I was brought up in a fairly religious family and as I got older I drifted away from my religion. I'm not saying I stopped believing because that is not the case at all. With my breast cancer diagnosis I do often ask God why me, what did I do to deseve this. Then I stop feeling sorry for myself and thank God for all the good things in my life. Brest cancer is a dreadful disease and I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy. I do believe that for every door that is closed God opens a window and that He never gives you more than He thinks you can handle. Right now I tell Him that I have all I can handle and that it's time for Him to open the window. I have always been a fighter (not physical) and this is the biggest fight of my life. I pray to God to help me get through this and also pray for all the women on this board, some whom are worse off than me. I thank God for every day and I'm beginning to enjoy the simple things in life.

One thing I would like to add here is that I moved in with my daughter August of last year and was diagnosed with bc in October. While unpacking some of my things I came across a rosary -- I had never seen it before and had no idea how it got into my hands. The cross is engraved "E.Mc 3-17-59." Well, after some family research I found out that the rosary belonged to my father's sister who had passed away from ovarian cancer. I tend not to believe in the supernatural, but believe that somehow this rosary was sent to me and that my Aunt is looking out after me. Sounds strange but true.

[Mary Jo]

Hello,


After reading the original post and reading the responses to your post I feel compelled to add my two cents worth. However, I had to think and think of responding because I felt I wanted to put something concrete down here. But, that's hard to do. Impossible I guess. How do we KNOW that God is real? How do we KNOW that He is with us every step of the way? How do we KNOW that He feels our pain? How do we KNOW that He loves us unconditionally and that HE didn't do this to us?? I don't KNOW but I DO KNOW. Does that make any sense??? To those who have felt the Hand of God - felt His presence - feels the Peace of having quiet time in prayer with Him - you do KNOW also. He's real. He cares. He loves and this journey we are on is something we will never understand.

Someone told me once that we'll never suffer as much as Jesus did when He died for each of us on the cross. So, we'll take what we have - do the best with it that we can - hope to grow in His grace and love and follow Him to our Heavenly Home when He calls us. Their............... the ultimate healing is ours. Their...............all tears will be gone.

Hugs to you,

Mary Jo

[CherylS]

All of these responses are so uplifting. Thank you Kimberly, for posting such an important topic for us all. I just wanted to bring it up again so that more can read these or add to them. Chrisy said something about the number of views. I don't know where that is found, anyone?


What a strong, brave group of women. Isn't it amazing how far beyond ourselves the power of God can take us?

[CherylS]

I just found it by clicking on User CP above. 369 views, 11 posts. I agree Chrisy, that is very interesting. Everyone is searching for the only true source of hope.