how aggessive can we go?

Patty,
I can relate somewhat to your frustration. My feeling is that my sister is also being treated more "pallatively" then agressively. I know they want to maintain a certain quality of life, but heck, I'm still waiting for the day she's NED. The doc never says so, but I get the impression that he is simply trying to keep the cancer from spreading any further. When we approach the subject of possible Gammaknife, he always replies with the same sort of statement: "the liver is the biggest concern, let's concentrate on that".