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thanks lu ann
Something you said really struck a chord with me,....."But, I was greatly influenced by my family and medical support to at least try chemo." That is the core of what I am sure every one dx'd has to go thru. I never wanted the chemo in the first place, as my father...two of his sisters, his brother and both my mothers sister have died from cancer. (or from chemo, as i like to say). But the look in my husbands eyes, and my family. They were willing to try anything.But I never felt that way. I did it for them. But after my last chemo in january, I knew for my sanity for my faith, and for myself I just couldn't do it anymore.I like to say I just keep a low profile and constantly assure them how great i feel now. I am back!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My mind is the way I remeber it, I found myself again. I really wish someone had written a book for family and caregivers about how much they influence the treatment choices of cancer patients. And an honest talk about the difference between supporting someone and their choices, and making the choices for them. Does anyone really want to say......I love you, but not enough to be a guinnea pig the rest of my life. Nobody ever really tells the ones who loves them the God's honest truth about how misrable we are during treatment. As women, we just keep on trying to take care of everyone else. even if it kills us.Well I feel like i escaped from that trap and as i said before feel empowered, and strong in my decision. I know that probably sounds like a selfish, self serving decision. I hope someone can understand it. thanks for listening. A2
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