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Hi, and welcome to the board. Your friend made a very good recommendation by directing you to this site; you'll find plenty of information through the links provided here, and many who are in the same boat.
If you go to the "HER2 Gene" page (see above) you'll find answers to most of your questions about what Her2 neu means. Yes, it's a more aggressive cancer even when small, but Herceptin therapy had changed the prognosis landscape significantly.
Whether or not to have a preventative mastectomy is a tough call, but take the time to gather as much info and facts before deciding. Also, go to the "Community" page and then to "Member's Stories" to read about how some of us have dealt with that question.
We know about the fear and it's ok to be feeling morbid, that's pretty normal stuff for what you've been going through, but the fear and feelings of doom WILL ease as time goes by, just try to get through one day at a time for now. You've found friends, so again, welcome.
<3,
Lolly
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